But at least Noah was a drunk, so he had that going for him.
Actually there is a neat sordid story about what happened after the flood. The folks that lived then must've been reeeeaaallly bad if Noah was the best God could find!
Lets look at what happens. First, after saving all these animals, he promptly has to sacrifice some of them to God, because God likes the smell of burning flesh. Genesis 8:
20 Then Noah built an altar to the Lord and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it. 21 The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though[a] every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.
So saving 7 of some kinds had nothing to do with having more individual animals to help with the gene pool...those extra animals were to be killed as sacrifices.
So now God is promising...like the angry abusive father..."I'll never do that again." But he's sorry for cursing the ground, NOT for drowning the mass of humanity. What a guy!
Besides, he didn't destroy all living creatures, did he. More hyperbole. Why was God unable to inspire his folks to just write the truth? But it sure gives folks an easy out when OTHER things in the Bible don't say what they want them to say. We're simply not supposed to take the Bible literally.
But it gets even better. For those who don't think this whole thing is a made up fairy tale...
Genesis 9:
20 Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded[a] to plant a vineyard. 21 When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside. 23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s naked body. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father naked.
24 When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him, 25 he said,
“Cursed be Canaan!
The lowest of slaves
will he be to his brothers.”
Like I said, because he grows grapes, he gets drunk and lays around naked. And poor Ham saw him thus. I'd say that alone should have been punishment enough if punishment was warranted...the vision of his old shriveled father laying naked.
But, because Ham saw his father naked and told his brothers or because God only knows why, Noah decides to curse...his son. Not Ham, but his son. Now we have the basis for slavery right there in the Bible, mandated by the very righteous man who God thought was worthy of saving mankind! And, it conveniently (for those whose livelihood and fortune depended on slave labor) refers to slaves as cursed thus opening the way to treating them as less than human.
Exodus 21:
20 “Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, 21 but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property.
That slave person is your property! See what I mean...less than human.
As the church lady on SNL used to say..."Well, isn't that special."
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