What we learned from 'Meteor: Path to Destruction'

What I learned from watching "Meteor: Path to Brain Cell Destruction"

1. There will always be movies like this disaster to sucker poor dumb slobs like me into watching them.

2. Veteran actors in the twilight of their careers should just shoot themselves and do everybody a favor.

3. Young actors in the dawn of their careers should stick with waitressing and dishwashing.

4. These types of films should come with a warning label like cigarettes are required to have.

5. I learned that "To be continued" says "You're really, really dumb if you watch Part 2"...if you play it backwards.

6. I also learned that I should have majored in astrophysics because I'm a lot smarter than that dimwitted lady scientist.

Microwave relay antennas can be used to boost cell phone signals.

High tech Microwave relays depend on a single old fashioned bar fuse.

Re-entry friction can be achieved while traveling at the speed of a blimp.

Visible nuclear detonations do NOT blind people who see them.

Nuclear missiles launched simultaneously (after a verbal countdown) from different hemispheres will arrive at the same target simultaneously.

Hospitals do not clearly label IV bags so doctors know what's in them.

Small hospitals in sunny Central California use large capacity high-pressure steam boilers connected to uninsulated pipes, which remain at full pressure days after a power failure and fire, and vent only when a human walks near them.


"Well, there it is."

We learned what we really already knew. NASA and the JPL combined, only have one scientist who is clearly incapable of doing anything other than coasting on the accomplishments of the only other scientist, who he fired out of jealousy. And even when he is clearly soiling his pants, nobody considers finding another scientist to help or double check his work.

A meteor that certainly would be moving at least 20,000 miles an hour, or 5.5 miles a second (relative to the earth), will still take over half an hour to hit AFTER it enters the upper atmosphere (90 to 120 miles from the ground). Or else it approached earth at less than 200 mi/hr and somehow didn't take 52 days to travel from the moon's orbit distance.

Don't forget that hitting cords inside drywall can cause a fire in a laundry basket 6 feet beside you.

We learned that Copernicus was wrong. The earth is not, in fact, traveling more than a million and a half miles per day along the path of its orbit, as the heliocentric theory would predict. No, it's sitting in one place so that the same fragmented asteroid can keep clobbering it repeatedly on successive days.

In the event of a meteor threatening life on Earth, there will only be one person in the entire world working on calculations to save the planet. And it will be an astronomer's assistant in her 20s. No eminent physicists or astronomers from around the world, no, just a grad student.

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