Everybody should stop saying these things:

Keep hearing people saying of the advice to get under a desk in the result of a nuclear attack, "It's a nuclear weapon, what's the point of getting under the desk? Hur dur."

Well, not everyone is going to be at ground zero. It's a good idea to take what shelter you can because like most people you're going to be in areas where you won't just be instantly vaporized. Unless you want to spend whatever life you have left with a face full of window shards and the ceiling/roof falling on you, improve your chances by getting under the desk if it's the best available option at the time.

Tube steak

Less when fewer is the correct choice. If it can be counted individually, use fewer. If not, use less. This one is butchered all over the place and even in unlikely places such as broadcast and print journalism.

I prefer less macaroni and cheese. (Macaroni and cheese can't be individually counted.)

I want to buy fewer pans of macaroni and cheese. (Pans of macaroni and cheese can be counted individually.)

What you talken bout willis!

'realator'. FFS, it's not that complicated.

banana hammock

Very annoying hearing people saying "Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious?" to someone who is quite obviously serious.

using the word "like" every other word like a ditz