Boy! This in one fantastic thread!
Keep it up people!
Brought back a lot of old memories.......no, nightmares!
I escaped the "friend zone" over 40 years ago and never looked back. Now in my old age, I see younger guys, friends, co-workers, in the "friend zone" and I just want to walk over and bitch slap the hell out of them. But, sitting them down and talking will do no good. They will just have to learn the hard way.
A FEW TIPS:
1.Best advice is to always be direct. Let them know UP FRONT that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you want to be friends. "I don't want to bend my "friends" over the dining room table" usually works. If she walks, she walks. Life goes on, and so do you. And for God's sake don't EVER let her talk about her boyfriend(s) or problems in your presence. You become a sounding board for all the misery and negative in her life, they she associates you WITH that misery and negative, and wants to keep you right where you are. That only makes you miserable and negative. Being an Intellectual Whore is the ninth pit of hell!
"Men and women can't be friends. The sex thing always gets in the way."..........WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
2.Re-inventing yourself rarely works when it comes to the former "friend," only to new people in your life. She will always remember the door mat (sorry....friend,) that she used to have. From the "EX" you will get something to the effect: "I really don't like what you've become, I liked the old you." Translation: "I liked the old situation where I was in total control and KNEW IT!"
Removing yourself for 6mos-yr, or even a lot longer, while you do a make-over can be fun
as long as you don't slide right back into WUSS mode at the mere sight of the "EX," like Ryan's character did. An aloof new you can attract, and being in the power position is simply great. Just remember, she will be attracted because you are no longer her fawning puppy dog, nothing more! And she will work overtime to remake/return you back to that happier.....for her.... point in time. You, of course (hopefully) will never allow that to happen, ever again!
"The power of a relationship lies with whoever cares less".....GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST
Bottom line, life's toooooooooooooooo short.
"Friend Zone," equals emotional draining and death.
DON'T GO THERE!
Let some other fool be her wussy-puppy.
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mohican321
15 years ago
If a girl wants to putt you in her "friend zone" it's her choice, but you have a choice also and that is not to be in that zone. Just keep her on a distance and don't loose your cool.
My story - I liked a girl in my class in high school, but when she started with the whole "let's talk about everything" I worked my way out of it with simply refusing to talk about "everything". I regularly made remarks in the lines "I don't believe in the whole man and women being best friends" (but in the nice humorous way). We talked and joked every day in school. After a couple of months, one day out of nowhere she sad my line: "I too don't believe in man and women being best friends thing". It was obvious that she was letting me know to go for it, she even asked me out (kind of), but... long story short... i woosed out, didn't go for it. We didn't live in the same town, and in the end that was my reason for not going for it (lousy reason, I know...). We stayed friends but after high school and going away to college we loosed touch, again, because I didn't want to be in her friend zone. After a year, she sent me an email, but I kinda blew her off again. Later I heard from her friend that she sad that was for the better.
Although I started writing this post feeling like a winner, now that I put all that out, it definitely doesn't look like I won. *beep*
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