MovieChat Forums > The Birdcage (1996) Discussion > Please, please, can we do favorite lines...

Please, please, can we do favorite lines???

posted 14 years ago by puplover
61 replies | jump to latest

This movie NEVER ceases to crack me up; it was on tonite.

Almost everything Gene Hackman said was hilarious:"Billy Graham, nah, too liberal."

radio announcer re the recently deceased Jackson's last words: "put the money on the dresser, chocolate"

Hackman: "AND, HE tells that beige savage what to do..."/"Aristotle Onassis was the same way...and ALL of the French, especially Mitterand."

Albert wheezing in the kitchen in the morning, Val walks in and says "Oh, you've heard"

Albert crying over the photo album and says "OHHHHH, the penmanship award, waaaaaa!"

Please people...add on!!! Thank you....!!!!!

[–] sciencefiction 14 years ago

Albert-"Dont use that tone to me!"

Armand-"What tone?"

Albert-"That sarcastic contemptious tone that means you know everything because your a man, and I know nothing because I'm a woman."

Armand-"Your not a woman."

Albert-"oh you bastard." (throwing a heel)

AND OF COURSE THE WHOLE KITCHEN SCENE (look closely towards the end Robin Williams starts to laugh when he tells Val to go they did a 100+ takes, that was the best shot)

Armand-"What the hell are you serving?"

Agador-"Sweet and sour peasant soup is an entree its like a stew."

(Agador tries to put the shrimp in the pot that Armand is holding)

Armand-"Ah, Fu*$ the shrimp."

I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON. This is one of my favorites!

[–] egoangel18 14 years ago

'I pierced the toast!' i always think of this movie when i mess up my bread.

i hope you choke on your bacardi & coke!
*Team Landa*

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] puplover 14 years ago

"F the shrimp" is hilarious!

"Your going to the cemetery w/ a toothbrush; how Egyptian."

[–] KatrinaW 10 years ago

What makes the kitchen scene even better is that the actors are trying very hard to stay in character and not crack up laughing! I'm guessing a lot of that scene was ad-libbed.

[–] HawkeyePierce4077 10 years ago

"That was perfect; I just never realized John Wayne walked like that."

[–] wphann 14 years ago

Mine is when Hank (Agador) is asked to wear shoes....Chooze, you want me to wear chooze. (I almost wet myself) How about the kitchen scene with the boom box blasting. Hank's dancing to the tune, then sit's on the edge of the table kicking his feet! Just absolutely beyond funny!

[–] gbeach 14 years ago

In no particular order:

Armand: Al, you old son of a bitch! How ya doin'? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!

Albert: How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered... wrong response?

Armand: You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!... but you keep it all inside.

I can't confine it to a single quote but the entire scene at the restaurant when Armand is trying to teach Albert how to "act straight".

[–] kittykoritsi 14 years ago

~Albert: Oh God, I pierced the toast!

~Armand: So this is Hell. And there's a crucifix in it.

~Louise Keeley: Who is this boy, Barbie? When was the last time you saw him?
Barbara Keeley: Please don't call me Barbie. This afternoon at two o'clock. We've been sleeping together for a year.
Senator Kevin Keeley: Oh God, has he been tested?
Louise Keeley: Oh, Kevin!
Barbara Keeley: Yes, and so have I.
[Louise screams]

~Armand: Is Albert here?
Agador: No.
Armand: Great. Then he's driving back from Miami at 20 miles an hour with the parking brake on.

~Armand: *beep* the shrimp!

[–] design-57 14 years ago

I loved all of Agador's lines.

Agador: Armand, why don't you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness?
Armand: Your what?
Agador: My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You're afraid I'm too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right?
Armand: You're right. I'm afraid of your heat.

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] explorer801 14 years ago

"And Albert. Albert's practically a breast."

[–] green_eyes15 13 years ago

Albert: He made me like this! I was adorable once. Now I'm a short, fat, insecure, middle-aged thing!

Armand: I made you short?

-------------

Albert: What do you do while I'm on stage?

Armand (Laying on the floor): Nothing, I lie here.

FAVORITES! :D

[–] midnight_lily 13 years ago

Armand: Oh I see, so you're going to a cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian.

[–] dmacrillo 13 years ago

Yes, I'm watching it on Logo now!
"Oh I see, so you're going to a cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian"
Is one of my favorite lines! The delivery is perfect!
Also, Gene Hackman in drag trying to lip-sync to "We are Family" is hilarious!