It's possible that your cousins are just assholes.
As I told you I left Christianity for about 20 years. No one "ex-communicated me." Largely it wasn't discussed at all, but when it was, I was gently encouraged to move back toward Jesus. Eventually I did, but it took a very long time.
Hell's a tough topic, and it's one I've spent a long time thinking about. Ultimately it comes down to whether or not a person has chosen to align themselves with God or not. If one has, God will bring them into his kingdom. If that person has not made such a choice, and therefore aligned themselves against God, then he will respect that choice and allow them to remain outside the kingdom. It's just that those who find themselves outside the kingdom may find that it sucks.
It's ironic we're having this conversation because just the other day I ran into a quote from a theologian named J.I. Packer and it struck me with enough force that I wrote it down: "Scripture sees hell as self-chosen. Hell appears as God's gesture of respect for human choice. All receive what they actually choose, either being with God forever, worshipping Him, or without God forever, worshipping themselves."
So the question every person has to ask themselves is this: Do I want to be in union with God and his plan and purposes or do I want to ignore Him and do my own thing?
As for non-Jewish Arabs and Christians in Israel leaving the region so that God can kick off Armageddon, I'm not sure where they get the idea that they have any sort of power over that, or that anyone leaving or staying will influence God's timetable.
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