When you impulsively decide to rob the diner your having breakfast in make sure there are no guys dressed like a couple of dorks, who attend volley ball games for they very well might be seasoned hitmen
While you a being robbed if you happen to get the drop on the robber do not ask him and his girlfriend to get on the ground so they can be restrained, but instead get all philosophical and start quoting scripture then give the robber all the money in your wallet before telling him and his girlfriend to go.
If your stupid girlfriend leaves your treasured watch at your old apartment and there are hitmen searching for you, it might not be the best idea to go back for the watch, but if absolutely necessary then go back for it, but when you find it don't bolt the fuck out of there immediately, but instead just kick back and throw a couple pop tarts in the toaster
If you rip off a ruthless mobster who is prepared to scourge the earth for you, make sure to immediately travel to a place your family has roots in like Knoxville Tennessee. No reason at all to think he wouldn't search for you there.
When an erratic dude jump out of a bathroom with a 44 magnum and unloads it on you realize that it was a fucking miracle and quit the business otherwise you might end up dead on a toilet somewhere
When you are going to bathroom don't bother bringing your machine gun with you just leave it lying around the kitchen. What's the worse that could happen?
Rednecks who own pawn shops in Los Angeles are gay butt buds, who like to keep retarded gay sex slaves, and rape straight black men up the ass
Jimmy greatly values the linens given to him by his beloved Uncle Conrad and Aunt Ginny who aren't with us anymore. Don't expect him to sell out so easy by pulling out a huge wad of cash, and telling him about your awesome oak bedroom set, while offering to make him an oak man to
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