In the last week I have rewatched the movie, read From Victim to Hero for the first time and skimmed through the Echols book. I plan to reread it.
These are the three main sources for Steven Stayner information for the public. My conclusion is: the truth is something we will probably never know. All three of those sources are biased - in different ways.
I actually understand what the OP is trying to say, albeit poorly. Yes, I do think Steven qute possibly become sexually aroused during the times he was abused as he got older and entered puberty. Parnell himself was abused as a child, so he had to know what mental damage would be done by giving Stepgen positive physical stimulation. It's a matter of biology. I just don't think I would say he "enjoyed" it.
Parnell convinced Steven he was his legal guardian. He tod him his dad was dead, his family had moved. He told him they wanted Steven to be with him. Additionally, and this is important, he told Steven that this was how all fathers loved and raised their sons. This was Stevens normal. Think of all the things Parnell could have told him - and probably did.
The Echols book does make it sound like Steven was jealous of Timmy. He was irritated by Timmy's whining and crying. What teenager wouldn't be? That doesn't make Steven any less a hero, but his motives for returning Timmy may not all be altruistic. Mainly altruistic, but not 100%. And that is fine.
As for Del and Kay Stayner, I don't think they intentionally harmed their children, but I do think they were neglectful. These were simple people, average intelligence, high school education. They just didnt know any different. Cary had mental problems at the age of three that should have been addressed by professionals.
I find fault with the parents on one other topic. At the age of 14 Steven was given a reward of $15,000. By today's standards that would be $45,000. What parent would let their child have complete access to that amount of money? After Steven wrecked hs first car, there shouldn't have been a second or third car. Plus, I have no doubt they were overwhelmed, both by the fact there were five children and they were barely making ends meet. They went without a lot of things because they were poor.
The whole family needed counseling, before the abduction, during the abduction and after Steven came home.
And this is where society as a whole failed. School counselors should have been checking in with the children as they went through the system. The ministers at both churches (Del was Mormon, Kay is Catholic), should have been scheduling regular time with them.
All typos are hereby blamed on my iPad.
reply
share
12 years ago
[deleted]
Giwu
12 years ago
A good therapist or minister could have made a huge difference.
So could, "Stevn, that money is for your future and is frozen until you're 18."
I know, things were different then and they raised their children differently than how I was raised. I'm sure if they could go back, there are things they would have done differently...as do all parents.
I don't know how they got through and face each day, either. My criticism is pretty gentle for me.
In our society, it isn't very often that there is a lot of sympathy for a serial killer's family. Knowing what I do know about the family, I don't think I could have voted for the death penalty for Cary. And I am for capital punishment. Just in this instance, I think it is a worse fate for him to live a long, healthy life behind bars.
All typos are hereby blamed on my iPad.
reply
share
OliverGbyrne
11 years ago
Thank you Giwu , that is exactely what I meant- Please people , I did not want to disrespect Steven , I feel for the guy (God rest his soul) and I must admit myself that I used the wrong words (I had just finnished the book when I wrote this topic and English is not my first langage), now I sort of feel bad for some of the things I have wrote but some of you have posted some valid points so I will not delete this post. I was trying to say that young Steven had been brainwashed by Parnel and he had very conflicting feelings towards him because of it. Steven in the book is very different from Steven in the film , Steven in the book is even more disturbed and parts of me judged him when he wrote positive things about Parnell , it just made me angry and it at times made me forget how bad Steven had it . "It's a lie" was a bit harsh now I must admit as we dont really know the truth and after doing research i have found that the writer of the book was not very decent towards Steven and his family.
reply
share
Giwu
11 years ago
Oliver, I'm assuming you were raised a lot differently than Stephen was - I know I was and I'm four years younger, from a small town and had conservative parents.
It's hard when you read this book or watch the movie to truly understand what Dteven went through, what he believed, since his upbringing is so alien to what we experienced as children.
I think he did a heroic thing in his rescue of Timmy. I think what makes it heroic is that he really wasn't planning on becoming a public figure. One source said he planned to drop Timmy off and then go back to the cabin and accept the inevitable beating he was going to get from Parnell. He didn't have plans to leave Parnell.
But, I don't think he was the total saint people make him out to be. Were any of us as teenagers?
All typos are hereby blamed on my iPad.
reply
share
crissttigaldames
9 years ago
It's really just sickening how someone could lay ANY blame on a 7 year old kid, kidnapped, mentally, physically, sexually abused.
At 14 he might not have been so young, but abuse was all he had known since he was 7. That's a lifetime. He didn't ask for help because he was scared out of his mind. Of the abuser, of no one helping him, of things being worse if he tried to do something. He was also completely ashamed of the sexual abuse, so didn't want anyone to know.
People get attached to their abusers, especially when they're dependent on them. It happens to adults as well. Just do some reading on what happens in prisons, with rape victims. Look up a documentary called Turned out, rape behind bars or something.
Imagine what it is like to a child.
reply
share