A very well thought out post, I too have spent many hours pondering things on the matter but couldn't really get anywhere due to the fact that I don't really have an extensive academic background to even form a hypothesis of my own. However, I have read a lot of articles that may not be directly related to the subject matter but have allowed me to connect the dots of sorts to figure things out.
In regards to the possibility of wormhole travel and such, I have concluded that it's not possible based on two factors, initial mapping (surveying), and fluctuation of fundamental physics. In order to make wormhole travel practical and safe, you have to do initial mapping of the destination, which is a problem because it's too far away. I assume they could guess it instead, but who would want to take a ride on such terms? They could send a drone or something as a test run, but there would be a severe limitation on how much a drone can even accomplish without direct supervision by humans. And there's a slight problem with a drone proposal, which leads to the second point.
Space is very volatile in terms of physics, in that a certain physics property in one place simple does not apply at another place due to the fluctuation of fundamental physics. So even if this drone of ours has the material makeup to withstand our own space, it may not withstand or even function in another part of the universe. This also further complicates the actual wormhole travel mechanism as well, as it now has to account for every variable fundamental physics in the universe, which seems like an impossible task, especially when we couldn't be able to even do initial mapping.
As for aliens not even caring, well you have to consider the intention of the aliens in a context, I for one think that if aliens have visited Earth, those particular ones are likely to care very much, because they are likely exploring or surveying, otherwise why would they bother to travel so far in the first place? But given the notion of which I have proposed regarding wormhole travel, it's very difficult for me to even consider the possibility that aliens from afar have ever visited our planet, EVER.
On the subject of the government or secret organization being involved with the aliens, there are just too many things that are very sketchy to even consider such a thing as fact at this point. I might as well believe that dragons and unicorns exist before I believe in that.
The only possible scenario that would make me believe in the existence of aliens would be that they live very close to us so that wormhole travel would not be as necessary, and that they were around for a very long time to the point where we humans were bio-engineered by them in the past and are heavily involved in the history of human-kind from the very beginning.
In the end, I just think whether there are aliens or not does not matter much in the grand scheme of things because ultimately the humans will decide the fate of where we head towards in the future, barring any natural disaster that would wipe us out clean.
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