OK, I feel it's time to have a "Things I Learned From" thread on this board. I'll kick off:
1. There is never anybody upstairs in a bar
2. If you've got the balls, Ritchie'll give you the bread
3. Gino is fair game
4. Never complain about losing some of your teeth, or you'll lose the rest
* "Scissors sharpener" used to be a real job, but not anymore.
* In America, the son of a poor immigrant scissors sharpener can grow up to be a rich and untalented movie star.
* Kicking a bar stool out from underneath someone who's sitting on it is an impressive martial arts technique that merits being shown in slow-motion.
* In Brooklyn, the cops have to be ready for anything, which is why Gino keeps a loaded shotgun in his ex-wife's apartment.
* Steven Seagal hits people so hard that when they reel backwards into a wall, the wall itself shakes in terror. (watch that last scene with the tattooed guy again)
* Crack gives you superhuman stamina.
* Watching the good guy beat the hell out of the bad guy without receiving even a single punch himself is just as dramatic and exciting as seeing a fight where the bad guy can hold his own and the hero is actually in danger.
* In Brooklyn, a cop can break into someone's house without a warrant, shoot up the place (maiming and killing several people), toss away his gun so that he can beat his defenseless main antagonist half to death, summarily execute him on the spot, and not face any legal repercussions afterwards.
* Some people just shouldn't wear berets, ever.
1. Chaz the Chair has been jerkin' the gherkin since 1969.
2. John Leguizamo used to be REALLY desperate for acting work.
3. Just Shake the Firm.
4. Junior Soprano was Richie's father.
5. 240.25 means prostitution, honey.
#1 It is no probleme to shot a guys leg of wiyh a shotgun from a 5-10 meters distance
#2 If your criminal you can just shot guys at the street
#3 Cops defends pregnant hockers
#4 When Broklynn cops fight criminals they waith for their turn
#5 If you have a serious brain damage you can just become an actin hero
No, worse! Human! Human!
I learned that club soda is expensive.
Even though bad guys don't like you, they'll still take you for pork chops.
Steven Segal doesn't want any radioactive stuff in the dog food
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AND THE NUMBER ONE THING I LEARNED FROM OUT FOR JUSTICE IS:
shoot, now i forgot...
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I still can't remember the #1 thing I learned, but I just remembered #8, which was how to say in italian "Please don't kill my son."
share1 - Once upon a time, Seagal got along with the mafia. :)
2 - After having insulted a DON, tell his right-hand a cute POINTLESS story about a guy in a trunk and all will be forgiven.
3 - Once upon a time, it made sense to have (the otherwise cool) William Forsythe in a MARTIAL ARTS FINAL SHOWDOWN!!!!
4 - If a "crackhead criminal friend with a cop on his tail" drops by your shop and asks you to kill said cop IN BROAD DAYLIGHT FOR EVERYONE TO SEE THROUGH THE VERY PUBLIC WINDOWS OF SAID SHOP, you will do so. And get your ass kicked.
5 - Sometimes it is better to stay the *beep* away from "montages".
6 - Seagal can pull off being a legit italian from Brooklyn.
A sixpack of soda costs you six dead Washington's
Little dogs get named Corragio because they survive being thrown out of a car
Rika never says no to Ritchie
Bochi is a *beep* who should shut up about the *beep* mouse
We should thank God that The French Connection brought the bad ass cop to cinema, otherwise we'd never have masterpieces like Out For Justice
Guys in wheelchairs are good for target practice.
You can use a switchblade to pick a lock in two seconds.
Don't be the person who pisses off Steven Seagal, it will be detrimental to your health.
Italian siblings look nothing alike, the Madano family.
for a good jerk off insult look at Out for Justice lol
Carlo Rizzi is still screwing around with the mob after 19 years
I'd love to bang Gina Gershon, and I'm sure I'm not alone
Steven Seagal combs his hair like a girl
1. Crooked cops keep photos of themselves cheating on their wives with big-tittied hookers and large bags of cocaine for all to find in the bottom drawer of their desk at the police station.
2. Bobby Lupo wasn't really worth avenging. ( but hey, he was his partner, so all prior indiscretions are forgiven.)
3. Gina Gershon is a bargain. For a mere $10 she will give you sexual intercourse.
4. As long as you grew up with them as your friends you can say anything you want to high ranking members of the New York mafia without fear of retribution.
5. Steven Seagal's childhood anecdotes are pointless.
6. If you enter your estranged wife's home on the first floor, when you throw someone out the window he will magically fall from the 2nd story, which doesn't exist.
-Don't buy dog food that's made in New Jersey.
-If you kill a cop on the street, in broad daylight, piss off the mafia, piss off crazy karate cops, and generally just piss off a whole bunch of other people, forget self-preservation, staying in the neighborhood is the norm.
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1. There is no higher paragon of virtue and goodness than the Mafia. They're more noble and forthright than the fuggen Salvation Army, Red Cross and Mother Theresa rolled into one. Fugeddaboudit...
2. Mobsters like to be close personal friends with cops and share lots of detailed information.
Nice dress. It would look great on my floor.
Roxanne can dial a phone with her nipples.
"Love is eternal... and that's a long time."
-Steven Seagal
I just want to thank everyone for the numerous LOL moments this thread provided me.
shareThis is like, the greatest thread ever!!! LOL
shareit rly is. i cant count how many times I've come back to it a reread it all again.
share* Sticks doesn't help his friends in a fight until they have all had the sh*t kicked out of them, then he'll step up (...and lose).....plus he must be the most Anti-social ruglar in bar in the world as he sits in the back by himself all day and night but everyone still likes him
Everyone in the bar has a self-explanatory nickname. It also applies to people Richie knows.
Bar:
-Tatoo
-Sticks
People Richie knows:
-Jimmy "The Chair"
-Johnny "Arms"
Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting
A Cue Ball wrapped up in a Towel is the perfect weapon...<Was that this movie?>
shareCops will risk a major sting to go protect a two-bit hooker who is getting slapped around buy her limp pimp.
Sleeveless shirts and berets are the norm for Detectives in Brooklyn.
No-one's seen Ritchie.
After getting hit in the mouth buy a cue ball and loosing half ones teeth, you get up again and want more.
Then you get your head busted apart, and can still manage the energy to party the night away and play cards with a hand full of hooker butt.
Scrawny guys who demand the password while leaning back on a barstool are stupid.
Vinnie the Book knows " Nuthin' from nothin'...
Slick mobsters with Don Virturo hang out with sea donkey bar flies twice thier age.
If Gina Gershon offered me head in the corner I would take it.
A german shephard puppy can survive a shock busting car chase because he was forgoten about.
Seagal getting offered sex buy a hooker on the street makes him bust out uncontrolled laughter, even though in the begining he helps hapless prostitues.
When one's leg gets shot off and hops away and you scream " OH YOU TOOK MY F'IN LEG "!!! I laugh uncontrollably.
Whose hotdog was that?
For being such the man, Ritchie could have pursued a better looking girl.
Willie the Pimp has the best broads.
Tattoo's is a caring fried offering a hug after Ritchies brother is crying.
" Where-as, what we have here... a bunch of fig-eaters trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. "
After reading this thread in its entirety, I can say two things: 1)Some of these posters should really be professional stand-up comedians!! and 2) Does anyone have the antidote for the hiccups????? In my years as an IMDB member, I have never read a funnier thread than this!!! HONESTLY, FOLKS! Good work; there should be more like these!
share1) That Mafia Dons swim the breastroke.
2)There IS no sleep till Brooklyn.
3) Gino is always playin da role.
4) Enterprising young Puerto Rican kids need not be in school,only rat out crack heads,and sell seltzer to make a living.
5)Coney Island food makes everyone sick even locals.
6)Criminals instead of killing Richie themselves and taking his money,would rather drive around all day being pursued by a homicidal cop in beret.
7) Being "A made guy" dont mean squat.
8)Its better to have had breakfast before viewing a shotgunned corpse in full rigormortis.
9) Jordache will never go out of style.
10) One ice cream in the daytime can ruin a kids appetite for supper.
11) All payphone calls In Brooklyn are a dime.
12) Slapping the snot out of your punk brother for not murdering a cop,is the way to win him over to your line of thinking.
13)Dogs in Brooklyn eat gun permits.
14) 20 cops checking a slain fellow officer cant find a polaroid,but Gino can !!
15)Richie when out of bullets,likes pain.
A Pool cue takes over three minutes to unscrew.
share[deleted]
1. It was personal business between Richie and Bobbie, but don't ever ask him if it was personal or business, otherwise he'll answer you, then get mad at you for asking him, then accuse you of ratting him out and finally put you out of your misery.
2. If you're not available when Gino comes looking for you, it's because you're a "chickensh*t fackin' pu**y a**hole".
3. It's ok to bring your dog into your corner grocery store and place said dog on the cash register counter.
4. William Forsythe rules. Watch The Substitute, which was released just five years later, and you'll think twice before realizing he's in both movies.
5. Gino put a cleaver through Paulie's hand, and Jack Bauer took a hacksaw to his neck.
6. After you get offered services by a prostitute, you should laugh like a hyena and then go vaguely mention it to the nearest homeless guy you can find.
7. Bochi's mouse is a lot smarter than Joey, but he's still gotta shoot that rat bast*rd.
Thanks to the lot of you who made this thread one of the funniest damn things I've read in years...
Five things I learned about crappy basement bars in Brooklyn while watching Out For Justice:
1.) A crappy basement bar in Brooklyn isn't the setting for profanity.
2.) In crappy basement bars in Brooklyn, a room full of tough guys fight one guy one by one instead of jumping him all at once.
3.) In crappy basement bars in Brooklyn it's okay to assault a police officer if he tells you to.
4.) In crappy basement bars in Brooklyn, a police badge is worth $5,000.
5.) The proprietors of crappy basement bars in Brooklyn leave frankfurters laying around on their bar counters.
This is the best thread ive ever read, lol
shareI just watched this last night so heres the things I learned.
- Willie the pimp dont work for the phone company.
- Everyone in Brooklyn says "FAGGEDABOUTIT"
- Gino loves puppies
- Gino overpays for club soda
- Chevy Caprices are great for moguling
- most Brooklyn Butcher shops also carry bullets and drugs, plus if you pay extra, they'll kill cops for you.
--------------------------------------------
Fighting Stupidity, one asshat at a time!
Things I learned from Out For Justice...
1) We used to have a First Lady named "Nancy F'n Raybush".
2) The only thing stopping me is fear and common sense.
3) Before shooting holes in the ceiling, bust in the 'jernt' to make sure 'ain't nobody upstays'.
4) The NYPD is the best place to be a rouge cop. Where else can you ruin a million dollar bust by rescuing a pregnant hooker from her abusive pimp, beat the crap out of him in front of your spectating co-workers, then proceed to suplex him through a windshield...and not even have to take one day off!
5) You get 'deceased' if you break into Vics' place.
6) A puppy may pee on your face after taking a dehabilitating Seagal kick to the nuts.
7) The best stick fight is not from this movie, but from Dumb & Dumber.
8) Baby's Dad from Dirty Dancing knew not to put Gino in a corner.
9) When a hot hooker asks if you wanna *beep*, it's OK to look like a doofus and start laughing, drive 10 yards to ask a bunch of homeless guys if they heard what she said, then proceed to drive off without giving them the time of day.
10) Gino would be nuttin' widdout 'dat badge'n gun!
11) Vinnie was sucking his thumb while Richie was running around town sucking dicks.
12) Calling a potential foe a "jadrool" or "finolke" has more impact than the standard stock of name calling fare, including "chicken$hit F'n pussy ass hole".
Ith my night!! My LATH night!!
-Richie from Out For Justice
*Dropping a clip full of bullets on the floor of a bar and leaving it there is responsible police work.
share"When an old mob boss comes into run-down Brooklyn basement bar, and asks if you understand English, you BETTER say yes. Otherwise, he will "teach you some English". "
"Old, retired boxers work at run-down Brooklyn basement bars."
"If you are Ritchie's brother, you BETTER NOT tell him you "can't use your piece"...or her will bust your nose and tell you not to let him see you again".
"Don't let Ritchie think you ratted him out".
"There will be NO repercussions for a cop who beats up a Don Vittrolio(SP), 'cause he "is friends with the head don".
"If two different groups of toughs keep coming into your run-down Brooklyn Basement bar--just STAY OPEN, and DO NOT try and leave."
1. Killing a cop in Brooklyn gets you "maybe 7 to 10"
2. If you dont finish your homework Gino will still play catch with you
3. Gino can drive over bumps in a Chevy Caprice at 80 mph that would total a Hummer
* It is the physical presence of a police badge that makes it a problem to attack a police officer, the moment he tells you to take it from him it becomes ok to attack him as he looses the badge magical protection powers. Before he said that nobody would dare to touch him.
* If you go into a dodgy Brooklyn basement bar waving a gun and bullying everyone that´s ok, as you are likely to be the only one with a gun there and no one will do anything because you have the gun.
* You can drag someone to jail and think of the charge later.
* Some police officers when breaking into a house full of dangerous drugged killers do it by themselves, calling for back-up is just useless and setting up a proper police operation is useless too.
Gina Gershon's mouth is so dirty,I'm surprised she can eat with it.
'Do you expect me to talk?' , 'No Mr Bond,I expect you to die!' - Goldfinger
If you say you can get Gina Gershon on the street for $10, she will give you the finger and deny it.
A nurse who works in the ER of Chicago hospital lives in Brooklyn with her immigrant sister and gives it up to crackhead criminals.
A rogue cop can order around and MAKE the Mafia wait to handle their business.
Wearing a beret and a sleeveless shirt IS intimidating.
angry cops can beat/shoot a room full of people up just to make things right.
What I learned from watching "Out For Justice" is that smoking a lot of crack doesn't promote rational thought.
shareI know two things I DIDN'T learn from Out for Justice:
1. Who took the polaroid of Bobby Lupo backdooring Roxanne.
2. Whose hot dog this is.
1: Cops wive's despite being distraut can remove a polaroid snap showing that her husband was infact 'dirty'...
2: It is perfectly alright to keep illegal drugs in your desk drawer when your a cop...no-one would think of checking...
3: Gino showed us why the bartender 'used to be' a boxer
4: Cop's are attracted to a drug and money induced lifestyle
5: When you accuse the widow of your partner of removing evidence and covering up him being dirty...she will gladly accept a cuddle from you...
6: Brooklyn bars have random hot dogs lying around
7: Gino is nothing without his badge, then again neither are the bar patrons
8: Former hooker's work at the video store
9: It's acceptable to ask your Captain for a shotgun, unmarked police car and ammo so that you can avenge your partners murder your own way...in fact other cops will openly rally support for you...
10: Tattoo's doesn't follow his own advice...fear and common sense...when half his teeth have already been knocked out...
When you talk to God it’s called prayer...when God talks to you it’s called schizophrenia...
Always wear a mouth piece while playing pool.
shareDon't tell Gino " f#ck you" or he will slam your nose into the bar table and bust it.
Gino doesn't give a f#ck about the department, even though he is a cop.
Richie will sneak, and hide, but will not leave brooklyn, even though he just murdered a cop in broad daylight in front of 2 million people, not to mention his wife and kids.
Gino doesn't care if you are a member of the most powerful mafia don's mob organization in the world, he will still punch you in the face and knock you out cold into the shelf of drinks.
Richie was always into something bad, even when him and Gino were kids.
Richie's mother doesn't know a word of english, but Richie's father is very fluent in english.
Even when Gino was a punk kid, he believed Mr. Madano, and Mr Madano believed him.
Just give Gino and unmarked car and a shotgun, and he will feed you every dope digging dime he finds.
Vickie(Gino's ex wife) never understood nothing about the neighborhood.
Richie wants to die in his own neighborhood.
"kill em all, let god sort em out" means you are a wannabe tough guy.
Abused puppies go and pee on their previous master whom abused them.
Tony(Gino's son) needs a father and Vickie(Gino's ex wife) needs a husband.
Q.)What should be done if a user or a technician gets hurt on the job?
A.)Escalate the problem
When Steven Seagal thinks you have a phone call to make, he'll push you in the phonebooth, and you'd better stay there!
An unclaimed hot dog in a bar full of guys, is a scary thing!
Not all Mets fans are bad guys, and we can even use a baseball bat despite the scene in the butcher.
This thread is funnier than any opening top ten list Jay Leno's ever done.
Gino didn't need to do all that running round kickin a$$ and killin bad guys, he kudda jus waided for da Seltzer selling truant kid to call him wid da hot tip about Ritchie bein in da mood.
Watch Bedbug on YouTube at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QI_1YSXt8Y/
- A man pinned to a wall with a meat cleaver through his hand will stand there shrieking incessantly instead of trying to remove it.
- Italian-American policemen treat mafia heads with sickening reverence and respect.
- Once a scissors-sharpener, ALWAYS a scissors-sharpener.
- A shotgun blast will sever a limb as cleanly as a blade.
- Puppies won't shìt or pìss in Stephen Seagal's car.
-Níl aon scáileán mar do scáileán féin.-
-When Ritchie says "SHUTDAFUCUP" you better do it!
-Don't go asking psycho crackheads about they're "PERSONAL BIZZNESS"
-Reformed hoes should always lock they're front doors or CRACKHEAD MURDER AND HIS BUDDIES will just walk right in
-STOP WHINING LIKE A *beep* AND GET YA PIECE!
-Don't be a tough guy when a ROUGE COP WITH A PONYTAIL AND TIGHT ASS YEAST INFECTION CAUSING JEANS is on the case
-Never run OUTTA BULLETS!
1. Never say beep you to Gino or you will get fatally kicked.
2. You don't want to become Gino's target because he will beat the hell out of you and then finally kill you.