Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey *beep* balls. Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer. Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey *beep* balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got Replica written down the side of your gun... [Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which indeed has REPLICA etched on the side; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at the sides of their guns] Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I've got Desert Eagle point five O... [Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table] Bullet Tooth Tony: Written down the side of mine... [They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has DESERT EAGLE .50 etched on the side] Bullet Tooth Tony: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... **** off!
Turkish: Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way? A car's nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, 'cause you're too ****in' scared to think - you just freeze and pull a stupid face. But the pikey didn't. Why? Because he had plans of running the car over.
Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?
Tommy: Who took the jam outta your doughnut? Turkish: You took the ****ing jam outta my doughnut, Tommy. You did.
Errol: Are you Turkish? Turkish: Well I'm not ****in' Greek now, am I?
Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot? Tyrone: It's too tight. Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo ****ing jet in that
Sol: What the **** is that? Vinny: Heh heh. This is a shotgun, Sol. Sol: It's a ****ing anti-aircraft gun, Vincent. Vinny: Well I wanna raise some pulses, don't I? Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.
Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times.
All my favourite Brick Top quotes got edited into a youtube video called "Snatch Wars". I highly recommend watching it as it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on You Tube. Cheers.
"There's nothing wrong with it Tommy, it's tip top, I just don't like the colour."
"Which it will be ready when it's READY!" Preserved Killick, Master and Commander
I think my favorite quote from the entire movie has got to be the robbery of the bookies:
"Why are we stopped here for? What's a matter with that space over there?" "It's too tight." "Too tight? You could land a jumbo-f$#@#ing-jet in there!" "Leave him alone, he's a natural. Ain't you Tyrone?" "'Course I am." "A natural f&#$ing idiot! Tyrone, what have you done?" "Yeah, Tyrone, what have you done?" "Look, hassle me, now you see what happens!" "No, don't move it now otherwise people will see the damage! What'd you do that for?" "I didn't see it there!" "It's a four ton truck Tyrone! It's not as though it's a packet of f&$%ing peanuts is it?" "It was a funny angle!" "It's behind you Tyrone! Whenever you reverse things come from behind you!"
I'm a mushroom cloud layin' mother&$#@er, mother@#$@er!
There are so many classic lines in this movie it is hard to pick just one. I agree with all of the lines posted so far. No matter how many times I watch this movie, I can't help laugh my ass of like the first time.
Anyone who doesn't think Guy Ritchie is a genius should watch this movie over again.
i agree about those three stooges. i was nearly in tears the scene when the driver was trying to get out of the car, the time it took him, the look of disbelief from the one in the back seat - when he finally asks the question about what does he get away from, i nearly fell of my chair LOL
if it wasn't for my horse, i wouldn't have spent that year in college
Have to give it to every conversation between Sol, Vince and Tyrone. They are just failing miserably at everything they do in this movie - without exception everything.
But it's really the one-liners that make this movie so great, regardless of character.
"Need to have a *beep*
"It's not like he's a fakkin set of car keys, now is it?"
And you've gotta love the narration. It's almost as good as in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
"Tommy - the tit - is praying. And if he isn't, he fakkin should be."
"All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last." - Marcel Proust
Yeah, it's a bit obscure. Usually such a run in as, "in the words of the Lord" or " in the words of the Virgin Mary" qould be followed by a quote from the bible but in comedy it's often followed by a line like "f@ck off" or "Who gives a f@ck" in this case it just happens to be the rather mild but unconnected, "come again" which is a rather English expression and unlikely to appear in the bible.
"Which it will be ready when it's READY!" Preserved Killick, Master and Commander
I loved the accent of Benicio Del Toro... It was just so funny... But for me, the best lines are in the dialogue between Tony and Sal, Vincent and Tyrone. It was just brilliant. There is also one line from Turkish to Tommy that I loved:
"Why do you need a gun, Tommy?" "For protection!" "For protection from what, Tommy? Ze Germans?"