things I've learned from Funny Games

Practicing golf with psychos is cheating
if a young man wearing white gloves knocks on your door and asks for eggs get the hell outta there pronto.
If you have a holiday home on a lake, psychos wearing white gloves will go from house to house til they get eggs.
If Paul smashes your leg with a golf club its ok he's a med student he'll take a look at it for you.



in todays news paris hilton has now made it illegal to weigh no more than 108 pounds.

when 2 guys are terrorizing your family, no matter what
happens, never ever try to do anything to stop it,
just sit there and let them murder you and your family
one by one until they leave, which includes:

not trying to take the gun away from a killer before
he pulls the trigger, cause your leg hurts.

let them tie you and your wife up without struggling,
even after your son is dead.

don't scream like hell when you are not gagged and are on a
lake that lets sound travel for miles.

when you have the chance to get away, make sure
to come back to the scene, because that was working
so well the first go around, instead of going to
get help.

always let strange men into your house, and just because
you are in a remote location, never lock your doors, so
said strange men can just wander in anytime they feel
like it.

and lastly, always remain a total pussy and let
you loved ones be tortured, even though there is a very
good chance that 3 against 2 is better odds, especially
when they aren't carrying weapons and the desire to live
always over rules the want to kill.





http://www.facebook.com/mike.d.keith?ref=profile

Even if you own a big-ass fancy house in the country, under no circumstances whatsoever have a landline phone.

With regard to said landline phone, under no circumstances have cordless phones. It is much easier to carry around a cheap flip-top cell phone.

Under no circumstances allow your small son to have a cell phone of his own.

When you run off to get help, remember to get dressed first. Running down country lanes in a bra and panties may draw too much attention.

If you do remember to get dressed, wear a very strange looking woollen thing with huge armholes that expose your bra for every psycho to see.

Before you jump out of the kitchen window to escape, be sure to climb back in first to slobber kisses all over your wimpy husband's face.

Never go on a sailboat with someone after he has tied you up.

If you have a 12 year old kid, on the way to your vacation house, be sure to play an ahole aria guessing game to thoughtfully keep him entertained.

"So, what would you like to see on your honeymoon, Mrs. Cord?" "Lots of lovely ceilings."

Two un-announced guys at your gated cottage wearing gloves in summer - SHOULD CAUSE SOME CONCERN!

If you're going to murder a family, it's common knowledge that they will only have 1 cell phone to reach the police, and that getting it wet will eliminate that possibility 100%.

I hate it when women cry through their nose.

I wonder how many actors turned down the role of being the pussy-Dad.

All you need is a golf club to dominate a situation and make people do whatever you want in life.