Do You Remember Joey Buttafuco?

Joey Buttafuoco was the auto body guy who “allegedly” had sex with 16 year-old Amy Fisher, who was dubbed “the Long Island Lolita” after she paid a visit to Joey’s wife and shot her, convinced that Wifey was preventing Joey from marrying her! It was a hell of a story, and everybody involved in it—Joey, Amy, Wifey, the various lawyers, the cops and the press—told different versions. The 1 incontrovertible fact was that a guy named Joey Buttfuck was BORN looking guilty as sin in this case. Imagine his lawyer: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the defense will prove beyond reasonable doubt that my client, Joey Buttfuck, DID NOT have sex with the hot 16 year-old Jewish vixen, Amy Fisher, and indeed went to GREAT LENGTHS to discourage her from Sodomy.” Judge: “There will be no laughing in this court! Order!” District Attorney: “Please state your name for the record.” Joey: “ Joey Buttafuoco.” Massive laughter in the court. DA: “Do you enjoy Anal sex with minors?” Joey: “Ayyy! Sixteen is legal in N’Yawk!”