Dewey


This morning I received the message I hoped that I would never receive.
It began like this "If you are reading this then I'm gone.."
After roughly a year of illness our dear Dewey has passed away.
He was courageous in dealing with it all and my admiration grew and grew.
He maintained his wicked sense of humour till the end when I forbade him to die, his reply was "You have no jurisdiction in the US"

He leaves behind his wonderful girlfriend who took the time and trouble to acquaint herself with the weird world of MovieChat to write and keep us updated when Dewey was too poorly. They were each others world and my heart goes out to her.

Dewey was a splendid person, a friend. I was his big sis, we spoke about everything. 215 pages of pms and I cannot believe I'll never hear from him again.

If you'll forgive the cheesiness I think and hope Dewey would approve of this poem...

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Edited to reflect the poet's name. W.H Auden

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Godspeed Dewey. A tough day. I won't soon forget you Dewey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dscsGRjpxk

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Warren Zevon sang it perfectly.

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Yes, great song choice.

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I noticed we have lost a lot of dewey's older posts.

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He deleted a bunch at one point.

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Wow that's too bad. Thanks for letting us know. He was my first friend here. 😔

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You are welcome.

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I had something really random and jokey to post today, but after seeing this thread, I wasn't in the mood. I'll miss him a lot. He brought balance to the boards and was always fun to chat with.

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Do the joke please!
We gotta keep laughing Amigo

The big fella' would approve of our ongoing silliness
He was a humorous man

Build it and we will come!

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It wasn't a joke so much as a true humorous anecdote:

Today I saw a man standing outside his car talking on his phone. That normally wouldn't be strange, except upon further inspection I saw his door was ajar, and from the phone in his hand ran a cord back into his car. He was on a carphone, in 2018.

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Well that is plain weird!

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might have been a cigarette lighter charger.

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Wow. I'd spoken to him for a few weeks awhile back, he was always so sweet and wonderful. I'll miss him, even though I didn't know him that well. I'm always here if you need someone to vent to Dazed, I know yall were close and spoke a lot more than we did. I'll miss hearing stories about those pups!

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I remember him telling me he'd exchanged some fun pms with you!
I told him he was a tart! He had quite the harem going here😂
I was lucky enough that he shared with me some photos of those pups of his. 🐕🐕🐕🐕

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Haha, he was a mess! It makes sense now, some of his pms. I didn't know he was sick, just when he told me he was going to be leaving for good, I assumed all kinds of things. Honestly though, such a lovely person. I'm glad that I got to speak to him for a little bit and see all his silliness on the board. Lucky you! I would ask about them every chance I got and he would indulge me with a story or tell me what they were doing. I bet they are the cutest things in the world!

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No way, I thought it was another movie quote thread earlier. May he rest in peace.

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Sorry barry...I wasn't trying to be funny. I give that eulogy to all celebrities....this place lost its biggest this morning! And thank you for contributing on the thread....he was a goofy fucker like us...all of US...and he would have loved it!!!😀👍

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Bullshit! You're always going for some shallow, cheap laugh to make yourself the center of attention, no matter what. That's nothing more than some stupid form letter you mechanically throw out there when someone passes, with no real substance to it whatsoever.

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I proposed this to dewey about two months ago in PM. He thought it was fitting. He did not want a bunch of sadness...he wanted happiness. Your comments are not appropriate for this thread...nor are they true. You are an angry bitter person.

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You, of all people ( and I use that word loosely with you ), are in no position to dictate what is appropriate here. It's not even your thread. The creator of it severed ties with you just prior to delivering this news.

I'm only angry when I see your sickening, poisonous presence here.

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Dazed and I settled our disagreement this morning. It was mutual...and deemed a good thing in light of the situation. She knows where my heart is on this topic👍

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Come on, Db. You have to know this kind of thing is the very last thing Dewey would want.

We're all grieving here, feeling pain. You may not like DF, but he's hurting too. We all grieve in different ways.

Dewey loved humour. I ended my very last message to him with a joke (of sorts) for that reason. Personally, I'm not ready to joke yet, but that's me. Someday, soon I hope, I will be. Dewey would want that.

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Yes, with me, grief has always been a retroactive experience. It took all day for it to catch up with me.

I know he loved humor ; I made it evident that we shared that, among other things.

I seriously doubt that Dewey conveyed his last wishes to that snake DF while Dazed, I find credible.

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I'm very sorry. This is tough stuff.

I can vouch for the fact that Dewey and DF talked about what he did and didn't want, once he was gone. Dewey told me.

He did *not* want a fuss made over him. Always humble. But now that he's gone, I don't think he'd mind if we make something of a fuss over him. Whatever helps us mourn, in whatever way we do that. That's who he was.

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Thanks for that insight.

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I can't help but feel sad I didn't know anything about this. It's probably been months since I last spoke with him and I can't even remember what it was about. From my own selfish perspective, I just wish there had been some kind of goodbye.

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Yeah, he hid it well.

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I don't know if this helps but in his real life he didn't tell people, not even his friends. I think it is that he fiercely did not want to be treated differently, he didn't want sympathy and sadness. I think inevitably once you know someone is terminally ill you see them through that lens even if you try hard to not do that.
This place was his sanctuary, he came here to laugh with you guys and I know he enjoyed every poster here immensely. It meant a lot to him when he was struggling to sleep or having a rough patch. The last thing he wanted was kid gloves. In short he could be himself, instead of the guy with cancer.

There were times when he came close, he went through a particularly morbid phase when he talked about funerals and headstones. Then he reached the a stage (we called it his Gandhi stage) where he felt accepting of things. Incidentally just last week he told me he was fine about death, better than ever and that he had reached Gandhi#2!


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Thank you for this post.
💔 💧

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Yes! All of what you said dazed👍 👣💔

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Thank you so much, Dazed. Rationally, I know his personal struggle was none of my freaking business, but when something like this happens you always wish you had a little more time, a chance to say your final words.

It relieves my heart to know that he wasn't scared to move on. I'm sure he never expected that people across the globe would mourn him once he was gone.

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That was the strange thing, we spoke about me telling folk afterwards and he really didn't think he was that big of a deal on the board! I can assure you that I told him he was wrong.
Ha! Dewey told you so👅

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He was the soul of this board! God knows he played a big part in me staying here.

Please, Dazed, is there more you could perhaps share about our wonderful dewey? I'm just not quite ready to let go of him. What am I saying?! I'm not AT ALL ready to let go! I'm afraid I just can't stand the realization that I'll never hear from him again!

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He said the same to me, although I didn't talk to him about telling anyone here after he was gone, but I'm glad you did and that you posted this thread. He was, and is, *totally* a big deal here!

Dewey, you big doofus, you! 😂

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Thank you for the info, Dazed. He apparently did fight the good fight, but in the end was at peace with his fate. Rest high on that mountain, Dewey!

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"There is special providence in
the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to
come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come—the
readiness is all. "

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😔

I understand.

But don't forget how many hours (days? weeks?) of joy you brought to him in your basement, watching St Elmo's Fire on a loop!

You made him laugh, and there was nothing else he loved more than that.

💓🐰💓🐰

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Every Friday, Cat.😘

But darnit, I wish I could've given him a little love besides the laughs and told him he did the same for me!

Had I known, I would've upgraded his Gold Card Membership to Platinum, which includes a fur-lined blindfold, diamond-studded handcuffs and a taylor-made leather whip I only use for very special occassions!


On a more serious note, his girlfriend and pups have been on my mind today. My heart goes out to them.😔

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I realize it pains you that a mensch like godewey would find any solace in the company of a Gollum like myself. I find it disingenuous myself....but it would seem he and others see that which is not so obvious to all of us.
I feel very fortunate for that👍

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Why don't you stfu for a change and can that false humility ? Can't you ever take a hint from all the worthless threads you've created here which never garnered a single response ?

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No worries pal, Hope he would have liked the funny side of things ✌️

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I just went through my pms and discovered my last one with Dewey where I shared with him the deaths of my two youngest brothers last year at this time, something I never disclosed to anyone else here. Couldn't help but be touched by the irony and poignancy of that because I was just as stunned and blindsided then as I am now. There's a bit of deja vu accompanying the surrealism for me.

Over time, Dewey & I built a great rapport, had a lot of fun here. We enjoyed a lot of the same music, movies, and found humor in the same things not to mention a love for good food and diverse beers. The guy knew how to party !

RIP

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I've always said you were perceptive and there was an occasion a long time ago when I thought you had guessed.

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Well I do remember a couple of times where he preannounced that he would have to leave the site sometime in the upcoming months and I sensed a tone of solemnity and resignation. Like I told Stratego, he hid it well.

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Yes, I remember that one farewell thread before he went MIA for a while. I assumed he had to take care of personal business and expected not to see us for a very long time. It's something I still had to think of from time to time even after he returned. I did wonder if he was depressed or had a medical condition, the site definitely seemed like some sort of therapy for him. I know IMDb was like that for many people. But I never dared to believe he might've been dying.☹

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Same here and I'm kind of perplexed why I never suspected that. I guess maybe because whenever he was active on here, he seemed to be upbeat, fun-loving and full of life.

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That's it. You'd think some melancholy would've been detectable in his posts, but I can only recall the one. That's the kind of guy he was!👍

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A few excerpts from my PM’s with Dewey. Would this be about the time in which you are referring, about 9 months ago? I didn’t see it then, but now I see some depressed thoughts.

“cat books has been facing an ordeal in CA. The fires have caused her to evacuate. She’s so stressed and alone so she asked for refuge from her brother, but “there wasn’t any room at the “inn”! He lives 15 miles from her. He told her to find a motel. Words escape me!
Please send her a PM to let her know she does have cyber pals.

Great to see you back! MY fun and interesting cyber pal!”
9 months ago


From Dewey:

”Hey there.

I've just been busy dealing with life. I needed something to take my mind of things.
I did see that you and Cat had sent me a message. I have a lot of catching up to do.
I'm going to send Cat a Pm right after this one. She's a special lady.
A lot of people don't have a family. It's really sad when family acts this way.
I'll never understand why people do this.

This place has went to the dogs. Not anything like it used to be. It used to be fun.
Not anymore. I'll be around for a few more weeks then I think I'm going to move on.
Most of the old crowd have also left. Which is really sad.

I hope your doing well.”
9 months ago

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Now this coincides with some of my suspicions and conclusions, that he had become seriously disenchanted with the site because I remember him making similar comments in threads.

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That's not the case db. He saw this place as a refuge right to the end. One of my last pm's with him from a few weeks ago he considered making a few posts. I encouraged him to go ahead but he didn't. Here is one of his last posts from a month ago. Check out number 9.

1. I am not Canadian .....thank God (just kidding Hownos)
2. I have 4 dogs
3. I like music more than movies
4. I watch way too much baseball
5. I've spent at least one night in every state west of the Mississippi
6. I love baked mac and cheese
7. I love whiskey
8. I sing to my pups almost every day
9. I missed MC
10. I may still love Stratego

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Well, people do change their opinions and feelings. Kspkap's quote above can't be denied and it definitely rang a bell for me. It's not at all unusual for people to vacillate between positive and negative feelings about the site. Given what's now been revealed, I'm sure he had a lot of internal conflict going on we'll probably never know about.

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You are wrong. He valued this place to the end and there was no conflict from the numerous pms I had with him right up until two weeks ago. That pm that was posted by ksp was before the one year celebration in February which dewey planned and orchestrated. To be blunt, you do not know what you are talking about and you should drop this matter. Also people should not post pms unless they had prior permission. I certainly will not post any of mine.

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I'm not wrong and you're the one coming across with that self-assumed authoritarian attitude again and should back off. I made it clear I was speculating, just like Stratego and kspkap about what was going on with him. I have a right to share like minded opinions with others on here I like. This is how people sometimes express their grief, by talking it out. Now you drop it ! It's completely unnecessary.

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Here is what Dazed said yesterday in this thread. It proves you know nothing.

Trust me shogun I wish it were a lie too.
I know he enjoyed every single poster on here. I think he came to see this place as sort of therapy a place to escape when he was unable to sleep or had a bad day for some laughs and banter with his friends.
He was a unique person and a gentleman.

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I already read that and it proves you're just hell bent on distorting my comments and creating an argument over nothing. What part of "speculating" can't you understand ?

But you know what? I'm really fed up with tolerating you and trying to get along. Why don't you just fuck off for the last and final time and don't respond to me anymore?

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😢

This thread is about Dewey. He loved *everyone* here. He loved MC, warts and all. As Dazed said, it was his solace and his escape when he was in pain, when he couldn't sleep, when he wanted to be cheered and have good company.

Can't we have this one thread, to honour Dewey, without conflict?

You *know* Dewey would want that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkgkThdzX-8

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Hey Cat, he came at me completely from out of left field with this distorted crap. He apparently has some sort of an ax to grind with me again.

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You're right this is too much.
It's making me terribly sad that this is happening in this thread.

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I apologize for my part in this. Forgive me.

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💙 peace

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCtzkaL2t_Y

Don't let Dewey down!

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Dewey said on more than one occasion that what he liked about me was my tendency to tell it like it is and not mince words so the best way I can honor his memory is to heed those words and just keep on being myself.

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I have no doubt that he said that. He loved everyone just the way they were, which is a rare gift.

Out of loving everyone, just the way they are, I just don't think he'd want to see this thread, which is a tribute to the amazing person he was, marred by conflict.

Surely what's most important is our grieving of the loss of someone who was (is?) an extraordinary person we all had the honour of knowing, even if it wasn't for a long enough time.

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[deleted]

The PM was in December, 2017. He had just returned after what seemed to me a long time. Read the first two sentences. I believe he was in a low point at that time which is understandable. The last paragraph confirms he was tormented. He was at a low point and lashed out. He was conflicted, but of course he still valued this place. He returned...didn’t he? People with a terminal illness will have low points, but others may not be aware. And knowing Dewey as he really was, he wasn’t going to feel sorry for himself. Dewey was one of those rare people who gives much more than they take. As the days progressed he got back into his old self which was evident by the planned February celebration.

Hownos, don’t fault me for letting others know he was human with low points in his life. It wasn’t all highs for him...how could it be? This you have to accept.

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I am sorry for this whole discussion ksp. I should have never engaged with that other person. I know dewey wanted to comeback just a few weeks ago but I guess he wasn't well enough. This whole discussion is unworthy of dewey and I feel bad. Forgive me.

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Thank you, Hownos.

It's ironic that the same kind of petty conflict that's showing up on this thread (of all threads) is one of the reasons why Dewey stayed away at times. In addition to his illness.

I'm so thankful that he returned, to share himself with all of us.

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Thanks a lot, Mitch.😑

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You derailed my Bob Dylan thread.

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That's what dewey would've wanted.😘

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I forgive you.

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Like always.😘

I can't believe so many people have been communicating with each other through PMs! When I practically begged you all to send me a PM I only got a handful and that was months ago! What do you people talk about?!

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It breaks my heart reading that.☹

In that specific thread he did quite literally say farewell to this world, but I wasn't sure how serious I should take it.

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*gulp*

Thank you for your kind and caring words to Dewey, Ksp. That was a very bad time for me.

Dewey was so there for me. Then, and before that, when I lost my beloved girly back last October, after losing my family. I wasn't sure how I'd be able to go on at that point, but Dewey helped me through it. I'll never forget that, or stop being thankful to him for it. He was a king amongst men!

He first told me not long after I lost my girl and had returned from NC, so he knew for a few months before your PM. Typical Dewey, he waited a bit for me to recover before he let me know what was going on with him 😢

I know how much he enjoyed you, and your Solo cup stories!

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Excuse me but who was Dewey?

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He was the finest Gent and the greatest joker we ever met
We wont see one like him again
Not possible

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He really seemed to like it when I once told him long ago that this was how I pictured him, based upon a thread game of that nature : https://moviechat.org/nm0579663. It became sort of an inside joke between us.

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Funny!
Maybe even possible

I pictured him as a younger Paul Newman...he was cool like that and i bet a handsome devil!

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slimone, His screen name was godewey. I hope that helps.

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Rest In Peace, Dewey, and Godspeed.

My heart goes out to every one of you who is grieving. The pain here is palpable.

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