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Serioulsy-- why does it make men mad if a woman weighs more than 125lbs?

posted 9 years ago by Jupiter555555
196 replies | jump to latest

This is a genuine question. I've encountered it many times (online only), and I want to know why.

Is it because men think we owe it to them to look a certain way for them? And if we drop the ball, we're somehow disrespecting them personally?

Is it transference from some deeply lamented physical flaw that they have and they want to make sure others feel the same pain relating to insecurity? Or like a, "how dare YOU not be consumed with the obsession to look a certain way that I am? How dare you be that carefree!" I mean..I'm at a loss here, what is it?

Or maybe it's women masked as men who are like, "I worked so hard to get down to 118, now if bigger women start becoming acceptable, it was all a waste!" Because honestly I don't encounter this anti-chubby sentiment in real life, only online. I say anti-chubby because really the weight they're targeting doesn't even rise to the level of obesity.

I can understand morbidly obese people being a drain on economics, if it is or was at one point within their control to prevent..that could elicit some political anger..but 145-180 just isn't that big of a deal. Why the hostility and range????

---- Edit: 9 months after original post-----
I believe I've solved the puzzle. Often the word "lazy" comes up which is weird... why do you care if someone else is lazy when it isn't affecting you? Well, what they mean is, "If you wanted to change your appearance and be what I want you to be, you would! The fact that you're not doing it means you don't care about my assessment of your body!!" And there lays the problem: When women defiantly continue to eat and maintain a bigger weight that some men find unacceptable, it is a reminder of their insignificance. These women don't care what these men think or say about them..and they take issue with that.

I also think it has to do with guys who are maybe shorter or social recluses who feel they don't have the pick of the litter when it comes to dating... so they feel they can bully their options into becoming skinnier (not considering the fact that if they were skinnier, they'd probably diet and exercise their way right out of the guy's league.)

Thanks for a rousing debate, everyone! I'm sure it'll continue for years to come... 

[–] KingChrome 9 years ago

I like up to around 165. Hell a nice big ass must weigh I good 30 pounds alone. I like real size chicks, but I like thin chicks too. I like old chic too. I just like chicks.

[–] Final_Hitokiri 9 years ago

What would you do if you had a million dollars?

[–] Jupiter555555 9 years ago

What would you do if you had a million dollars?

Do you wanna know what women would do if they had a million dollars?

Date tall men.

[–] dl4060 (58) 5 years ago

So, it is fine for women who are wealthy to objectify men based on appearance, but not for men that are wealthy to do the same things?

I also find it curious that people speak about having a million dollars as if that is a huge deal. Being a millionaire is not what it once was. Where I live a million will buy you a townhome with no view.

[–] Tree-Fiddy000 9 years ago

Wow, just wow at some of the utterly mean comments aimed at Amy Schumer and/or obese women in general...

[–] bobdude25 9 years ago

Men care how women look and women care how men act. It's just how nature works.

Women don't seem to get this incredibly simple concept. They think they should be allowed to look however they want and still get the man of their dreams because he "should love her for who she is and not what she looks like".

If you are over the age of 20 and you don't understand this concept by now, I feel very sorry for you.

If you don't think you need to look good for your man, then don't get all pissy when your man doesn't act right towards you. It's not natural for a man to bring home flowers or go out on romantic dates. We'd much rather be at home watching the game or doing something else. Men do this because we know it's what makes women happy. Yet an unfathomable amount of women seem to think that they don't need to hold up their end of the bargain because they don't think it's fair. It's a cop out. If you want to sit around eating, not exercising and not looking attractive to your man then don't get mad when he doesn't take out you, doesn't buy you gifts and doesn't treat you like you're something special.

[–] Jupiter555555 8 years ago

But you're referring to interpersonal relationships. That's way off topic for this post. Men wanting their wives to look good is not the same as men expecting and demanding every woman they see to look a certain way, which is what is going on when men come on Amy's board to complain about her weight. She is not their wife lol.

[–] ian-00408 9 years ago

hate this *beep* about supposed expectations about women from men.

To be a man today there is pressure to work out, have a six pack and be proper muscly. This is what we see in movies, tele, music, and the newspapers.

Or you can just say bollx to it and just be yourself and whatever makes yourself happy.

In all stop the whining as there is as much pressure on men to look a supposed way. Instead of turning sex gainst sex why not join together.

Divide and conquer, what is the agenda?

[–] Jupiter555555 9 years ago

hate this *beep* about supposed expectations about women from men.

To be a man today there is pressure to work out, have a six pack and be proper muscly. This is what we see in movies, tele, music, and the newspapers.

Or you can just say bollx to it and just be yourself and whatever makes yourself happy.

In all stop the whining as there is as much pressure on men to look a supposed way. Instead of turning sex gainst sex why not join together.

Divide and conquer, what is the agenda?

Fair enough, I guess.. maybe things are different "across the pond" (I can tell from your dialect that you're not from the USA.)

Around here, there is indisputably more pressure on women. MOST of our sitcoms have overweight men and stick thin women, films have older men with very much younger women.. and it's also proven in numbers that there is more representation of men in works of fiction than women. Hollywood is a "man's game' and all that.

You have a point that lately there are a few more roles for beefcake men (young and in excellent physical shape,) but that's fairly new and still far less prevalent than the expectation that women be extremely slender and usually young too.

[–] rochambeau-934-616003 9 years ago

Because depending on height, and to a lesser degree bone density and muscle composition, the vast majority of women over 125 (that aren't 5'8"ish or taller) are just simply overweight.

The reason it's an issue is that obesity has become so common place that the fashion and entertainment industry realized there is far more money to be made accommodating fat people than ridiculing them like they did for decades.

Why do you think women's clothes sizes are not based on any standardized system?

Was a size ZERO really needed because so many women were getting SMALLER?

LOL

No, it's because so many women were getting fatter - and at an alarming rate.

As far as the weight range preference, I'm 5'9" 165. I like women that don;t weigh more than 115 - 120, not because those are a magical number but it's a ratio thing. The thought of dating a woman who weighs 10 lbs less than me and probably could wear my pants is just plain disturbing.

[–] Jupiter555555 9 years ago

Because depending on height, and to a lesser degree bone density and muscle composition, the vast majority of women over 125 (that aren't 5'8"ish or taller) are just simply overweight.

Simply false. You're confusing your personal preference with verifiable medical charts, a typical trait of the narcissist, confusing your own opinion with fact. Women that stand 5'3-5'6 aren't considered overweight until 144-146. Do you really think that the people you speak to online are incapable of using Google and consulting actual medical charts?

No, it's because so many women were getting fatter - and at an alarming rate.

Unless these are your daughters and you're concerned about their physical health, you shouldn't find the weight of other people to be "alarming." I also find it interesting that you call out women for getting fatter, when a quick bit of research revealed to me that in EVERY SINGLE STATE in the US plus Guam and PR, there are more overweight men than women by around 10%. This is especially inexcusable considering women are designed to retain body fat at a higher rate than men for child bearing purposes. So basically men are just fat slobs way more often than women for no discernible excuse.

Oh here's the source, it's fun: http://kff.org/other/state-indicator/adult-overweightobesity-rate-by-gender/

Let me guess... you don't care about fat men. Am I right? Because you've been told by the media and your penis that women owe it to you to look a certain way. Well..you're incorrect.

I'm 5'9" 165

That explains it. You're puney and unattractive. So you turn the onus onto women. In order for you to FEEL bigger (not actually BE bigger, but FEEL bigger,) next to them, you have to make sure they're diminutive. That's all well and fine, everyone is allowed to have a personal preference. For instance, mine is a man who is at least 5'11, preferably 6'0/6'1 and fleshed out/bulked especially in the chest to weigh at least 190 pounds. However, and here's the point of my post, that doesn't mean that you are downright negative towards those who don't meet your own personal standards. YOU have this *alarming* mentality that women should look the way you want them to. Date who you want, but don't have an attitude problem towards women who don't meet your standards. Just treat them like other people you're not sexually attracted to..like men and camels.

I like women that don;t weigh more than 115 - 120, not because those are a magical number but it's a ratio thing. The thought of dating a woman who weighs 10 lbs less than me and probably could wear my pants is just plain disturbing.

Totally fair enough. I'm not trying to guilt you or pressure you into dating someone you're not attracted to . Maybe I'm not making myself clear. The whole point of this post is that I'm bewildered when men are insulting towards women like Amy Schumer who are maybe too tall and "heavy" (though she's not, she's just not skinny,) for them to be attracted to. Why does that translate into you resenting her and others like her in odd ways?

[–] rochambeau-934-616003 9 years ago

Women that stand 5'3-5'6 aren't considered overweight until 144-146.

Well the standard for "over weight" must be on a very slippery sliding scale.

5'3" and 144 lbs is just moo cow fat in my book.

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] nlualum82 9 years ago

I don't make a fuss about a woman Amy's size. She certainly doesn't have to lose any weight. I liked Allison Sweeney just as much at her heaviest. I prefer it to the anorexic look so popular in show biz.
Pierce Brosnan is fit, smart, confident, and successful. Check out his wife.
My wife gained quite a bit since the wedding 34 years ago and it doesn't affect my love for her.

[–] ZeoRangerFive 9 years ago

Most men are shallow. That's all it comes down to. It's a cliche that every man wants the supermodel. When in reality I want the thick girls. Everyone flipped out when Kelly Clarkson gained a ton of weight and I could think is "damn, she is so much sexier 'fat' than she ever was thin" and I put fat in quotations because I don't want to use that word because she's hardly fat (well she's currently pregnant but that's beside the point). Amy Schumer is incredibly sexy and I don't care what her weight is because she's very attractive. I'd take her over any supermodel any day!

Dragonzord! Mastodon! Pterodactyl! Triceratops! Saber Toothed Tiger! Tyrannosaurus!

[–] Xenopickles 9 years ago

The average size for a woman in the United States is a 12/14, which is right on the border for plus size. Amy is probably a size 6. Why do people think she is fat? Do you have to see a woman's pelvic bones and rib cage stick out in order for her to be skinny enough? Give me a break! Blame the fashion industry.

Get away from her, you BITCH!!!

[–] dl4060 (58) 5 years ago

Size 12-14 is quite big. The issue is that what has become normal in this country is actually fat.

[–] mmsock1971 9 years ago

Serioulsy-- why does it make men mad if a woman weighs more than 125lbs?

It doesn't. You're projecting your own insecurities and bad experiences, not to mention ridiculous sexism onto half of the world's population. Instead of asking foolish, condescending questions, figure out why you're so jaded, and attracting losers into your life who confirm your own absurd generalizations.

"I'm doing good in the game, so I'm doing good in life!" - Charlie Kelly

[–] Jupiter555555 9 years ago

It doesn't. You're projecting your own insecurities and bad experiences, not to mention ridiculous sexism onto half of the world's population. Instead of asking foolish, condescending questions, figure out why you're so jaded, and attracting losers into your life who confirm your own absurd generalizations.

This is basically all because I didn't use the word "some" in front of men in my subject line. That's petty and nitpicking. I refuse to cater to someone who has 0 independent thinking skills. It is obvious I was referring to the men this applies to, and in no way was suggesting that every single man does.

[–] LukeLovesFilm28 9 years ago

Mad? I'd say it just makes me sad. For one, they'll never have me. Two, they'll never be fully comfortable in who they are.

If men get mad at anything, it's the general attitude among these fat women that their sensitive feelings about their weight mean more than what we want. They can get extremely selfish and hostile. We end up having to cradle them and their feelings while ignoring our personal wants and desires. And these women don't make an effort to find out what we want and make it happen, because they're too busy in their bipolar reactions.

[–] Jupiter555555 9 years ago

Mad? I'd say it just makes me sad. For one, they'll never have me. Two, they'll never be fully comfortable in who they are.

Why do either of those things make you "sad"??

these women don't make an effort to find out what we want and make it happen, because they're too busy in their bipolar reactions.

Or because it doesn't matter to them what you want. And that's what makes you angry, whether you admit it or not. Your post is laced with thinly veiled hostility.