Bumfromkorea's Translation of the Original Story

Today's saturday! She doesn't have any classes and neither do I... My plan for the day is to go to the library and study the whole day. That's right, I study... sometimes...

I went to school, got a place in the library, and opened my book...

And now I'm getting sleepy... T_T

I pledged to be a great person by opening the front door and going to the library and... falling asleep in less than 5 minutes... I was barely conscious. I tried to fight off sleep by drinking coffee, smoking, washed my face with cold water... and came back to my seat...

And ardently I... slept. Zzzzz

I don't know how long I slept, but my phone started to vibrate. I answered, barely awake. And of course, it was her...

"Hello?"

"Hey. I'm going to the University Street (literal translation. Think your local university, and the street right next to it filled with shops, coffee shops, etc.), so meet me there."

"I have to study today..."

"No... Do you want to die, or do you want to get there?"

"I'll get there..."

Suddenly, the silent library became noisy.

"What kind of an @$$hole answers phone in the library?"

"See, this is why I can't even study at the library."

In the drowsiness of my sleep, I answered the phone loudly in the middle of the library. I quickly got my bag packed... the book I was using as a pillow was drenched with my drool... disgusting... -_-;;

I got to the University street and she was waiting for me there. Lunch was a few minutes ago, and neither of us had anything to eat so... she said

"I'm hungry. What should we get?"

"Just whatever..."

"Let's go eat Jajangmyun (cannot translate... here's a picture for you guys though ^^: http://sfood.info/cuisine/nudle/p_11.htm The price range is about 3~5 bucks. It is a noodle with black bean sauce, kinda sweet, kinda salty. Considered a junk food and can get messy around your mouth if you're not careful). I'm suddenly craving for a Jajangmyun."

She wants jajangmyun... so we found a Chinese restaurant (note: not really chinese food... just called one for no apparent reason) and she ordered

"Can we get a double order of Jajangmyun and a single order?"

Well, that was sweet of her. She wanted me to get more so she ordered the double serving... the waitress gave me the double and gave her the single. But then, something feels wrong, and she tells me

"Hey, our orders are switched. The double one is mine."

"Wait... you get the double and I get the single?"

"That's right. Hurry up."

"Then... why didn't we get two doubles?"

So she eats the double and I eat the normal one. But I have my pride too. Before finishing mine, I ask the waitress

"I need another double here."

She doesn't let up "No, can we have two of those?"

So we're on our second bowl...

"Let's go." We shouted at the same time and started eating.

Somewhere in the middle of the second bowl, she says

"Hey, your first bowl was a single, so it's not fair. You have to get another one."

"Can I get Jjam Ppong (once again... spicy seafood noodle? ^^ here's a picture: http://image.ohmynews.com/down/images/1/ghsqnfok_291861_1%5B459530%5D.jpg) instead? I'm getting sick of Jajangmyun..."

Daikon pickles fly at me. So do onion pieces (note: both are usual side dishes with Jajangmyun)... you know, with that black sauce.

"No way! Ma'am, can we have another double?"

She ate 2 doubles and I had a single and a double... and now, there's another double in front of me... I picked up my chopsticks... The world has turned in that black Jajang sauce color... but like I said.. I have my pride..

I'm finishing up mine, and so is she.. I told her

"Hey... I ate three bowls... you have to eat one more single... for us to have eaten the same amount... ma'am, we need one more single..."

At this point, other customers have forgotten their orders in front of them. The owners aren't even working, but are too busy staring at us. And some delivery boy got the living crap beaten out of him by the owners after asking them if he could deliver later... even the chefs came out of the kitchen to watch us...

Everyone was looking at us... as if we were crazy...

I finished mine, but she still has one more to go...

You know how the teacher's giving out group punishment? And you're the first one to get hit, and you turn around and look at other kids behind you about to get hit.. it was just like that.

But... she finished... and said.

"We have to finish this..."

She ordered another double... and then we played the multiplication game (where you recite the multiplication table in a certain beat and song) for it... I'm an engineering major. Engineering! There's no way I can lose to her.

But... like I said... she's an econ major... damn it.

I managed to eat 2/3 of it... and we left the place.

"How much?"

"Let's see... 2 singles and 5 doubles... 20 bucks."

We ate... 20 dollars worth of Jajangmyun (think 20 dollars worth of Big Macs)

I can barely walk... the noodles are near my throat... if someone hit my stomach right now...

I cringe and looked at her...

She was writhing with pain....

We got in front of a Baskin Robins. She tells me.

"I can't walk anymore.. let's rest here for a second.

So we sat... collapsed near a telephone poll.. Then some guy passed by, coughing and then spitting thick, yellow mucous right next to us. We saw that... then... while holding the telephone poll...

we started to throw up.

That was around 3 pm... on saturday... meaning that the place was packed with people.

So, we were holding hands (lovely) and... threw up in front of them. We try to stop it, but we looked at the ... result... and... went at it again.

Everything is.... black. I was reminded of a Jajangmyun pizza for some reason. Some of the stuff splattered and got on my face... and on her face...

After a while, we're about to faint... and we stood up, shaking.

And we looked around... the sun looks like a daikon pickle. Everyone looks like delivery boys.

About 200 people made a half-circle with 10 m radius around us... and was watching us...

I took her hand and ran... and thought "I will never eat jajangmyun... EVER!"

And then I prayed that no one I knew was in the crowd...

I went back to school on Monday... but some guys in my major was talking in groups...

"So last Saturday, I went to the University street, right? You know that Baskin Robins? Some guy and a girl were throwing up in front of it in the middle of the day holding telephone polls. But I still have no idea what they ate... it was all black and... ugh. I thought 'are they from the mental hospital?'. I guess they were embarrassed and started to run, and their face was covered with that black stuff."

I thought I was having a heart attack...

Well, at least that guy didn't know it was me... thanks to the jajangmyun residue...

After that, asking me to go eat jajangmyun would mean termination of our friendship...

[My guess is this was partially incorporated in the taxi scene back from the high-school uniform --> club]

Ah, Saturday… Saturdays are always the best.

No school… I don’t have to wake up early and face the hangover… I can stay up all night surfing websites…

ALSO! You can express your… love to each other… all night long… hehehehe…

It was early in the morning, and I got a call from her.

“Her”: Hey… so what do you like?

Me: Um.. girls?

“Her”: Idiot… I meant, what do you like to eat?

Me: Yeah, I know. Girls (… I’m so sorry about this)

“Her”: Wanna die? Anyway, my parents won’t be home for two days, so come over and I’ll make you something.

Me: Really? You want me to come over? And you’re going to make me something?

“Her”: Yes! So tell me what you want to eat already before I change my mind.

She’s…. She’s actually doing something nice for me? Right? She is doing something nice for me, right?

She calls me over because she’s going to alone in the house for two days? What makes her think she’ll be safer with me over there?

I was invited to her house… this is my first time over there since I met her… I should groom myself a bit, right?

I went to a public bathhouse [note: lol… this does not carry the same implication as it does in United States. It is literally a place with several gigantic baths and showers where people go take baths.], and my face turned a several shades whiter. I wore my best underwear… glow-in-the-dark skull pattern… -_-;; It actually looks really cool when it’s dark… you know, with skulls glowing… I also borrowed a Chanel perfume from my little sister [Note:… yeah, I don’t know why he used his sister’s either…]

I arrived at Bupyeong station… she said she would come and get me when I call her, but I decided to buy a little present beforehand… I was invited, after all…

She came over in a cab and took me to her house…

I guessed that she was rich, but her house was pretty big… a giant front door… and a Shepherd the size of a lion started to go crazy and barked at me.

“Her”: That’s strange… Chacha (dog’s name) never barks at people, even to strangers… Are you thinking about something perverted?

Me: How would a dog know what I’m thinking about?! He’s just nervous because I’m new to him (smart dog…)

“Her”: But he never barks when my friends are over… that’s so strange…

How the hell did this dog caught on? Do you remember that scene from “There’s Something About Mary” where the main character fights with a dog, and… Well, just in case, I covered… myself with my hands…

I’d rather face a pair of scissors… -_-;

Once inside, she poured me a cup of juice and told me she was going to make lunch even though it’s kinda late. So I sat down on a sofa with absolutely nothing going through my mind.

“Hey! Lunch is ready! Hurry up!”

I could see the warm, comforting steam coming from her lunch… it’s ramen….

“… I thought you were going to make something special?”

“Yeah, it’s a special ramen. Looks good, right?”

“So you invited me all the way to your house to eat… ramen?”

Talk about a huge disappointment… ramen… But I think she noticed that I was severely disappointed because then she said something that really affected me deep down.

“Do you want to eat it, or wear it on your head?”

“I-I’ll eat it. Thank you so much! This looks really tasty!”

By the time I was finished, she promised to make something really special for dinner. Heh… that means she wants me to stay until dinnertime… maybe even afterwards?

We watched a movie [note: video, not DVD… lol remember, this story takes place in that ancient strange world where DVD was yet to be born] in the dark, with the curtains drawn… sitting on the same couch…

Somewhere in the middle, I decided that the movie was no good, and before I knew it I fell asleep… When I woke up, the TV was making a strange noise with gray squiggles going all over the screen. I guess the movie had ended…

She was sleeping on my right shoulder. I turned my head towards the right side.

Her head was right next to mine. I could smell the fragrance coming from her hair… It was nice…

I thought about waking her up… but she was sleeping so soundly that I decided to let her sleep… but my shoulder was starting to ache… and my arm began to feel numb… Holding her head lightly, I got my shoulder out of there and wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

She was still sleeping, with her head on my chest.

While watching her sleep, I thought… it had been two months since I’ve met her. Her wounds must have healed a lot by now… but she’s always beating me up, messing with me, putting me in trouble… but I think she’s depending on me as well…

She shifted around a bit, then woke up… then wiped her drool from her face.

My… shirt has something warm and slippery on as well…

She’s making dinner now… It smells wonderful… It felt as if we were the newlyweds. I went over to the kitchen and saw her busying herself over so many different things. I wanted to go behind her and give her a hug.

But we don’t have that kind of relationship yet… we’ve only held hands so far…

She made Soondobu Chigae [Spicy soft tofu stew. Mmm… I think I’ll make that for dinner. Picture reference: http://www.sangganews.com/board_file/bd_success/updir/200705/s_img/117990211762.jpg]… Only because I’ve said before that I liked Soondobu Chigae… We sat down together.

I took a spoonful and carefully brought it over… I put it in my mouth…

I almost spat it out. It was… beyond the point of salty and into bitterness. I began to cry.

“Aw… Don’t be so emotional about it… *blushes*”

“Y-yeah…. It’s… delicious… *sniffs*”

This was the first meal she made for me. How could I say it was horrible? Her disappointment? Screw that, she might just pour the whole thing down my throat.

I didn’t let her eat a teaspoon and ate the whole thing. I couldn’t stop crying… When I finished, I drank a 1.5 liter bottle of water in one gulf.

It was getting pretty dark…

Me: Hey, I’m gonna go home… Thanks for dinner…

“Her”: What? You’re going already? But I’ll be alone in the house…

Me: You’re in more danger with me… Make sure you lock all the doors and windows, Okay?

“Her”: Wait… but we have to do something tonight.

Do something??? Just the two of us??? There are some strange nuances of meanings in that sentence right there. An empty house… what would we be doing tonight? What do you think, we would be playing Monopoly? Hehehehe…

She’s bringing a huge stack of books… each book has post-its and highlights all over the place

“Hey, what’s all this?”

She’s also bringing a notebook.

“Type these for me.”

… The reason she really brought me over was to… use me as a typewriter all night long… I knew it was too good to be true.

I spent all night typing her notes and post-its and highlights… she brought be a juice then slept for an hour… then got me some fruits then slept for an hour… then got me some cookies… then slept for an hour…

But still, I don’t really mind… We don’t really love each other anyway… Rather, we try not to love each other… All I want now is for her to overcome her past and be able to love someone else again. That was my intention from the start anyway…

I know, this one wasn’t as fun as the others… but not every episode can be fun… right? She’s becoming more popular than me online… I’m kinda envious… heh…

(Translator's Note: Gigantic props to anthony for reminding me that I did this once. I completely forgot its existence in the crazy chaotic hurricane of school work. Judging from how this is my first summer off (as opposed to “off”) for a while, translations will continue at a faster pace. I promise :-)

Also, I hope you notice that the grammar is inconsistent in terms of present and past tense. This is due to the fact that... in the original work, the author does go back and forth a lot. The original work is an internet semi-novel/blogpost, so don't expect any formal writing anytime soon.

And just to be on the same page, this translation is not word-for-word. The humor, attitude, meaning, and the very spirit of the work would be lost if I did that. The cultural difference can also be jarring and sometimes downright confusing. In this very chapter, the girl's friend calls Gyun Woo cute when they meet him the first time. Contrary to the context of the word, it is a simple compliment as opposed to anything flirty, and it doesn't mean "Oh wow! That guy behind you is really cute!"... it literally means cute, like a cuddly baby chick. I include pictures of foods, places, and celebrities that may be referenced to help the process as well.)

*Riiiing* *Riiiing*

“Hello?”

“Hey, Gyunwoo. It's me. Pretty yourself up and come to the Bupyeong Station.”

“... Pretty myself up?”

“Yeah... I'm meeting up with couple of my friends today.”

“W-wait. Why am I going too when you're meeting with your friends?”

“Because... I promised to introduce you to them. So hurry, okay?”

The whole thing took place at the ??? coffee shop near the station. (T/N: the author probably bleeped the name of the place to avoid any possible legal ramification)

I can see her and her friends... five of them total... huh, there's a guy in the group as well. As soon as I got to the table, she began to speak.

Her: Hey, you came! Sit down... So, guys. This is the guy I was telling you about. His name is Gyun Woo.

Her Friends: Nice to meet you! You're pretty cute.

Gyun Woo: H-hello... (Ugh, when they say that I'm cute, it means I'm not much to look at... I was in the market long enough to understand euphemisms like that...)

The group consiststed of me, her, a couple, and two other girls... We ordered soon after we were introduced.

The couple ordered a diamond ice together (T/N: a sort of shaved ice with sweetened red kidney beans, fruits, rice cakes, and sweetener. Pic reference - http://www.videoman.co.kr/uploads/goods/bingsu.jpg)
, the two girls ordered coffee... I just wanted a coke, but she ordered a diamond ice for the both of us.

The couple in front of us is being unbearably affectionate with each other. It's not like they can't eat with their own spoons... but, despite the not so kind looks others were giving them, they were feeding each other in turn.

“Aw, Sweetie~”

At the same time, her and I were engaged in an epic battle for the entire content of the bowl.

No hands, just with spoons, and no saliva on the spoon.

Our hands moved beyond the speed of visibility.

“Hey! You took two rice cakes at once! Put one back right now!”

How the hell did she see that?! I made sure to hide the rice cake inside the red beans...

After leaving the coffee shop, the two girls left the group saying they had other stuff to do. I wasn't too sure if they just wanted to get out of there, but... Anyway, it was just the vomit-inducing couple and us, and after discussing what to do next, we all decided to go watch a movie.

The theater was practically empty, so the four of us sat next to each other with two popcorns.

The lights went out and the movie started... I glanced at the other couple...

The guy had his hand on the girl's shoulder, the girl had her hand on his waist, and they were holding each other's free hand. It was a bit nauseating to see. To make it worse, the girl was feeding the guy popcorn periodically. One for him, one for her. One for him, one for her. Ugh...

At the same time, her and I....

had our hands stuffed in the popcorn bag fighting yet another epic battle.

Both of our mouths were full of popcorn, making unusually large noise.

Our hands happened to go into the bag at the same time. We both pulled, and the popcorn went into the air, making a rather nice firework.

We then looked next to us and behind us to see people covered in popcorns glaring at the other couple.

We looked at each other and grinned sadistically. Heh heh heh....

After making her promise not to drink too much, we went to get something to drink. (You know why, right? Her + alcohol = disaster)

The couple in front of us became more and more... aggressive. They were in each others arm, kissing in public... (T/N: PDA is a bit controversial in South Korea)

Her and I... yeah, right. We were playing rock, paper, scissors where the winner got to slap the loser.

“Rock! Paper! Scissors!”

Her: Scissor

Me: Paper

Her: If you please...

SMACK!

I bet that even if we're together for eternity, we'd never get that nauseating with each other... not that our relationship is anything like that in the first place.

She does laugh a lot more than she used too... I feel proud whenever she laughs so brightly. I could also feel that the day I have to leave her was coming closer and closer...

I was walking with her to her house... I don't really like taking girls back to their house. To make it worse, it reminded of that one time with an ex-girlfriend who I dated before I went off to the military (Translator's Note: South Korea has mandatory military service that lasts about 2 years). Right after we broke up, I took her back to her house then too... T.T

But I don't have a choice this time... she might beat me up.

We had to switch subway lines at the City Hall station and go all the way to Bupyeong. It takes about an hour. It was a bit late at night, and we must have missed the evening rush.

It was a bit weird for both of us to fall asleep there, so we decided to play games on the way. There are about a million games you can play in the subway.... a lot... I'll list them off later.

The game we decided to play at the time involved a line drawn on the floor with a key or a coin. Whenever somebody steps over the line with left foot, she wins. If they step over with their right foot, I win.

The winner gets to hit the loser with a finger (T/N: Just like in the movie). I am very good at games involving 50/50 chance.

I never lose at Odd/Evens... ever (T/N: a game where one person shakes a random number of coins in his or her hands, and the other guesses whether the number of coins is odd or even. Winner takes all the coins). If anyone wants to challenge me, let me know. I need to pay my phone bills.

Ah ha! Three high school kids are coming our way!

I kept chanting over and over again... right foot... right foot... right foot... right... foot!

First kid steps over with his right foot. Yes!

Second kid also steps over with his right foot. Third kid... ugh, he steps over with his left foot. It was so close... I could've gotten a perfect victory.

Me: It's 2:1, so I'll just hit you once, okay?

Her: No way. You hit twice, and I'll hit once.

What's her deal? I would've taken the generous deal...

Me: Have it your way then. Here we go!

I first place my fingers over her forehead. With my middle finger, I bend it at a hard angle with my thumb... Yes, I am sadistic, so I take my sweet time and wait couple of seconds.

She begins to strain her eyes while holding up her shoulders... she gets tired of waiting, and opens her eyes.

This was my chance! As soon as she opened her eyes and relaxed her shoulders...

BAM!!!

Sound of a pumpkin cracking could be heard.

People within 5 meter radius started to stare at us. It was a success! It hurts the most when the person relaxes.... I told you I was sadistic.

Her: Fine, I won't hit mine so let's just call it quits.

She must've gotten really scared. Hah, I knew it... She then made a suggestion.

Her: This is unfair, both of us using fingers.

Me: What are you talking about? Let's just leave it as it is.

Her: No way... I get to slap you on the face instead.

Me: Then I'll slap too!

Her: How can you even think of slapping a girl on the face?

Me: What, girls can't get slapped but guys can?

Her: Of course! Want to test out the theory?

Me: ... You're right. Girls can't get slapped.

Now, if I lose, I get slapped... she is the law, after all...

Whoa... five soldiers on leave were coming to our side of the car. They were all privates or PFCs... and they were still very disciplined.

3 meter.... 2 meter... 1 meter... here... we... go!!!

“Left foot. Left foot. Left foot. Left foot. Left foot.” .... -_-;;

They're on leaves... and they still march on beat? Damn newbies...

Her: All right, here we go.

Me: Here what go?

Her: Come on..

Me: Hey! Look at that moon. Isn't it lovely? Do you think maybe rabbits really do live there? (T/N: Common East Asian fairy tale)

Her: ....

Me: Hey, do you remember when you learned the quadratic equation from school? Well-

Right on the bat, she hits me on the jaw. So that takes care of one hit. There were four left...

This was no joke. She was really going to slap me full force in front of all these people. Everyone was staring at us, realizing what was about to happen.

'Fine, just kill me...' I closed my eyes tightly. She lightly touched my left cheek. She was being generous and letting me off easily! She looked like an angel then.

She then lightly touched my right cheek. 3rd slap... she touched my left cheek lightly again. 4th slap...
She was so nice... and the last sla-

SMACK!

My left cheek was on fire. I literally saw stars... she let me relax with all the light touches and then went hard on the last one... for maximum effect...

Everyone that just stared at us is about to die... from stifling their laughter. The five soldiers from before started to snigger even though they didn't know what was going on. I was about to teach them a lesson as a former sergeant, but I left them alone, remembering how crappy life is during the military service...

My left cheek became all red and swollen.

The guy next to me suddenly stood up.. he knew exactly what kind of game we were playing. 'He's a guy,' I thought, 'he's going to take my side... right?'

He walked in opposite direction from our line for a while, then turned around and came toward us.

Right foot... right foot... right foot... My mouth became dry and I was stretching my neck beyond capacity. I felt like a deathrow inmate waiting to hear his name. I was shaking without noticing.

'Sir!! Please!' I shouted inside.

I suddenly stood up.

“YES!! Right foot! RIGHT FOOT!!!! WOOHOO!!!”

I felt like the king of the world. The guy turned around and grinned. 'Thank you so much!'

Me: All righty! Here we go!

Her: ... (ha! Losers can't say anything.)

I place my finger just like last time. The level of power behind this finger is going to be very, very different. My grudge and sorrow all carried by this single finger... The middle finger starts to shake from strains. The whole arm starts to shake.

Everyone around us has become very quiet, too intent on watching us. (I've never seen subway that quiet in my life...)

I was about to hit... but then,

Me: Hey. Call me oppa once and we'll call it quits. (T/N: Oppa is, traditionally, what girls call their older brother or older male friends. In modern context, this is a common title girls use for their boyfriends.)

She has never called me that once. It has always been 'Hey you', 'bastard', 'idiot', 'retard'... These are her pet names for me.

Her: ... Oppa...

Suddenly, I felt very warm inside. My cheek stopped hurting. It's pretty fun playing games in the subway...

She was calling me, even though it was really early in the morning... well, turned out it was noon already. During breaks or holidays... or semesters, I need at least 12 hours of sleep to function properly. I was on the internet until 6 am in the morning last night, so I only had 6 hours of sleep so far.

“Her”: What's wrong with you? Are you still sleeping in?

Me: Uh huh... *Yawn* ... Zzzzzz

“Her”: Right... you were on the internet all night again, huh?

Me: No, no... I was, uh... studying... -_-;;

“Her”: Yeah right... I'll give you a call around 6 P.M., so get some rest then come out, okay?

Me: Okay... *Yawn*

zzzz..zzzz..zzz...zzz.

*Riiiing!*

Me: Hello....

“Her”: Hey, Gyunwoo. It's me... Can you meet me at Jongroe (T/N: One of the more popular place to hang out and have fun in the middle of Seoul)?

Me: Okay... gimme 30 minutes... I'll just wash my face and be there.

I was in front of the Jongroe Bookstore. It was pretty crowded with people waiting for their friends, even for a Saturday night... I was looking for Her around...

Suddenly, someone came next to me and nudged my arm...

Sun Mi: Hey, Gyunwoo! Long time no see! How have you been?

Me: Hey, Sun Mi... yeah, long time no see... What're you doing here?

Sun Mi: What do you mean? I came to see you.

Me: Huh? What are you talking about?

Sun Mi: I just called you like 30 minutes ago, remember? To meet me at Jongroe?

Me: -_-;;

Yes... that's right... The call I got 30 minutes ago telling me to go to Jongroe was not from Her, but from Sun Mi, an old friend of mine.

I looked at my watch... It was 7 P.M... She said she'll call me at 6 PM... I took my phone out and saw this...:

You Have (5) Missed Calls

I was completely screwed... Oblivious to my realization, Sun Mi told me that she was hungry... She was going to buy dinner, and dragged me along...

I mean, I'm glad she wanted to have dinner and catch up, but why today of all days? And what the hell was wrong with me, confusing Sun Mi's voice with Her voice even if I was sleeping? It was pretty much clear that God had turned his back on me today.

But how can I refuse an old friend who wants to have dinner and catch up? So I followed Sun Mi to a restaurant... And my phone began to ring on the way... It was her, in all probability... what do I say to her?

Me: Yes? Hello?

“Her”: Hey! You little... *static* Where the hell are.. *static* *Beep* *Beep*

Oh goody... It was out of batteries... is this lucky, or am I screwed even more?

Sun Mi took me to a really nice restaurant... I don't usually go to this kind of place, but she wanted to eat here... but the waitress was from another country... I don't think she spoke any Korean, because she started to talk in English.

Waitress: Good evening. Are you ready to order? (T/N: in English)
Me & Sun Mi: -_-;;

Of course, it's easy to figure out what she was saying if you write it out like that... that's like English phrases you learn in middle school. Basically, she was saying 'Good evening, are you ready to order?', but to actually hear it in real life situation... it took me by surprise... Sun Mi and I both looked at each other, not knowing what to do...

This is embarrassing... I studied English for god knows how many years... But I tried my best...

Me: Oh!! My Gosh!!! ... -_-;; (T/N:... in English)

I guess the waitress was at a loss as to what to do as well... She went over to the counter, and this gave us a chance to discuss our predicament..

Me: Hey... what's with this place? You're the one who wanted to eat here... did you know they only use English?

Sun Mi: No... this is my first time too...

Me: You order it. I have no idea... I'll just have what you're having..

Sun Mi: Everyone says you're really good at English... you do it..

Me: No, that's just bs... Forget English, I barely speak Korean...

The waitress came back... damn it, they could probably tell we couldn't speak English, but still they're sticking with the same waitress...

Waitress: May I take your order? (T/N: in English)

Sun Mi... was looking away.

Me: Um... Um...

Waitress: Do you need a few more minutes to decide?

Me: Huh? What? Slow slow.. speak! Please... (T/N: in English... very broken English)

Sun Mi: Hey... let's just eat hamburger steaks.

Me: Hambag Steaki... two!! ok? (T/N: in English... very painful English)

Waitress: Yes....

Yes! Gyunwoo saves the day! It was awesome! ... But...

Waitress: Would you like any soup or salad?

Me: T.T

Dinner was turning out to be a real challenge... Just give us two hamburger steaks... what now...

Me: Speak slow please... (T/N: english)

Huh... I think she's asking us whether we would like soup or salad as well..

Me: No thank you...

Whew! At last... I was drenched in sweat... Even though it was a middle school level English, but an actual conversation can be... confusing.

Our... well, my efforts led to us getting the hamburger steaks... It was actually really good. Then, when we were finished, the waitress came back... We were hoping it was just to get the dishes out of the way, but... No... she couldn't just take the dishes away, could she?

Waitress: We have a wide assortment of desserts. (T/N: english)

What... What did she just say? Luckily, I caught the word “dessert” at the end of the sentence, so we just took a guess that she was asking about desserts.

I asked Sun Mi if she wanted anything... Sun Mi wanted coke, and I wanted coffee! Hah! I can take care of this one... Coffee and coke...
Me: I would like a cup of coffee and (points at Sun Mi) coke (T/N: English)

Haha... Mother, I think Gyunwoo is ready for a transfer to an American university!

So we were enjoying our hard-earned coffee and coke when... I remembered something very, very unpleasant... Her calls...

Because of the trouble with the waitress... I had completely forgotten about her calls... The sky was falling... the coffee tasted like poison...

I tried to call her, but the batteries were still out. Sun Mi offered her cell, but I chose to use the public phone instead... there was no need to offend Sun Mi by taking a call in front of her...

I pressed her phone number one by one... my fingers were shaking...

Her: Hello...

Me: Hey... um... It's me-

Her: You're DEAD!!! Where are you?!

Me: You see... what happened was...

Her: Shut up! Where are you?!!

Me: Jongroe...

Her: Jongroe? What're you doing there? Why haven't you called back? Why were your phone off? And what are you doing in Jongroe?!

Me: Oh... um... my cell doesn't have any batteries... where are you?

Her: Shinchon (T/N: Another popular place to hang out in Seoul). Get over here in 30 minutes!

Yeah, right. If I go near her when she's this angry, I'll be beaten to death.

Me: Today's not a good day... sorry... there was... uh... there's something I have to take care of.. Sorry..

Her: Fine. Do whatever you want. I'm with a guy right now, so if you don't want to come, don't come.

Hah... she's trying to make me jealous. I'm with a girl too, you know... hehehe.... -_-;;

If I fall for that and go there, she'll beat the crap out of me. It's not like we're actually dating... and it's not like we ever said that we like each other... But it still kinda hurts...

But... I don't feel guilty at all...

Even if it kinda hurts inside, preserving my life is much more important. So I told her that I was sorry and that I can't make it that night and hung up.
But... That wasn't the end... the next day...

Yep. There was no way it would've ended like that... The next day... it was Sunday. She called me in the morning... and I was sleeping, of course... To be honest, isn't sleeping in on Sundays a tradition?

It's a sacred tradition in our country, and to even imply that I should violate it... It's the end times, I tell you...

She called me and told me to come out... I could tell from her voice that she was still angry... To be fair, I kinda blew her off last night... even I would've been upset.

I was really nervous that day. I told myself 'Just be really careful... Don't talk back to her or confront her... just become a Yes-Man for today...' as I went to the place she wanted me to go to. Poor me. T.T

It was a small cafe in Shinchon. Back in 94 or 95, internet social groups would meet in places like these, but I haven't been to one since... it changed a lot since... it was really cozy back then (T/N: He's referring to the mysterious, mythical times where internet browsers did not exist yet... it's not a facebook group or anything like that).

She was already there waiting for me. Shinchon was pretty close to where I lived and she lived in Bupyong... so I guess I was being sluggish.

I approached her, but she didn't say anything... She must be really angry... I sat down, but she didn't even look at me... She was just looking at an empty space, and I had no idea what she was thinking... She wasn't her usual self.

Her usual self would have involved a water cup to the face along with a nice double side kicks... I would've preferred that, actually... This made me even more nervous... It felt like a scene in Misery...

Without saying anything, we drank our coffees. She then stood up, and I followed her. I paid for the coffees... you know, out of guilt.

I was getting hungry... it was a little past lunchtime... I took her to lunch, but she still wasn't saying anything...

So far, all we've said to each other was “Hey, I'm here.” and “I'm hungry... let's go eat something”. And I was the only one speaking.

After lunch, there weren't anything to do... Then she finally said something...

“Let's go watch a video.” (T/N: A Video Room is like a private theater with a projection, surround sound, a comfortable couch, and a very private setting. Typically, it is used by couples for... well, when they need privacy.)

I've never been to a Video Room with her before... This woman was going to take me to a dark place and beat me to death in private... I am really screwed now...

I don't even remember what movie we were going to watch... she just picked one. Then we went to the room... I prayed... that there were some windows around, and that someone would be able to see something if she decided to kill me... and hopefully save me...

But... the room we got was completely isolated from the outside... no one could see what was going on inside... crap...

We sat next to each other as the movie started, but she still didn't say anything. It was driving me insane... I couldn't even tell what the movie was about... I just looked at her hands... well, her soon-to-be-fists that will eventually come flying towards my face... so I prepared myself to block anything.

The movie was over... and she still hasn't said a thing. I kept looking at her during the movies, and it didn't look like she was watching the movie either. She looked... really out of it.

She then said her second sentence of the day.

“Let's go drink...”

Drink... While I was meeting her, I promised myself something...: 'Hell would freeze over before I drink with you or eat Jajangmyun (T/N: see ch. 9) with you'.

But I couldn't help it... I already told myself to do anything she wants today... So we went to a pub and ordered 2 pints of beer and a fruit salad...

A pint is... exactly the amount of alcohol that will cause Her to pick fights with strangers...

I tried to drink mine really quickly, then drink hers so that she won't get any alcohol in her system... this was the only way for me to survive tonight...

What will I do if she gets drunk and pick fights with someone huge?

But... she drank hers in two gulps... and ordered another pint... while I was able to take two sips.

I was getting really curious... this wasn't about what I did yesterday at all...

With this much alcohol in her... typically she would have already yelled at one of the customers, “Why the hell are you eating snails for? Eat something else!”

But she was really quiet... she was about to drink her second pint, but I stopped her.

Me: Hey, hold on a minute... What's wrong?

Her: What? Just leave me alone...

Me: If you go unconscious again, I'm just going to leave you on the floor.

Her: Do whatever you want...

Me: Something's obviously wrong. What's up? What happened? I'm really sorry about yesterday... Wait a minute... Is it... “That” day today?

A fork flew straight towards me... like those bullets in the Matrix.

Despite me trying to stop her, she drank her second pint... three gulps this time.

Then she picked up the fork she threw at me and picked up a slice of apple from the fruit salad... then fell asleep on the table. -_-;; I'm not even surprised by something like this anymore.. It was to be expected.

And of course, she couldn't fall asleep quietly... she made a big crashing noise as her head banged against the table.

People looking? Oh yeah, they were staring at us, but I was used to it by now. Remember, we're the people who threw up in front of the audience of 200 people. (See chapter 9)

We haven't really touched the fruit salad... and I only had two sips of my beer... and it hasn't even been 30 minutes since we arrived at the pub... But what was I supposed to do, finish my drinks and eat the salad with her unconscious in front of me?

I took care of the bill, picked up her bag and mine... and was about to carry her, but decided to help her up instead.

I think I'm qualified by now to write a thesis paper on the most effective ways to transport an unconscious drunk.

Supporting mode, piggyback mode, carrying mode... dragging on the floor mode...

We got out to the Shinchon streets, but the sun was still out. It was summer, so the daytime was still pretty stretched out...

She was passed out drunk... where should I take her? You think... really?

Heh heh heh heh... perverts...

Well, it wouldn't be the first time if I took her to a motel... too bad we weren't in Bupyung... that motel owner would probably give us a warm welcome...

But, like I've already said numerous times, nothing happened between us.

And this time we didn't go to a motel... we went back to the video room. How could I go there twice in one day? ... Hey, why not? I helped her sit down on a chair and picked out a movie.

Me: Say, which one of these movies are the longest?

Owner: -_-;;

Me: ^^;

The owner picked out some weird Buddhist movie that ran for about two and a half hours for us.

I sat her down... well, lay her down on the couch.

I took a look at her... she was wearing a slightly bleached jean and a tight white t-shirt... she wasn't wearing much make up, but her cheeks were bright red, probably from the alcohol... her eyes were closed, and her eyelashes were noticeably long and pretty...

But, above all, I was mostly staring at her breasts... -_-;; (...I promise this isn't an erotic novel)

A completely closed off space... she was sleeping besides me in a dark place...

.....

To be continued....

She was sleeping... well, not just sleeping, but unconscious after having too much to drink... I put her on the couch, but she wasn't moving an inch.

I thought to myself

'What the hell.. she doesn't think of me as a guy or something?'

Well, this wasn't the first time she went unconscious from drinking in front of me... and then there's the beatings...

It kinda hurt my pride... ha, what am I saying, pride? Objectively speaking, there was a very pretty girl, who seems to be dependent on you, and she was sleeping in front you while looking really cute.

... You can wipe off that drool now... ugh...

Any guys here who wouldn't think about kissing here? Anyone? Of course not... and I'm a guy too, after all. So, when I saw her sleeping, it kinda got to me as well.

But I can't just kiss her when she's drunk. I have my morals and pride... Even if it means getting slapped, you should kiss a girl when she's awake and normal.

But! That would be if I was with a normal girl. With her, if I try to kiss her while she was fully awake... I...

I won't put it in details.... (she censored this part out, see... and I almost got killed in the process too...)

In any case... I thought 'Fine. Even if it was stealing a kiss...' and sat down... well, laid, next to her on the couch... The video room was pretty good, the couch was almost a bed- oh...

I was facing her... my heart was beating very fast... I could feel my logical side going numb... but I kept looking at her. You know, even couples don't usually take time to look each other in the face for even 10 minutes...

And we weren't really going out in the first place, so I never had the chance to really take a look at her.. I thought, 'She's really pretty.'

If I kiss her now... I felt like I would be punished greatly for it.

But it was a little sad too.. . What kind of person would hurt someone so pretty and lovely and... slightly off like this? I got a bit angry.

Images of her suffering and her sadness... I haven't really written much about that side of her, but all those images began to flash before my eyes...

For no reason at all, my heart felt heavy... I wish I had been some sort of strength for her, but... I'm not so confident as to whether I have been at all.

In any case, we were predetermined to be separated in the near future...

When she is able to love someone again... and find someone to love again... I'll leave her side without saying anything... So I wish... I earnestly wish that I don't fall in love with her...

And I also pray... that I am not the person she'll fall in love with...

When I was thinking this, I felt like I wronged her, even though I haven't done anything.. Hehe...

I went closer to her.. there was only a small space between her lips and mine...

I could feel her breathe... it was very warm..

Then, she moved around a little and...

BURRRP!

... The smell of alcohol reeked from her breath...

I almost fainted from the smell...

I quickly took out a notebook from my bag and started fanning away the smell.

After I averted that crisis, I just sat down and watched the movie. I was being a jerk after all... the heavens must have punished me for it... or, it was her body's self-defense mechanism.

A monk was chanting in the movie... And I began to fall asleep... I turned towards her and saw her again, which chased away any drowsiness I felt before.

Her red face looked bright and pale from the lights of the screen... I was surprised... she was already pale to begin with, and with the lights...

I sat up and brushed her hair aside from her forehead. Her forehead was pretty too.

I got closer. Slowly, and a bit by bit...

My eyes and her closed eyes met... our noses were almost touching each other... and our lips were apart by...

And I stayed like that for about a minute... I closed my eyes as well...

Then, I raised my head... and kissed her forehead.

She moved around a bit, and I quickly went back and pretended to watch the movie. She nudged me and said,

Her: Hey... I'm really thirsty... and my head really hurts...

Me: Well, who told you to drink like that? ... Idiot... (-_-;;)

Her: Can I get some water, please?

So I went out to get some water... I didn't get caught! Yes!

I must be a prince in a fairy tale or something. My kiss on her forehead woke her up. Right?

Maybe I should kiss any sleeping girl... Wake up, women of Korea!!! Hahaha!!! .... -_-;;

After drinking some water, she began to talk...

She was waiting for me at Shinchon when she, by pure coincidence, ran into Him.

He wanted to talk a bit... she didn't want to, but I wasn't answering my phone (batteries...), and He was really desperate... so she agreed only if it was for a little bit.

I don't know what He and She talked about... She didn't tell me, and I didn't ask... But I could guess rather accurately.

He must have asked Her to start over with their relationship...

That's when she called me, and I was too concerned with that English speaking waitress... I should've just ignored everything and ran to her. I started to regret my choice...

I was just listening to her speak... It was her choice, after all... Not some cheesy choice like one between me and Him... but what to do about Him and Her... it was her decision and hers only.

I know... that He truly loved Her, and She really loved Him as well... and that She was hurt as much as She had loved Him.

And that my purpose in respect to Her was to help treat her wounds...

And I could tell... that she was wavering in her resolve... and that she was really confused as to what to do.

Even if she decided to renew her relationship with Him, I won't do anything to stop her....
If she is hurt by her chance encounter with Him, I'll be there to tend to her pain...

That's the extent of what I can do for her...

I thought being with her for the past two to three months had helped her a lot... I was a bit angry at Her for letting a single meeting with Him affect her so much, but...

I only wish that her choice is the right one... and that she won't have any regrets.

After she ran into the person she was in love with before, I stopped calling her... I didn't answer her calls, and even when she asked me to go somewhere with her, I told her I was too busy. Even when she said “Are you going to die, or are you going to come out?”, I didn't go...

Yes, I have finally gone insane and now have a death wish...

No, not quite. The reason I was avoiding her was...

Because I didn't want to influence her decision...

But that day, she called me...

Her: What's wrong with you, lately?

Me: Huh? What do you mean?

Her: You don't come out when I ask you to... and you're not really answering your phone... like you're mad or something.

Me: Oh, I'm just busy and tired lately...

Her: What about today?

Me: Yeah... I'm too busy... and I promised someone to go somewhere...

Her: Can't you delay it? Do you have to go there?

That call was different from others... Her voice on the phone was different... It felt like there was something different... even her way of speaking was different from usual..

I could tell from her voice that...

She was ready to make her decision.

Like I said before, it wasn't a choice between her ex-boyfriend and me... but whether to start her relationship with her ex or not...

My meaning and purpose in all this was simply whether her heart has healed enough, or if she needs me to be around a bit more...

I had thought that the outcome of her decision was irrelevant to me... I thought I wouldn't be hurt either way...

In order to see her... well, to be more accurate, I wanted to see the fully healed Her... so I canceled everything else and went to the place she asked me to go to.

Sure enough... there was another person with her. Another guy... The person who she was in love with before... This was the first time I saw this person.

Yeah... he was good-looking. He looked like a nice person, and was dressed very well. He looked rich too, the kind of guy that's really popular with girls.

He was really different from me, who was dirt poor, plain-looking, barely knew what “manners” meant, and wearing whatever I found in the dryers... It's a secret but... I've been known to wear the same underwear for three straight days when I feel really lazy...

She introduced us to each other..

“This is my friend, Gyunwoo...”

Yeah... I was her friend... but for some reason, I could only hear the word 'friend'. Friend... Friend... The word 'friend', for some reason, began to dig painfully into my heart. She and I were friends...

“And this is... um... OOO.” (T/N: Name censored by the author, for obvious reasons)

I guess she couldn't find the correct title for him. She just told me his name... To her, He was... he wasn't a friend, at least...

I ordered coffee... and he ordered coffee... and she ordered a coke.

Something is strange though... I was really surprised to see her ordering a coke. Coke... she only orders that when she is really upset about something.

But He, who have known her for so long... who have loved her once, didn't seem to know that about her... He was smiling... I thought, 'what's he smiling about, anyway?'

I took a closer look at her. She was laughing, but something was different. As if she was nervous about something... It's not too surprising, actually...

She was at the same table with her ex and someone who she was seeing (though not going out with). Any girl would be uncomfortable in such setting... but she's the one who arranged this meeting... (I will elaborate on why she did this later)

I didn't know then. Actually, I thought, 'she's finally going back to this person... and she just wanted to thank me for everything...'

But I was stoic about it... It's the result of my utmost effort to not to fall in love with her... my logical side had won against my emotion.

I didn't say anything... It was a rather uncomfortable meeting, and I was meeting a stranger for the first time, no less... I had nothing to say.

When she asked me something, she and I talked while he drank his coffee...

And when she asked him something, they talked while I drank my coffee...

And when there's an awkward silence, she drank her coke.

She got up and said, “Let's go... and get something to drink.”

Even if she gets drunk and pass out or pick a fight with strangers, it has nothing to do with me now. Because He was there...

And then, we all went to a very, very quiet pub for a drink...