MovieChat Forums > Pretty Little Liars (2010) Discussion > OT: I need some very personal advice

OT: I need some very personal advice

posted 8 years ago by alecz-36042
59 replies | jump to latest

Where do I start? So, I'm 18 years old, male and in college and I've been going through a very tough time lately. Throughout high school I was stressed out due to the work load and also because I began to question my sexuality. It all started when I met this guy named Andy, at first I didn't want to be around him because I was homophobic and he was openly gay, but as I got to know him I began to fall for him, thinking he was into me. I was confused, not knowing what to do, never having fallen for a guy before. He later found a boyfriend, I got jealous, but happy for him, though eventually I told him how I felt and he took it well, we're still friends, and I've moved on, but now I feel empty. I want to experiment with my best friend Jason whom I've known since middle school, but I'm scared of ruining our friendship if he takes it badly. But at the same time I can't help, I just have this strong urge to experiment with him. IDK if it's to rid myself of this void, but I just don't what to do, I need some advice, please help, thank you.

[–] MissVaughn 8 years ago

Hi Alecz, welcome to the PLL boards. I'll give you my perspective, as a hetero 32 year old female who graduated college a decade!! ago. :)

He later found a boyfriend, I got jealous, but happy for him, though eventually I told him how I felt and he took it well, we're still friends, and I've moved on, but now I feel empty.

First of all, congratulations on having the courage to be honest with your friend. That take guts and I'm proud of you and happy it went over well.

I want to experiment with my best friend Jason whom I've known since middle school, but I'm scared of ruining our friendship if he takes it badly. But at the same time I can't help, I just have this strong urge to experiment with him. IDK if it's to rid myself of this void, but I just don't what to do, I need some advice, please help, thank you.

OK so now on to Jason. I guess my first question would be: Is Jason openly gay/bi? Or are you getting flirtatious vibes from him? Second question: Does Jason have any idea that you yourself have discovered that you have romantic feelings for other guys? If the answers to these questions are yes, then I'd say it's probably OK to "experiment" with him. You would seem to be on similar pages. If the answer is no, I'd be more hesitant.

Friends are a wonderful/safe way to experiment, in college or otherwise. I can see why you would want to test the waters with someone you know - it feels comfortable/familiar...just less scary overall. Of course there are potential side effects - one of you could develop deep feelings while the other could not. This could ruin/end your friendship. But the opposite could happen and you might just experiment your way into a deep, meaningful relationship.

Either way - don't feel pressure to do anything you don't want. Good luck! Have fun...and yes, of course study hard!

Edit: And be safe - that's uber important...condoms, condoms, condoms! If you're a poor college student (I was), you can typically depend on student health giving them out for free.

OK, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?"