OK, I feel it's time to have a "Things I Learned From" thread on this board. I'll kick off:
1. There is never anybody upstairs in a bar
2. If you've got the balls, Ritchie'll give you the bread
3. Gino is fair game
4. Never complain about losing some of your teeth, or you'll lose the rest
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of course he kicked sticks' ass. he sucked. it was cool watching them do all that Kali fighting though, but seagal showing off from his knees, he was just toying with sticks, then as soon as he lost his sticks, he tried hitting seagal with it and got taken down no problem
After I die, I want to be Buried Alive.
I just watched this awsome film again, and i have learnt the following:-
1. It is correct protocol for american police officers to simply demand a shotgun and an unmarked car when hunting dangerous drug crazed fatties.
2. Middle aged japanese men hang around in dodgy Italian pool halls.
3. If you know aikido then you are immortal.
4. There are such things as "disposable" knives and scissors, which means your knife sharpening father will out of a job.
5. If your a pimp it's quite possible to be mistaken for someone who has fallen of a turnip truck.
6. Pimps can't harm women, even after punching them 5 or six times, they'll be fine.
7. If your an arrogant cocky prick then people will be willing to help.
8. If Seagal kicks you in the balls, you die.
9. Smoking crack makes you a terrible fighter.
10. If you see someone stealing sweets then its ok to beat them up, lock them in the trunk of your car, then go and watch a film at the cinema.
- Dont attack Seagal with a meat cleaver, cause he'll make you put it in your own leg.
- Dont tell Seagal your a tough guy. And if he asks, its a trick question, cause he's tougher than you, and he knows that already.
(this one i kinda knew before the movie but still) Dont yell "Move your car" to a sweaty, gun wielding crackhead.
Talk about road rage! Whenever someone cuts me off, I make sure its not Richie before saying anything.
share1. Search warrants are for p***ies and f**s.
2. A 2-bit gangster-wannabe can afford to keep dozens of henchmen on the payroll.
3. There's only one person in the whole world who knows how to fight.
4. The "hero" can get away with acting like an obnoxious bullying jerk, but the movie will assume that the audience will root for him anyway. (this is only true if the actor portraying him co-produced the movie)
5. If you keep asking the villain's father for permission to kill his son, eventually he'll cave in. You just need to be patient, yet persistent.
6. Brooklyn exists in some sort of time-warp where it's still 1971, and always will be.
7. Gina Gershon deserves better.
8. Dan Inosanto (aka 'Sticks') would OWN Seagal in the real world. And what exactly was he doing at that bar anyway?
9. Old boxing champs forget how to throw punches at the first sight of Steven Seagal.
10. Apparently, practicing aikido doesn't burn a whole lot of calories.
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1. If you need any help, get Terri to dial the phone with her nipples.
2. If you`re thinking about to throw poor puppies out of your car, make sure Steven Seagal isnt driving behind you, or in that case, dont wear any signs on your car that makes him recognize it.
3. If Richie ever blocks your way on the street, do NOT tell him to move his car.
4. There is always a shotgun on the nearest shelf when you need it, even in your ex-wifes apartment.
5. Shut up about the facking mouse.
* Fat, obnoxious gap tooth crackhead fatties can easily get some from a supermodel level babe.
* Aikido is the ultimate form of street fighting.
* Steven Seagal has the worst italian accent on earth.
* Steven Seagals punches are more painful than bullets ripping through your body...or so he claims.
* Chuck Norris would totally whip Seagal in this movie.
* Seagal likes kicking you in the balls.
* "Yo *beep* is a clever insult.
* Aikido is better than boxing, kickboxing, jujitsu, karate, meat cleavers, and basically any other form of unarmed combat.
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@ Gino knows da neighbahood bedda dan anabody else.
@ Richie couldn't be a gangster if he owned New York.
@ Richie is killing guys like its free
@ Gad might be a puppateer and we're at the end of da strings
If you got the balls, you got the bread.
"The thing is Bob, its not that I'm lazy, its that I just don't care" -Peter
If you walk into a meat market and ask for the "merch and the bullets" they will have it.
shareDon't abandon pets in Brooklyn because Gino will find you.
It's entirely appropriate to throw a suspect through a car windshield.
A Cop can go around telling everyone he is going to kill somebody
instead of arresting them.
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If you slip a kid from the neighborhood some money so that he can go to Coney Island with the rest of the kids he will repay you by throwing you in jail.
shareThe best way to conduct detective work on tracing the steps of a homicide suspect is to walk into a dodgy bar and keep saying, "Does anyone know why Ritchie did Bobby Lupo?"
Chevrolet cars in the early 90s had hood ornaments (I actually didn't know this.)