1000 things I learned from I am number 4

There's a difference between being abducted by an alien and...running away from home with said alien, while carrying his dog :?

I can't believe no one has said this...I nearly went Number Two when it happened.

All it takes to derail a super huge alien from delivering the death blow to another super huge alien is slipping in the wet shower floor.


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-:¦:-Oooh, sparkly!

205. Hiding in the Amazon = easy to find; hiding in suburbia = only able to be found if captured on film that is posted on the internet.

206. Given the choice, choose to go to highchool rather than, say, do whatever you want with your amazing alien powers.

207. After the love of your life’s new boyfriend has nearly ripped off your arm, call the cops on him, then become his new best friend.

208. Aliens have no concept of electricity in houses.

209. If you hear a noise outside your house during a rainstorm, it’s probably a shapeshifting creature called a chimera that will help you in your fight against bad aliens, unless you’re just a regular dude, in which case, ignore.

210. If someone sees a light in the ocean at night, they will automatically assume your leg is glowing, as opposed to thinking you dropped your phone or being freaked out by the possibility of jellyfish.

#34: Good aliens are beautiful aliens with style, bad aliens are ugly aliens...also with style.

This post made me nearly wet my pants, so funny.

As for going to the highschool to develop photos: totally unrealistic, but a lot of dreams of seeing a highschool blown up were fulfilled in this movie.

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456. Beagles are ignored and mostly looked on as annoyances.


457. Nerds fall down when you throw footballs at them.

458. H.S. girls look fresh as a daisy in the morning after running around with a bunch of aliens who are trying to kill each other all night.

459. If your hands start glowing while watching a film in class, run out of the room and hide in the nearest closet.

460. Nerds have mean step- fathers.

461. Bad aliens have a better sense of humour than good aliens.

462- When trying to hide your super powers you should always use your glowing palms as a flashlight.
463- Aliens automatically know how to trive cars, trucks, big rigs and use all kinds of computers.
464- When your tasked with defending someone from bad guys with guns, grendades, giant flying monsters, and gadgets, you need only one small knife.
465- Blue is the color of good, red and black are the color of bad.
466- When you go to a carnival you will be able to instantly pick out the only two people you know instantly and they will both instantly see you.
467- Hiding in high population density areas is far safer than hiding in the jungle or arctic.
468- UFO nerds are secretly ninjas.
469- Old broken cameras that over-expose and let extra light in are "artistic".
470- Alien dogs travel as small slow creatures and turn into larger faster ones to lay around and keep you company.
471- If you have super powers and are exposed no one, especially the jock who hates you or your girlfriend will freak out.
472- Alien bad guys prefer to drive around in all black vehicals like wannabe FBI rather than use the space ship they brought here.
473- the best strategy when you have to kill your prey in order is to do so as soon as you find them so the next target has time to run and hide.
474- Jocks are all dicks to all nerds and geeks and only care about sports.
475- The QB will always be the son of teh local Sheriff.
476- Blasts from a bad guys lazer rifle can go through one side of a locker but not two, which a bullet can.
477- When someone turns invisibe infront of you stop shooting so they can get really close.
478- large reptilian flying squirrels do not need height or flapping to get get airborn, they can just defy gravity.
479- When fighting Bad guys it is important to wait till one of you decided who fights who before disarming them with some well placed shots and fighting hand to hand.
480- Anytime anyone is knocked into the air they will do a flip.
481- Small knife beats big gun.
482- Despite everyone else turning to ash instantly large flying lizard squirrels will remain intacked long enough for you to land and roll to safety.
483- Though still hot 25 is not 16.
484- Monologing is bad.
485- If you have a gun and a knife use the knife as much as possible.
486- Blue fire beats red fire every time.
487- Hipster girls are dirt-proof
488- No matter how long it takes the police only show up when all the bad guys are dead.
489- Lorians do not cough, wheeze, squint or get red eyed when walking through smoke, they do however walk very slowly.
490- It is impossible to soliliquy without sounding like an utter douchebag.

If you wonder what God thinks of money look at who he gives it to

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Another:

492. Good guys drive Fords, usually Ford pickup trucks.