I appreciate the conversation, too. Sorry about the post's length, but there was a lot I tried to get on the table here so you know where I'm coming from.
There are a lot of avenues to my thoughts about forgiveness and reconciliation. They're as complicated as any deep, philosophical concept can be - particularly one that is believed in, as is the case here with me.
I'm going to start by assuming, and to some extent, inferring, that you believe in redemption, just perhaps not to the Nth degree. I'll try to broad-strokes some of my thoughts on this subject, but please give me a bit of grace here because - as I say - it's a complicated thing and quick summations are liable to lose nuance; I'm more than likely to misspeak (mis-type?) here. So, please bear with me.
First, I think there are two main areas we're discussing: real life and fiction. Redemption applies to both, in terms of story or necessary aspect of life. But they aren't going to be the same. What works on the page or screen won't work in real life. In real life, Darth Vader probably wouldn't have a change of heart at all, likely would be unable or unwilling to seek reconciliation, and shouldn't be forgiven. By the same token, people like Lando or Han would be harder to forgive in real life, too. Han was a drug-runner for a nasty mobster. In real life, this guy would basically be a meth distributor at best, if not an actual pirate who would have murdered many people and ruined many more lives. Lando was, basically, Vichy French - collaborating with the Nazis and looking the other way to save his own skin and bank balance.
In real life, they aren't easy to forgive, either, although certainly more than Vader who would be Third Reich inner circle.
So, who gets forgiveness? At a fundamental level, and the reason why I think redemption stories - especially ones of the bleakest kind - are necessary, I think everyone needs to get a shot at coming back from their hellish, shadow-selves. On a practical level, that might be impossible. To put it another way, I don't think Charles Manson was salvageable; I think that was a messed-up lost cause. But, if somebody wanted to try, I would have said, "Go ahead and try".
That doesn't mean I'd necessarily release Manson from prison, either. If somebody embezzles my money, I would hope I would come to forgive that person (assuming they're truly seeking forgiveness and trying to be a good person), but that doesn't mean I'd hire them to be my accountant.
Speaking of accounting, that doesn't mean that no punishments should be meted out either. Part of forgiveness and reconciliation must include making good or whole what was broken, to the extent that it could be.
In summation, I think that the fundamental principle is an imperative of humanity. I think that people need to have second chances. I don't think that lets them off the hook, as it were. I would be dubious about certain people (like mass murderers) being able to stop being such heinous psychopaths, but I'd have to try. The principle of it is important.
Bringing it back to Star Wars, I think that's the reason why I like redemption arcs, is because they are important narratives to tell so that we as a society will not just "cancel" people with no hope of forgiveness, but rather we will attempt to rehabilitate and reconcile with those who have done us wrong - in some ways, especially the people that are awful.
As a final thought, one which would require a separate post to work through (or several) fictional narratives often bend or break certain "rules" which exist in real life. In real life, Vader's a war criminal, a mass-murderer, and probably a psychopath. But the movies soften certain edges. We understand the heinousness of blasting Alderaan from the sky, for instance, but because we didn't directly meet those innocents, audiences just think "That was bad", not necessarily processing it as the world-stopping tragedy it is. Star Wars presents as an adventure film, so although it gets dark, it's also fun. That's why Luke doesn't mourn Beru and Owen as much as he should. That's why Leia isn't going through PTSD from watching Alderaan blow up. She should be a quivering mess of survivor's guilt by the time Luke and Han save her. She isn't because Star Wars plays by mythological rules, not real world rules.
That's why I think people like me are able to forgive Vader's atrocities. The world of the film has different standards, so we just know Vader = Evil and then, in the second and third films (V and VI, technically), we know that Luke sets out to save his soul, as it were, and ultimately succeeds. I'm okay with that because of the mythological-level/ faerie story setting.
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