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avortac4's Replies
Cool story.
Even you could write a better movie than these Home Alone entries. Your story was almost entertaining, even if not very realistic, so maybe there's hope for humanity yet.
Well done.
A movie like this doesn't need a sequel.
The first movie was bad enough - it absolutely makes no sense, even as a live-action cartoon that it absolutely is. Heck, Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle makes way more sense than this movie.
The sequel this movie did get is even worse - even fewer things make sense, and even more cosmic coincidences HAVE to happen for that movie to happen. I mean, it takes the ridiculousness to a whole new level. The likelihood into bumping someone you know in New York is microscopic, even if you both live there your whole lives.
The likelihood that Kevin would just randomly and casually bump into the .. I mean, holy cow, I can't even finish writing this without getting some kind of brain cramp from the sheer stupidity of the coincidences that movie ABSOLUTELY required for anything to happen the way it does.
It also suffers from the typical sequeitis, where they didn't know what to do - should they try something completely different and new? Nah, that would throw people off and why even make a sequel, if you're going to make a very different movie. Should you just copy the first movie? Wouldn't that ALSO make a sequel pointless, because it's just the same thing again?
So they did the latter, of course. Paint-by-numbers-style, just like 'T2' did - just take the first movie, make a movie that follows its structure almost exactly, remove all that was good about it, then add something obnoxious and copy everything in 'slightly different way' - meaning, everything is otherwise the same, but the details and surroundings have been changed. Rake in the big bucks.
What the flabbergestein would be the point of a third movie, when even the second movie was already a pointless rehash of a nonsensical first movie that should never have been made? I don't get people.. I just really don't.
Do you want 'endless sequels', or do you want something new, innovative and never-before-seen-in-a-movie?
Think twice before answering.
Dewey is extremely unrealistic. He's almost like a Mary Sue. He has 'realistic' childish viewpoints and expectations of the world, but not realistic reactions, emotions, or attention span (excepts when it serves the story).
This character just feels so fake, it exists for the sake of an unrealistic kid, and boy, we haven't seen THOSE at all yet in TV and movie trope world at all.. kids who are unrealistically smart, for example, children, especially girls, who outsmart adults, especially men.. NEVER seen that before!
Dewey is just a tired cliché of a 'super kid' that can never exist in reality. I mean, you can't really befriend a fly, now can you? The fly would just do whatever, it wouldn't just fly to your shoulder if you are moping, so you can say 'Tony! I can't stay angry at you".
I guess Dewey is one of those 'surreal' characters writers love to toy with but ultimately, don't know what to do with. He can use and abuse his 'cuteness' (such as it is), and he can be useful in many ways, but sometimes he's just nothing but irritating and groan-inducingly unrealistic.
Sometimes writers like to create some 'super character' so they can write THEMSELVES into a TV show or a movie - Wesley in TNG is the perfect example of this, he's such a damn Mary Sue, it's hard to find a better example. I think Watterson also tried this a couple of times, but then settled for 'being Hobbes'. He looks in real life like Calvin's dad, but I think one attempt was when they brought in the weird 'friend of the family' who mentioned that he thinks all his friends have been imaginary.
Uncle Max, was it?
I suspect Dewey might be something like this.. some writer or writers want to live IN the show, so they use Dewey for that purpose. I don't know why writers do this, though.. it wouldn't occur to me to do it, but even someone as un-artistic (even self-admittedly so) lunatic (sadly) as that bald billionaire is, wrote himself in the comic. The gag was, he couldn't get out. Yawn.
There are more things that absolutely make no sense, but I grow weary. These movies are such garbage, no one ever thinks anything through, because they want to tell a ridiculous, unrealistic story about MacGyver's lost son.
Considering all this, yes, it's very feasible and imaginable that someone would let go of their misery and exchange it for a simple life that brings them joy.
As the old Zen Koan says, "Poverty is your treasure. Never exhange it for easy life."
Maybe some people's happiness level rises for a year or three, but eventually, they come crashing down.
How can you rise up your happiness with money, fame and wealth? At some point, the money offers you nothing, because you have already indulged in everything you can, you have already travelled everywhere, bought everything, done everything, met everyone. People are still idiots and jerks, existence is still painful misery, your fancy car doesn't make you feel better, buying more stuff just feels.. stuffy.
Someone crying in a Ferrari might not realize that by letting go, they would receive energy from the Universe, by doing good deeds, they will start healing themselves, so without the Ferrari, they might not even NEED to cry.
Money, wealth, gold, etc.. CHAINS you. It's a prison. You can't get out of it, because it would require tremendous willpower to just give it up, or a spiritual insight that would make it easy. Most people just can't give up their millions, they can't let go. So the money owns them, just like Tyler said in a movie. The more you own, the more energy you have to give to the thing you own. You have to think about it, maintain it, and even if you don't, it's in the back of your mind, 'waiting to be used' or something. Anyone can experience this in small scale by buying things they intend to use, but somehow never end up using - they might start feeling guilty for not using it.
They see it every day on the table, but they never use it.. it consumes their energy this way.
Now imagine this times 1000 or 10000.. how much energy would you have left after 800 different objects or possessions like that? If you buy a car, there are insurances and taxes and all kinds of crap to consider, as car dealerships are disgusting exploiters, and won't sell cars normally. Even then, you might only get the car, but not the allodial title, which the government still has (which is why a car can be reposessed so easily, but your shoes can't).
I guess the original poster thinks materialism is what makes water gush from the rock. It isn't.
You can't become happy by just indulging in materialistic pleasure, hedonistically satisfying your every, EVERY need. You just can't.
This is why wealth, fame, etc. is a TRAP. It looks glamorous, enviable fun to outsiders, but you can't even count how many celebrities have had serious problems, including drugs, marital, relationship, existential, mental health, etc.. the list goes on and on and on.
If fame and wealth was enough to make one happy, surely any rich celebrity would be 100% happy all the time, without any serious problems. Someone said they'd rather cry in a Ferrari than in a cardboard box, even if money doesn't bring happiness, but even this statement is pretty materialistic and stupid.
The thing is, I'd rather be happy alone in a mud hut in the middle of nowhere than miserable in a big mansion with servants that even wipe my buttocks.
There's a reason why Enlightened Zen Masters exist, there's a reason why all major religions have always had the same virtues; there's a reason why it was written that it's easier for a camel to go through a needle loop than for a rich man to get to the kingdom of heavens.
The thing about money, wealth, fame, etc. is that people don't understand what it does to the soul, they don't realize how much it can tear you down. It's like .. now you are SUPPOSED to be happy, but what if you don't know how.. you get stressed, right? You have already reached the biggest end goal possible, you have finished the game, but you don't get the satisfying ending demo. What now?
What are you supposed to do when you are not happy even though you did all the things you thought would make you happy?
Studies have shown that even lottery winners do not remain happy for very long; if I remember it correctly, it varies somewhat, but let's say from one to three months is perhaps the maximum.
I think you are confusing television with programming.
The movie doesn't change AT ALL when viewed on a TV or when viewed on a monitor. A display device is a display device. It's even irrelevant if you talk about CRT display devices, because even those exist in TV and monitor form.
I was wondering why a television would somehow render a movie unwatchable - old CRT televisions might blur the picture and force you to crop or watch it in a tiny letterbox in low resolution so you lose some detail, but plenty of people have watched movies that way for a long time back in the day, and it has been fine.
Television NETWORKS (which is basically 'programming') are a different thing from the display device. You only mention television, not networks. People can have televisions without having a connection to those greedy, bastardizing corporations.
Why ANYONE would watch movies, TV shows or ANYTHING through that kind of system peppered with ads and corporate insanity when it comes to 'cutting' and such, plus having to be watching at a specific time, is beyond me. It's SO inconvenient - I stopped watching things that way decades ago, haven't been watching 'programming' or any network crap ever since, and I can't fathom why anyone would.
When you can so easily get the DVD set or any other way of just storing the stuff AS FILES on your computer, with modern monitors the resolution and the display size should be sufficient - I don't see ANY downsides, but plenty of upsides. It's just SO much more convenient when those things are waiting for you on your hard drive all the time, so you can watch any show or movie at any point in time you choose, pause it in any point you want, or watch any portion of any of it at any second you so choose. There are no ads, no cutting, no 'new sound effects that ruin the 1980s atmosphere (*cough*'The Terminator'*cough*) - excuse me, some autumn allergy.
Just pure viewing pleasure at your 100% convenience. WHY choose anything else??
It's because movies make no sense. They make no sense because the writer (among everyone else) doesn't care about realism, because they rather want to just write a 'cool event' instead. That's why almost every single character in every single movie makes decisions SO stupid no mediocre bipedal entity would ever make decisions as stupid in similar situations.
The fatso could've also jumped ON the car when it was chasing it - it did move quite slowly and got crushed a bit, the fatso could basically have been able to use the car to walk on - the car was so stuck, it wouldn't have been able to chase him very soon, which means the fatso would probably have gotten away easily.
As I said, writers don't think, so movies make no sense and characters are stupid. The more intelligent someone is TOLD to be, the more likely it is they're going to make a really stupid decision.
It's like movies are not allowed to be intelligent OR to make sense.
Just to add, the 'cop with NO intuition whatsoever' just.. let me get this straight.
A huge, bodybuilder-looking goofball in leather jacket wearing sunglasses at night asks in what sounds like german accent and broken english in a monotone, emotionless voice about a PROTECTED WITNESS, and the cop CONFIRMS that she's in the building, and even tells what she's doing.
WHAT?
WHY?
What kind of sense does THAT make?
It still bugs me so much that the robot would flick the car lights on and off in sync with the cuts, so the cop's face is lit by the car's headlights that are turned off when we see the car..
In any case, this whole thing where the robot so easily and casually finds where Sarah is being detained makes no sense. It should've been looking at every police station in the city, and how the heck can it even know what a police station is? Just how much data does this simple terminating machine carry with it? Surely it can't carry all Skynet's intimate knowledge about infrastructures, how cities operate, the police, the fire departments and all that kind of stuff all the way down to how social structures work and how people behave and and...
This movie seems to make less sense every time I watch it.
I wish someone could write a movie that makes sense. Sigh.
It's impossible to name a funnier comedy than '¡Three Amigos!'.
Not because this movie is funny, but because there are _SO_ damn many better movies, better comedies, funnier movies, funnier comedies, funnier and better performances, TV shows, comics, short stories, fan fiction writings..
..it's impossible to just name one.
In any case, here goes..
Liar Liar (should be 'Liar, Liar', of course)
(all Jim Carrey comedies from the nineties, really)
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
(and its sequels)
Airplane!
Airplane II: The Sequel
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Men in Tights (not particularly funny, but funniER)
Spaceballs
Fletch
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Back to the Future
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Top Secret!
Wayne's World
UHF
Then..
ALL Police Academy movies (yes, I said it!)
ALL Jackie Chan movies (I said it, too)
ALL Monty Python's movies
ALL Animated movies ever made
ALL National Lampoon's movies
ALL Austin Powers movies
ALL Scary Movie movies
I could go on AND ON, but I think I made my point - - you won the bet. Can't name just ONE.
Wherever there's suffering.. the movie theaters and people's display devices where this movie is played, THERE is your suffering! And he was right, they WERE there!
So, these strong, independent women, that won't even sacrifice themselves to give their hairy bush to a horny guy just to save their village (women are never altruistic when it comes to this stuff, you never see women give THIS type of charity to homeless or the nerds that never get any for some reason.. they could, they have the power to, but for some reason, it never occurs to them that they could make some nerds ridiculously happy just by giving up their greed for a few moments in time).
These strong, independent women can't do their OWN dirty work and save the village, they need MEN to save the village for them, and to be cannon fodder for them, because women are precious and valuable, and men are expendable and worthless. According to this movie and according to this planet..
Yet women that make millions just by opening their legs for a camera in modern times, complain about being oppressed by partriarchy, that literally lets men rather become homeless than helps them at all.
At least the movie portrays the hypocrisy of the world accurately.. if nothing else.
I mean.. SINGING HORSES?!?!? WHAT THE F WERE THEY THINKING?!
How are we supposed to take ANYTHING seriously, if you put singing horses in the movie? HOW?
Who wrote this mess? I don't want to know, it was a rhetorical question. Holy cow.. I could write a better movie about this same, exact premise, and put some ORIGINALITY to it (but not in the way of 'singing horses and bushes' and 'talking turtles'... holy cow, did they ever go to the wrong direction with this one.
This is one of those movies that no one thought much about .. 'yeah, let's cast these big stars, put this cliché plot, pretty women, typical villain with charisma and charm so audience will not know what to feel about him and just pepper ridiculous things all over the place, sounds like a winner!'
Well, it's a loser.
I WANT to like this movie, I love the cast, but holy cow did they produce an incoherent, tonally distorted mess.
The main problem with this movie is, it doesn't seem to know what it wants to be. It's too serious and dramatic, violent and depressing to be a comedy, it's too wacky and surreal to be taken seriously, it doesn't have many actually FUNNY bits, either, and yet the main three people are supposedly comedians.
Most of the jokes don't land or don't work, it's one of those movies where you WANT to laugh and you WANT to go along with the charisma of the big stars, but they aren't delivering; they aren't making you laugh, they aren't saying or doing anything funny enough. Sure, some stuff is 'kinda funny-ish', entertaining in its own, small way, but it always stops before it gets to be actually funny.
This movie tries to give each comedian a chance to shine and do their 'schtick', or whatever they are best at, but it never quite works. Chevy can be ridiculously funny, but not in this movie. Steve is amazing comedic genius - but only in other movies (not in more modern times, though). I have so much respect for Martin Short for his superb performances that had me laugh out loud a lot - just not in this particular movie.
This is the theme of this movie, everything falls flat, and then they suddenly take you to the Twilight Zone where NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE and then bring back to the 'boring plot'.
This movie couldn't BE more uneven, if it wanted to. I want to laugh and be with the stars and emphatize with their plight, but everything is either too underplayed OR too over-the-top, you can never take anyone seriously, so you never feel worried for them, no matter how many times El Guapo says the word 'kill'.
Why does his henchman STOP killing Steve Martin after he fails? He should've kept shooting until he dies, not only until he is slightly wounded. Doesn't make sense, but nothing in this movie does.
What's with something like an INVISIBLE MAN (the sword seems to be irrelevant even in the movie itself) that's defined by his invisibility and a weapon (why, though - doesn't he have a name, family, background, history, or something trivial, like.. oh, I don't know, story about HOW HE BECAME INVISIBLE, for example..??) being WASTED this way?
He wasted storywise and moviewise, it's SUCH a random thing to put to a story like this, it boggles the mind. Was the boss's nephew high when he staggered to the office, vomited some ideas and no one dared to tell him no? What the hell, singing bush and invisible man?
Think about it 'in-universe', though. He has this AMAZING, unique ability and power to be invisible, and he uses it to ... sit in a desert, waiting for someone to do some moronic chant and shoot guns uselessly (which are super loud, by the way, so I hope he's wearing earplugs at least), and then guide them to some stinky, hideous terrowist's hideout, which seems to just exist in the middle of a desert anyway, not in some hidden canyon or anything, so what's the point?
Why would it be so complicated anyway, why would the singing bush (however this came to be) agree to do this kind of work to help people find some villains? Where did the bush learn the songs? How does it vocal cords work? Why isn't El Guapo taking that bush to some kind of roadshow to make tons of money or at least sell it to the highest bidder or something? HE HAS MIRACLES in his hand and just leaves them in the desert so some goofballs can find his lair? WHAT?
Why aren't there tons of tourists anyway visiting and gawking at the singing bush, as it is unique and amazing? Why does it only sing and not converse with people? How can it be sentient enough to sing? How does it know to... ok, never mind, let's move on.
" Kitty's mutant power was the ability to past through solid matter."
What? PAST through? What the hell does that mean? Past means something that has already happened, it went past, it's in the past, Days of the future Past, you know.
What the F does this have to do with Kitty's abilities?
You couldn't mean 'pass', could you? There's no way adult mind could confuse such simple english words and concepts just because to a toddler they might sound similar, is there?
So I guess you have a 'Pastport' and you ask people to 'past' you the salt as well? If nothing else, at least you can remain consistent in your weird inability to choose the correct english words when writing a tiny, simple post. What the .. no wonder this world is doomed, if people can't even choose the correct word between 'past' and 'pass'. They don't even really sound the same!
You can SOMEWHAT understand 'their' and 'there', as they DO sound almost identical, but 'pass' and 'past'?
I am curious, if you use the word 'past' this way, when do you use the word 'pass'? Did you reverse these words, because why should you take responsibility for your own posts' legibility, right? You can write whatever you want in any way you want and it's up to the reader to somehow telepathically get what you were ACTUALLY trying to say, right?
What the heck.. six years and you never came to correct your post! SIX YEARS!
In any case, no one can explain ANYTHING to you until you learn to AT LEAST gain enough intelligence to muster the BASIC ability to differentiate between simple english words and concepts. This is not quantum physics mathematical formula or theory, it's the simplest possible english, and yet you fail.
Kitty's power is PHASING, but hollyfkyou wants to distort and re-invent everything, although every change they make is for the worse - the comics are more interesting, inventive and original in their storytelling and ideas. Therefore, 'anything goes' in these stupid cartoony movies.
Also, throwing a bullet by using magnetic power is not going to hit as hard as if it's being SHOT from a gun. The bullet should never penetrate, it should just harmlessly bounce off. It's like throwing a small rock at someone and expecting it to penetrate their clothes and skin. There's a reason why guns are super loud and use EXPLOSIONS and carefully crafted barrels to maximise the velocity and speed of the bullet so it can impact with maximum power. You can't generate ALL that just by a wave of hand that controls some magnetic force!
Even if you assume you CAN, there would be a really loud sound as the bullet reaches the speeds necessary to penetrate by breaking the sound barrier (which is partially why the gunshot is such a loud sound)! You can't just have Magneto wave his hand and have a bullet hit someone as the result, you have to generate enough velocity AND make the bullet 'twirl' AND make somehow sure it flies straight (if it curves, it loses speed and can't penetrate again) AND SO ON.. and you absolutely need that super loud 'sound barrier breaking' sound, which doesn't happen.
The bullet should bounce off, like a piece of gravel someone throws at ya, it's not gonna penetrate no matter how hard it's thrown. Sheesh.. these movies are so stupid.
Your post makes no sense, could you please elaborate how your mundane thoughts about your 'work in the morning' and expressions of gratitude for something we didn't see have any relevance or make any sense in a discussion in a public discussion board?
This is not a lovers' private chat, this is a PUBLIC DISCUSSION BOARD, so could you write something worth discussing about, or maybe do your private messaging in a, I don't know, a PRIVATE SETTING, like just sending a 'text' back?
Your post makes no sense.
So, what is the real reason?
Why post about something you are not going to explore in your post?
Is it because you want LINKS to do your conversations for you? No one is going to click that stupid link. Just say what you want to say, or don't post at all. Anyone can just vomit youtube links into forums and boards.
This is why, frankly, I hate your posts - you don't bring anything valuable to any conversation - heck, you don't even bring your OWN THOUGHTS in your OWN POST!
We can have a proper discourse or discussion about this sort of stuff after you learn to abandon the artificial, material structures, the network of lies that have been installed and imposed upon your feeble mind (sorry, but a strong mind has the capability of questioning, processing, rejecting and finding out the truth instead of blindly accepting the 'easy answers' from some 'authority', so this is not an insult, just an observation that explains a lot), and learn the ability to understand the truth.
After all, the history can't be explained purely materialistically, the mainstream theories and explanations are mostly wrong and based on misinterpretations and nihilistic worldview, just as existence of the Universe and the question 'WHY' can't be explained or answered purely by dusty doctrines from old books that are full of lies and disinformation.
The Universe can't be explained without proper spiritual, maybe even theological terminology, that this world sorely lacks. There's a bigger, vaster, hidden truth out there, but for some reason, people like you like to think themselves deep thinkers while barely scratching the surface of the superficial lies that have been built to hide those truths so people wouldn't understand what the Universe is really all about.
Just BTW, before any smart-donkey starts building these strawmen - planets are generally round, not flat, even this one. Flat planet wouldn't make any sense or be able to sustain an atmosphere or life, round ones can, do and are.