MovieChat Forums > Married with Children (1987) Discussion > Funny or Silly Lines That (Still) Make Y...

Funny or Silly Lines That (Still) Make You Laugh

posted 11 years ago by happipuppi13
75 replies | jump to latest

I watched the episode where Peg thinks Al is cheating
on her,because of her meeting a blonde in the beauty parlor.

The woman sleeps with married men and tells Peggy how she gets
away with it. She tells Peggy something about getting a 24 inch Sony (TV).

Peg trieds to confront him but Al's only confused :

Al : "What's going on around here?!"

PEGGY : "I might ask you the same thing, Mr. Twenty-Four Inch Sony!"

Al (bewilderd but insulted) : "Don't call me a TV in my own home! You're a TV!

It's one of the silliest lines ever in the show but it makes me laugh just
as much now as when i 1st saw it and times after. Until last week,I hadn't seen the series in almost 10 years. Except that "reunion special,where they all talk at the same time.

Love rules & hate's for fools.
(MR.) happipuppi13 *arf,man!*

[–] jamotide 11 years ago

When Al opens up the door for bearded Steve and mocks him "Nope, sorry, Tex, no chores for you today. Maybe we'll have you chop a little wood for us tomorrow."

When Kelly addresses Bud as "Oh Budkenstein!"

[–] tbx5959 11 years ago

Opened this thread thinking about this, and there it is. Toaster!

[–] tbx5959 11 years ago

The Sock Daddy skit. Sock Daddy almost got caught in the lint filter today.

[–] tbx5959 11 years ago

You stole that from Bugs. Daffy! Bugs! Daffy!...
Why are you 2 introducing yourselves

[–] happipuppi13 11 years ago

Steve (knock at Al's front door after Marcy throws up,Al opens it) :

"Al,I'm horny!" "What're you gonna do about it?!"

I saw this episode with my mother back
in '87,I was 18 and we both laughed at it
.
Which amazed me,because most 18 year old guys would
have been embarrased being in the same room with their mother for that.

As well as beng amazed my mother "would" find that funny.

Love rules & hate's for fools.
(MR.) happipuppi13 *arf,man!*

[–] tbx5959 11 years ago

On Ship Happens pt 2, where buck is doing the intro:

And now back to, Buck, King of All Dogs.

I usually hate the Buck parts, but that one always gets me.

(Pt 1 also has my favorite exchange:
Marcy: ~why do you insist on being so negative?
Al: Why did you cross the road!?!)

[–] happipuppi13 11 years ago

Bud: Hi, Mom.
Peg: Hi, Kelly.
Kelly: Hi, Mom.
Peg: Hi, Bud.
Al: Hi, Peg.....And before you say "Hi" to the milkman, it's me.
Peg: I know. I have a nose.
=====================================================================
Peg: It's a good thing I did the taxes. If claiming
two children as dependents gets you $300, imagine what 23 kids is worth?!

Al: The gas chamber?
=====================================================================
Marcy: God, I hate men!

Al: I thought you were man's best friend.
Oh wait, that's a dog, not a chicken. Sorry, Marce.
=====================================================================
(Vegas episode. > Marcy: Well, now I know everything will be okay. Because the man who sifts through my
garbage for food is going to break the bank in Las Vegas!"
=====================================================================
Al: [using a kitchen pot as a bongo drum]
Oh, man, we're broke, cha cha cha.
Everybody flat broke, cha cha cha.
Living in the gutter, cha cha cha.
Early grave, cha cha cha.....Everybody — shoot me!

Love rules & hate's for fools.
(MR.) happipuppi13 *arf,man!*

[–] csteph23 11 years ago

Kelly: Zowie!
Bud: Must I be the meat in an imbecile sandwich?

[–] happipuppi13 11 years ago

Bud: " Use you wits."
Kelly: " I am."
Bud: " No, wits, with a 'W.'"
Kelly: " Mommy, he's spelling at me again."

Peg: " I've got to go to the doctor. I want you to come with me."
Al: " I never came with you before."

Al: " I don't want you to learn anything until the show tomorrow."
Kelly: " How am I going to do that?"
Al: " Follow your mother around."

Marcy: You dispensed job information? You who thinks a W2 is a bingo number?
Jefferson: I know it's not a bingo number. It's that stuff you spray on squeaky hinges, isn't it?

BUD: Oh, finally! Some quiet. Just you and me now, Buck boy.
BUCK: Uh oh. I've seen porno films that start like this.

Love rules & hate's for fools.
(MR.) happipuppi13 *arf,man!*

[–] w22nuschler 11 years ago

There are so many great moments from this show and so many things that made me laugh. Al was the best.

[–] tbx5959 11 years ago

You're not getting into these pants...
Why can't I get shorts, I have the legs in the family..
I'd marry a rich Greek...Don't tell me (to bud) you haven't thought about being First Lady (bud turns away ashamed and embarrassed)

[–] happipuppi13 11 years ago

Lets go back to ep. #1 :

Al Bundy: Sweetie, is this your little cactus?

Peggy Bundy: Uh-huh.

Al Bundy: Any particular reason you put it where the alarm clock used to be?
============================================================================

Peg ; You could shave your back.
Al : Hey that hair is there for a reason...keeps you off of me at night.
============================================================================

Little boy in the shoestore : I want a balloon,
Al : (Looking at his mom) You've already got one.

============================================================================

Al: Let me tell you something. No woman tells Al Bundy what to do.

Customer #2: Hey, you! Get my shoes!

Al: Yes, Ma'am!
============================================================================

Al : "I'm meeting people named Steve & Marcy?!" "Why not Steve & Edie?"
(I think that's what he said).

Love rules & hate's for fools.
(MR.) happipuppi13 *arf,man!*

[–] rhs6358 11 years ago

Season One, when Al shoots Steve and Marcy's dog. When Steve is asked why he's sure the dog is dead, he says something like "One, he didn't respond to any of my commands and two, his brains are in the begonias".

[–] tbx5959 11 years ago

I want to be buried next to old fuzzy...and the mule.

[–] BeaverHole 11 years ago

From the nooner episode:

Al: I gotta go Peg.
Peggy: Al sing to me.
Al: GOTTA GO PEEEEGGGGGG!!!!!

From the Larry Storch episode:

Peggy calls Corporal Agon Corporal Egg Roll
Al: It's Corporal Agon YOU BLASPHEMOUS HEATHEN!

*clunking car sounds coming from outside*
Peggy: Is that your father and his Dodge?
Bud: No that's Larry Storch and his Dodge.

And my favorite of all time from the episode where Al can't remember the name of a song and keeps humming "hmmm hmmm himmmmmm."

[–] happipuppi13 11 years ago

Here's some favorites only from Al.

Guys may come and guys may go, but daddy's
always daddy...well, at least until he jumps a freight train.
==============================================================
I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito
in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money out of my wallet.
==============================================================
Al :(Peg) I'm jealous of everyone not married to you.
==============================================================
I saw a star in the East. Peg, did you do laundry?
==============================================================
Peg, when you married me,was it
pre-meditated or a drive-by marriage?
==============================================================
Lets go! Last one to your house gets to sit next to my wife!

If you want to have sex, the kids have to leave,
and if you want it to be good, you'll have to leave

Love rules & hate's for fools.
(MR.) happipuppi13 *arf,man!*

[–] brituc1 11 years ago

Al giving a speech to FANG (Feminists Against Neanderthal Guys)

Al: Now ladys...

Marcy: We prefer to be called Gyno - Americans.

Al: Then Rhino - Americans it is.

[–] tbx5959 11 years ago

I come to you not as a man (roaring applause)

[–] Hey_Sweden 10 years ago

Al (going to answer the door): God, I hope that's a Jehovah's witness.

What do you think this is, a signature? It's a way of life!

[–] Beeracuda 10 years ago

Peg: "Hi honey, did you miss me?"
Al: "With every bullet so far"
-------------------------------------
Fat Lady: "These shoes split on the sides"
Al: "Well ma'am, like an elevator, these shoes have a 2-ton weight limit. What say I nail the soles directly to your feet? It'll give you more traction when you're pulling the ice wagon".
Fat Lady: "You'll be hearing from my attorney!"
Al: "Would that be the law offices of Hagen and Dasz?"
-------------------------------------
Fat Lady: "I don't like this shade of blue"
Al: "Ok, here's what I'll do. I'll stand you in front of a mirror, and I'll begin to strangle you. When you reach the shade of blue that's satisfactory, you yell "Moo", and I'll stop."
Fat Lady: "How dare you say these things to my face!"
Al: "Well I'd say them behind your back, but my car's only got a half a tank of gas!"
-------------------------------------
Fat Lady: (after being ignored in the store by Al) "Excuse me, am I invisible?"
Al: "Possibly from Pluto"
-------------------------------------
Al: "Bud, quick - what's more important: Love or money?"
Bud: "Well, money. I can always rent love."
-------------------------------------

[–] tbx5959 10 years ago

These shoes fell apart after one day, and I wan to know why
This is a Pliant(?) heel with a cork filling
Where you are a giant seal with a pork filling

[–] BdR76 10 years ago

I don't know the exact quotes but from the episode "Rain Girl" where Kelly gets to present the weather on local tv. Al, Peggy and Bud are watching Kelly on tv as she reads off the teleprompter with much difficulty. She's really struggling and reading like she's a 6 year old kid:

Peggy: "Wow, that reading tutor is really paying off."
Bud: "Why don't they just put peanut butter on her lips like they did with Mr Ed?"

Also in that episode, Kelly says something like:
Kelly: "Strom clods are headed to chick-a-go."
director off-camera: "ugh, that's Chicago!"
Kelly: "We're getting strom clods? Oh no, what are strom clods?"

One of the best episodes imho. xD

[–] tbx5959 10 years ago

How will you get there, Daddy?
I'll crawl on my face