Elle: I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.
Callahan: Do you think she woke up one morning and said, 'I think I'll go to law school.'?
I love mankind. It's the people I can't stand.
ME!!!
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Too many great scenes and lines to narrow it down to just one ... I loved the "whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed" line, the "frigid bitch/constipated" line and scene and the whole bend & snap scene, of course.
I also loved this scene:
Elle: "For that matter, any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment."
Callahan: "I think you just won your case."
Oh, and this:
Elle, buying a laptop dressed in the bunny costume: "Don't ask."
Emmett: "Wasn't gonna."
And, just before that, "I'll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be!"