Well, I cant join you there. I immediately suspected the gay Father. Why? Because just moments previously he had come on to Lester and was rejected. What was his name - I'm going to guess (not it looking it up) - Col. Fitts. Anyway, as you can see thru the movie, Col. Fitts detests the fact that he is gay. Plus, he's spent a lifetime covering it up. He's even worried his son might be gay. You take this into account (the cat is out of the bag), plus the fact he had all that weaponry - he was my immediate suspect.
I cant remember what I thought of Lester's wife at the time. Other than she was a complete phony. But looking back now, yeah, we are on the same page there. It's hypothesis but I agree - she may have scared him off, but I don't think she had it in her to kill him.
But again, when I originally saw the movie - (probably around 2000, VHS tape) - I thought Fitts had killed Lester.
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