I know most of you are like myself and have watched many of the episodes several times. Are there any lines that make you laugh every time you hear them even though you know it's coming? {Phrasing}
In Diversity Hire after Archer comments that Conway Stern is good at witty rejoinders and Lana says "Well crawl on over there and blow him" I literally every time.
What y'all got?
Lana
"Holy ****, there really are nerve gas canisters up here. I thought that was just a joke."
Mallory
"How is that funny?"
[deleted]
The bomb scene always cracks me up and is probably my favourite scene in the whole show.
Most of the other lines I love have been covered and there are a lot of others to choose from. A recent one I always go back to is the sitter episode in season 6 (I believe) where Faruk asks Archer if he's strapped, then Archer just laughs and says "No homie, I'm not."
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Hard to pick, so many! But for some reason Archer saying "Night Shovelling" always makes me laugh. And the whole multiple episode "sploosh" thing, obviously.
shareAnd:
"There's no sink!"
My personal favourite.
"There's no sink!" is easily one of the best lines in the whole show.
Especially Ray's casual, "Try to remain calm, and just think about how, there's no sink in there".
That whole bit is worthy of a quote...
Archer: What is that?
Ray: Oh Yeah...
Archer: No.
Ray: Yeah...
Archer: No!
Ray: Not a bumblebee is it....
Archer: Nononono Ray...what do I do?
Ray: Well if you don't shut if off...
Archer: She'll know somebody was in here!
Ray: Soooo, you could wait for the batteries to die...
Archer: Ok, yeah, that's....
Ray: It sounds like there's about 4 big ass D-Cells in there!
Archer: Oh my god...
Ray: It's like a jackhammer!
Archer: Yeah it's pretty big...
Ray: Is it black??
Archer: What? No...it's a...
Ray: A slightly darker black??
Archer: NO! It's not any kind of black!
Ray: Racist...
Archer: Shut up! It's more of a.... aubergine...I guess you'd call that...?
Ray: Oh...still pretty hot!
Archer: Will you shut up!
Ray: Take a picture!
Archer: Shut up! Alright I'm going in...Oh man, I can't believe I'm doing this...
Ray: Try to think about something else...like how there's no sink in there...
Archer: So what if there's nooooOOH MY GOD!!!
Ray: Yeah....
Archer: THERE'S NO SINK!!!!
Archer: Primal scream and reaches in to turn it off Oh there's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that....Oh I touched my mother's dildo....
For me that beats the whole "let Blane die" thing from silicon valley.
shareRay and Archer always have the best exchanges! Hilarious bit from them both.
I think that one, and the one from Skytanic about skipping a step in disarming a bomb are the best in the entire series.
I don't remember the exact quote, but it's from one of the earlier episodes where Cheryl describes a hypothetical situation where a firefighter is giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and it devolves into a violent choke-sex monologue ending with something like, "and the last thing you experience before you die is a glob of drool dripping onto your popped-out eyeball." Cracks me the f- up every time.
I think I know precisely what I mean when I say it's a shpadoinkle day!
WOODHOUSE:
Sir, that stolen Lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face, and she says she can't go to hospital because she is quote 'Tripping balls'.
*****
ARCHER:
For a second there I thought you were crocodiles.
RAMON CALZADO:
Crocodiles? On a three wheeler?
ARCHER:
Right?! How scary would that be?
*****
MALLORY:
Why isn't there a metal briefcase full of bearer-bonds handcuffed to your drinking arm?!
ARCHER:
Uh, [Raises his glass] pretty sure you just answered your own question.
Excuse my candor I just felt my spleen slip out of what was once my anus.
share"You're black...ish"
"Ish?"
"Well what's the word for it Lana you freaked out when I said quadroon"
"Imagine that!"
"You imagine it!"
"You'll have to speak up I'm wearing a towel"
I can't seem to find the exact wording anywhere, but at the end of Jeu Monegasque, as the thugs are about to pull away with all of ISIS' computers, etc., one of them thanks Pam for the blowjobs, to which she says, "Holla! (unintelligible)."
shareI can't seem to find the exact wording anywhere, but at the end of Jeu Monegasque, as the thugs are about to pull away with all of ISIS' computers, etc., one of them thanks Pam for the blowjobs, to which she says, "Holla! (unintelligible)."
When Brett was killed during the FBI raid on ISIS headquarters in the Season 5 (Archer Vice) Premiere:
Archer [after seeing Brett shot between the eyes]:
"Well at least he died doing something he loved: Getting shot."