OT: I need some very personal advice

Stick to studying. Relationships can come later. You'll have time for that when you're older. Get a good career first.

I'm not saying you should feel ashamed or repress how you feel. But there's more to life than experimenting.

hi Alec,

Fagguette here, don't feel ashamed, because reasons.

Seriously though, sexual experimentation (and not even with your orientation, but general experimentation) is a normal natural healthy and most importantly, fun part of life. its very sad that the world looks down on it, even if you're not doing it with some one of the same sex, people are very quick to judge you for experimenting with anything that isn't in the norm for sex.

One thing to remember is that no matter which way you swing, whatever happens behind that closed door doesn't have to be anyones business unless you make it so. There are people who are happily gay and closeted, or doing other antics in the bedroom and no one knows but their partner. but if you want to share it with the world, you can go ahead and do that too, just remember that other people are still gonna have their opinions no matter how well you own it.

if you want to experiment, experiment. that being said, maybe dont try to experiment with your existing friends. its hard enough with straight friends when this happens, throw in some orientation experimentation and it gets a lot more difficult to navigate, and a lot of people simply aren't ready to have that option presented to them. as gay friendly as someone may say they are, they still act like gay is in insult if its applied to them. This doesn't make them wrong per se, but you can see why it would be difficult when propositioned.

I recommend experimenting with others. there are stories of just about everyone in college experimenting. if not because they're curious, then just because they are on their own for the first time and simply don't know how to control themselves. if you want to test the waters with your friend, do so by not propositioning him, but telling him about your confusion with your sexuality. see how he reacts. if he doesn't admit to his own issues with it, then dont bother pursuing it any further.

Remember that even if he DOES wnat to experiment with you, it could still spell disaster later. the sex could be awful and he cant stand to look at you after. or you can fall too hard for each other and have the typical break up. remember that when you push a friendship in this relationship, it can't just slide back. nothing will ever be the same again, which is why i dont recommend even hinting at it.

Good luck friendo, and if you ahve any more questions please feel free to talk here or even private message me. I'm a bit experienced here (re: a slut) and have been in many a situation you've described with various results in each round.


*when life gives you lemons*
Sara: are you a sour lemon?

I think you should do some self exploration but I DON'T think you should experiment with your friend, especially since you aren't sure of your feelings. It could get way too messy and painful, way quickly. So go out and have fun, date, meet new people, and find what you want and how you feel that way. If time passes and you've worked out whatever it is that's conflicting you and you still have feelings for your friend, approach him then. But don't use him as an experiment or to fill a void because I think chances are you'd regret it.

The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters.

You came to the right place everyone on this board is really friendly and easy to talk to. I would recommend not getting involved with your best friend until you're more confident and sure of your feelings. Try to meet new people and if you still have feelings for him then approach him about taking things to the next level. I know the topic of college experiences came up in this thread and just remember that college is what you make of it. College is not high school. You have more freedom but more responsibility. I definitely look back on undergrad fondly but I would recommend that you of course study enough so you get the grades you need for grad school/skills for professional life and have FUN. If you do anything in excess then you'll most likely regret it as an adult. Life is so different after college and it's more difficult to make friends, date, etc. Just make time for everything in life and you'll be happy. Sorry if that came off as lecturing but I felt all PBS for a minute there.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children 

My advice would not to experiment for the first time with a friend, because if it does not work out or he reacts badly you might lose his friendships. Surely there must be other men that you can meet and go on dates with in your university. Does it have a LGBT club ? You could start finding out if Jason swings that way judging by how he reacts to you becoming socially active with gay men.
Apart from that, just make sure that your personal troubles don' t bleed into your study time, but also don't use school work as an excuse to avoid having a social life.

It's a bad idea to experiment with your best friend, especially if he hasn't made it clear to you that he feels the same way. Telling him how you feel or attempting to pursue him could end badly. It will definitely change your friendship and if he doesn't feel the same then it will ruin it. I would recommend trying out dating new people and experiment with someone new. Sign up for dating websites or go to a club and meet someone.

It sounds like you could use a little fun! Just know your limits! I had a blast in college- went out almost every night and was still able to get good grades because I knew when it was time to (for me) to play and when it was time to buckle down and get serious. The girl I hung out with most of the time freshman year ended up with a .4 GPA the first semester so she clearly did not know her limits.
Work hard/play hard. Enjoy your life! If you want to experiment with guys you absolutely should! College is a great place to meet new people- get out there! :)

Dear Alecz,

If I may give you some advice...
I want you to ask yourself a question. What do you want from Jason in the long run? Can you see yourself in a romantic relationship with him or not?

If so, you should act on your feelings, but dont think of it as an experiment but as love. A friendship that could grow into something more.

But if it's only an urge, an experiment, fysical, don't use your friends for that. There are a lot of people to experiment with without the risk of losing a great friend to talk to and is there for you in your times of need. Good friends are hard to find and to have forever. Cherish them.

I know from experience...sex isn't worth losing a friend over.