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Canceled Trip - More glitches


Just returned the rental car. It's too crazy out there, with too many unknown and dangerous factors to take this long a trip, in the middle of a serious national disaster.

Relieved to have made the decision. Also, my dear friend isn't far away from Tampa, where Irma's now heading, much to everyone's surprise. This way I'll be able to stay home and easily follow along with what's happening.

Rescheduled for Monday the 18th. Going to view this as an elaborate dry run.

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[deleted]

Thanks, Dazed. I've been glued to the news for the past 24 hours, hoping my friend will pull through this. At last count I read, over 7 million people have been evacuated!

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I know, it's nuts! Very scary. I have to wonder how many people are left in Florida now. They're also being evacuated out of areas in Georgia and South Carolina.

No, not having second thoughts. There isn't severe weather where I'm heading. They'll no doubt get some heavier rain and perhaps some wind, but not the actual hurricane. It's only the travelling there I was worried about, oh and also not wanting to visit while it's raining the entire time!

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Sorry to hear it Cat.... and after all of your planning. Still, it's best not to travel with all of this going on.
I never did ask why you were traveling. Was this an important trip? Did you need to go or was this a visit that you can postpone?
Apparently, after reading your OP, it is something you can put off.
Hope your good friend stays safe,

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It is an important trip. I'm going there to see if I like it, with the aim of moving there, and looking at houses as well as rentals. Never been, so I've got to go see it myself and get a feel. My oldest friend lives there, and he suggested I move there months ago. After lots and lots of questions and research, it seems like the best place to relocate.

Thank you for your good wishes for my Floridian friend.

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I hope that your friend is safe and OK! This hurricane will obviously influence your choice of a home in Florida! I wish you and your friend well!

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Heard from my friend and miraculously although Irma went right over where they live so it was a direct hit, they didn't even lose power! I am so thankful and relieved.

Ha, I wasn't planning on moving to Florida. Never would consider it. I'm considering a state farther north.

Thanks for your well wishes, they worked!

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Good call,it's safer this way....i know it's hard,but sometimes you need to take hard decisions.

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Thanks, Croft. Hard decision, yes, but I know it was the right one.

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Stay safe,Catbookss.

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Thank you, Croft :). Will do.

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Yes, sorry you had to cancel your trip but at least you were smart to do it under the conditions. Sending positivity to both you and your friend. I can't even imagine how terrifying it would be to be directly involved.

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Thanks very much, Daisy. As I just responded to MissMargo, my friend is okay!! It was a scary night, but all is well. I can't imagine what it'd be like to be in the middle of that either. The entire state was in a panic.

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You made the right decision.
You are out some money but it could have been much worse.

Hug the pup and let it go. You're both safe. That's all that really matters.

On the bright side it should be a little less hectic getting ready for next week.

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Thankee, Dewey. Absolutely, we're both safe and that's all that matters. It definitely will make prepping for the actual trip much easier :)

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I was about to ask you if you had left when I found this thread. You made a wise decision! I've been glued to the tv, checking on family, etc. After that my printer will not print black so working on that to no avail. MC took a back seat until now.

Thank God Irma's eye went over 50 miles east of Tampa and hit Central Florida where there wouldn't be a storm surge. We Floridians are very aware what would occur if Irma stayed on track to Tampa. The last time Tampa took a direct hit was in 1960 with Donna. We weren't as paved over then. Instead she went over St, Cloud, Kissimmee, Orlando, etc. The winds were less and Tampa was spared. I recall walking into the living room about 1:30 AM and noticed the radar with Irma's path. I screamed at my husband who was sleeping "Look, it's missed Tampa and going over our home area!"

My family is in St.Cloud, FL which caused a great deal of concern. My daughter evacuated from her double-wide mobile home to a two story rental in Kissimmee, FL. with the little dog. She spent the night in a closet under the stairs! The eye of Irma went over her. The grandson stayed with the other grandma, the granddaughter took the rest of the zoo (2 huge outdoor dogs & 2 alley cats to the boyfriend's house. All is well with the homestead except for debris and neighborhood shingles scattered about. I'm sure more blue roofs (tarps) are the norm.

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So it's Monday the 18th. The car rental doesn't have a car for me to rent! Tried calling Friday (okay so people rented for the weekend), yesterday, and this morning.

I'd hoped to leave yesterday, but gave myself wiggle room to leave today too.

Also having a lot of problems with my dog's weakened hind legs, and figuring out what best to do about *that*. She'll have to get in and out and in and out of the car throughout the trip, putting even more strain on her hind legs. May have figured out some kind of solution about that, I HOPE! I'll feel miserable if I'm creating more problems for her, but also can't leave her behind, and have to go, so ...

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[deleted]

Cat,
Are you hoping to get a hatchback? Easier to load pets. If not you may have to do what I did the last year of Bear Dog's life (50 lbs.). He wasn't able to jump up into the truck any longer due to age. He was able to get his front legs onto the floorboard, so I would pick up his hind quarters by lifting underneath him to assist him. He then would lie on the floor as he wasn't able to balance himself from the seat. Do take plenty of paper towels with some wet ones sealed in a zippy bag for wiping paws, wiping up accidents and also to clean the behind in case Fido has some loose stools. Gross! I know, but better safe than sorry.

Do you think this trip at this time maybe not be the best for you. You are having too many obstacles. There is no one who can Fido sit? I know she has separation anxiety, but check out boarding her at the vet. The vet staff is attentive and you could request a mild sedative if needed. The trip would be much easier for you.

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I was hoping to, yes, and I did, but with my girl's bad back legs, any vehicle that's at all high off the ground she can't do without further injuring her hind legs. I've done the same thing as you, except even with the front seat moved all the way forward, there's not enough room in this car for her to get her front legs onto the floorboard. My sweet, very dog-wise neighbor loaned me an older dog lifter-upper, thankfully, and that's helped a lot.

Paper towels, check, although I haven't needed them for her, only for ME tonight to wet my face with cold water because I was so afraid I'd fall asleep driving. Also had my first Red Bull, for the same reason. Which sort of worked.

Nope, boarding or even having her stay with someone she's known and been to her house before and is a *very* sweet and kind person, who loves dogs, was a no go. No choice but to do a road trip and bring her with me. Her well being is my first priority. Believe me, I'd have MUCH rather flown there and back, if it'd been possible.

I think she's beginning to mellow out and realise I'm *not* bringing her anywhere to abandon her, which is what happened to her before, and I totally understand why she'd be so worried it might happen again.

Today we got to travel by day, and some of the scenery was magnificent. Some interesting, and a little sad. Some very monotonous. Very glad to be here, early enough to get a good night's sleep. Nice I was able to hook up my computer and post a little update.

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Your most recent posts are provoking my wanderlust. How I can relate; wishing I was on the road again. Stay alert and safe ! 🙂

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Take a trip and satisfy that wanderlust! I have to say, there is something very freeing and wonderful about being on the road. It's my first real solo trip, and I now get the wanderlust.

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I used to drive out to Iowa City, IA from Somerville, MA, virtually every year, to visit my sister, who lived out there, to visit her. It was two nights out on the road, and two nights back. There's something very refreshing, about being on the road, in control, and being able to make one's own schedule. Stopping to stretch my legs whenever I felt like it was great, too. Flying is too much of a pain in the neck, now. I wouldn't fly if someone was paying me to do so. There are too many horror stories that abound, now.

If I can drive roughly halfway across the country to Iowa City, IA, I could drive across country to Las Vegas, NV, where my sister will be moving pretty soon. I've dreamed of driving across country, and plan to drive out to Las Vegas, when the weather is better, in the spring.

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Two, even three, nights or days of driving sounds good and very doable to me now. Five days? Not so much, and that's what I've got ahead of me. Still, it could be worse. There are some interesting things to see along the I-40 that are remnants of the old Route 66, and there's also the Grand Canyon which I'd love to see, but that's a decent bit north of the I-40 and I may be racing time getting the rental car back home so won't have the time to see it.

But by god I WILL stop in Santa Rosa NM again and this time will make time to see something called The Blue Hole, else die trying ;)

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Well, you've finally got to head out! Gal, you've got more guts than I do. First major solo trip to an area I assume you haven't driven to or rode with someone else. #1 I would never start out driving a long unfamiliar trip in the afternoon. #2 I definitely would not be driving at night especially in unfamiliar territory. (Although my soon to be ex-son-in-law who drove an 18 wheeler preferred night due to less traffic) #3 I would not be able to drive so many miles with just 3 hrs. sleep. You are dogged and brave and to top it off drive through LA! I won't drive I-4 through Orlando...nutty drivers! To meet the obstacles you did to prepare for this trip, traveling with an anxiety ridden pooch, and the stress you've had would leave me without the "wanderlust" most assuredly! :( 😟

Be safe, enjoy your trip and Godspeed!

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Ha, not guts, it's a matter of no choice. Nope, never been anywhere near these places, alone or with anyone else. Had to leave Monday, late afternoon or no, but I didn't anticipate the horrendous traffic and that wasn't even in LA proper, where I would have expected it!

True, there's less traffic at night, but it also means driving blind, and (the worst part) driving through areas that have signs warning "watch for deer next 15 miles!" or "watch for falling rocks next 10 miles!" WTH are you supposed to do if a deer darts out in front of you or a rock comes crashing down?

Yesterday was pretty good. Amazing rock formations entering NM from AZ, wonderful being able to drive during the day and see things. Interesting remnants of Route 66, which I-40 frequently intersects and/or runs parallel to.

Northern TX was unbelievably monotonous and ugly, as were parts of AZ and NM. Thank god for all the road signs the whole way, so far, or I'd have been bored out of my mind for most of this. Once entering OK, and even east TX, it became prettier, but also very hot and humid. In the mid 90s with who knows what % of humidity. Felt like 1000%. Thank god for car air conditioning.

In TX, stopping for gas, could not find debit card. Panic! Must have left it filling up tank back in Santa Rosa NM (which I liked -- also great hotel room and service, at a great price). Tried to call bank, but no internet to get #, and phone suddenly went dead on me. No GPS, no nothing! Got very lost and no way to ask for help. Completely desolate area.

Anyway, finally made it to just west of Oklahoma City. Wifi wasn't working, no phone, completely cut off from world. Had to move everything to another room, where thankfully WIfi worked, if slow. I'll take slow!

Hope to reach Memphis tomorrow, and then, FINALLY NC.

Thanks for your well wishes and Godspeed!

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I still say you are brave! Wow! What a trip you've undertaken from the west to east across country. Are you planning to move to NC?

Last year on one of my bi-annual trips to Florida and back I had the same panic occurance you did re: the credit card for gas. Going and returning I use the same gas stations, 200 miles apart. I pulled in and reached for my card. It wasn't to be found! So, I left the pump area and pulled around to the side. Frantic I had left my card at the last station, I searched for a phone number to check. I couldn't locate one. I had 200 miles left to drive and would have coasted on fumes at the end. I only had a small amount of cash on me. I went inside to inquire if I could pay via paypal by transferring funds to the station. Of course...not! I started hyperventilating not knowing what to do. My mind was racing, my BP was rising. I just knew I was going to have to call my husband to drive the 200 mi to rescue me!

The cashier suggested I go further down the road to a place, can't recall, to have cash wired to me. The first place no longer did wire transfers, but someone sent me to another place. I think Wal-mart was involved. Anyhow, my husband wired cash for a fee, which at that point I would have paid $100! Rcvd the cash, back to the station to fill the tank then back onto I-10. Never, ever would I travel without enough cash for two fill-ups.
I also knew I was going to have to inform credit services to freeze my card.

I made it home and began unloading. "When what to my wondering eyes did appear,"...it wasn't "a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,". It was my card on the floorboard which I had missed finding when I pulled everything out of my truck. Somehow it had lodged itself on edge out of sight! All was right with the world again....

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I'm strongly considering moving to NC, but have never been and despite my oldest friend urging me to move there without even having visited, I can't take *that* big a leap of faith.

Oh god, yes, I went through the same thing as you did vis a vis missing credit/debit card! It's such a terrible feeling.

Ugh, I know exactly how you felt through all of that, down to finally finding the tiny reindeer that had rendered themselves invisible due to flukes and panicking.

Made it to the (awful) motel in Lakeland TN tonight. NO thanks to the GPS, which got me more lost than I've ever been in my entire life, and in (HUGE! had no idea it was so metropolitan and equal to LA in complexity with interchanges and traffic) Memphis! All I know is GPS suddenly stopped giving me directions after saying I was minutes away from the motel, and I have not a single clue where I was, except at one point I had to cross a ginormous bridge, and at another point was on Beale Street. Couldn't tell you if I'm west or east of Memphis if my life depended on it.

Tomorrow, thank god, NC and the end of part 1 of this trip!

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You really need to sample some Memphis style bbq before you leave !

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I wish I had the time, I truly do. Memphis BBQ and some good blues.

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Oh yeah, Robert Cray, the king of Memphis blues ! I've got a lot of his music. I would find the time. Equivalent to truck stop food, if not surpassing it. 😉

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[deleted]

Made it here very late last Friday night. Holy cr@p, what an ordeal, and what a great pleasure to wake up the next morning and NOT have to rush out of a motel and get back on the road for yet another day. That SUCKED.

Have to say it's every bit as beautiful here has almost everyone has said it is. The trees, just starting to turn color, the river, the many creeks, it's amazingly beautiful. Humid, yes, but at least now, not unbearably so.

It's been great seeing my oldest friend. Tonight his wife went off on me for reasons only known to herself and was a complete shock to me. He asked me if she'd been drinking, as he's been out of town for the past 2 days, and yes, she had been. He told me this had been a problem in their marriage and to back off until he came home and to give it some space. I'll do that, but honestly I'm not comfortable staying here longer than tonight.

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Glad you're safe Cat.

Perfect time of year to enjoy the colors.

I've been in the situation that you've described.
Uncomfortable is and understatement. Hopefully everything works out for you.
We're thinking of you.

Hopefully the baby girl is doing ok.
Is she at least eating ?

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Thank you so much, Dewey. I saw a little bit of the changing colors of the leaves. More than that, what mattered more to me, was to see the incredible beauty of the trees, the rock formations, and especially the creeks and the French Broad River. Breathtaking and healing of the soul.

Late this morning I finally checked email and had one from my friend, who said I had to be out of the house by 10 this morning at latest (I hadn't gone to bed until 5 AM because I was so upset), and on top of that, while he was upset about all this, we were to have NO further contact. Ever. Even if I decided to move here, no contact. This is insane! Honestly, it feels like a nightmare, although I know it isn't. He's been like a brother to me for most of my life.

On top of that, I had NO idea where I was going (motel, or anywhere) or how to get there because my phone is completely unreliable, and no GPS, and they know this! They were supposed to take me today to get the phone fixed. I have no idea where to go, or how to get there. I'm utterly lost. Not only is this city unfamiliar to me, but the entire area is. They know this too. I wouldn't do this to anyone, let alone anyone I cared about.

Thank god for the kind real estate agent, whose number I happened to put into my phone, and while my phone didn't work to call him, I could text, and he helped me out. Otherwise, god knows what would have happened.

One thing I'm very grateful for is baby girl is doing okay! And that's a pretty BIG thing. She lost her appetite on the road, as did I, and still hasn't entirely regained it, but tonight she ate more than she's eaten so far, so I'm happy. I can tell she does now realise I'm NOT going to abandon her. Tonight, back in a motel room, at first she wasn't sure and wanted to velcro me again, but it didn't take too long before she realised "Oh, okay, she's coming back" :)

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I'm glad the pup is doing well. She might be doing better than you are from the
sounds of it.

I am so sorry you are going through this. After all that you've went through
just getting there and now this. I'm sure it seems like a punch in the gut.

Whatever is happening in this marriage isn't about you. Try not to take it
personally. You just happen to be the latest convenient thing.
The problem is he's making his choice to give in to this behavior. It will only get worse.
He's forsaking a longtime friend. It's hurting him too. I don't think any of us
can guess what's happening in this marriage. For him to do this there must
be a lot of sadness and desperation.
He's making this choice now but usually in these situations it won't last.
Then where will he be ?

Give it some time to see if he reaches out to you.
Whether you can forgive him is up to you.
Try to stay strong and know you did absolutely nothing wrong.

Give the pup a big hug.
This can only help.






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Ha, she probably is doing better than I am. But that's okay. I'm just so happy she's all right.

Thanks, Dewey. I do feel like I've been sucker punched in the gut. I still can hardly believe this happened; it's so bizarre.

I am trying to not take it personally. Obviously there's something very wrong with her, as no reasonable, rational person behaves this way. I agree, he's choosing to enable this behaviour, which isn't good for either one of them. But, it is his choice and he has the right to make it.

I know he's upset by this. He agreed to place me in a *terrible* position, just to keep the peace. No doubt he is experiencing a lot of sadness, and desperation to feel he had to make this decision. She too has to be experiencing pain and fear in order to behave like this. I honestly thought she'd realise the next day, once sober again, that she'd blown things up out of all proportion, and if I left and stayed in a hotel that day & night, given a little time, she'd become reasonable. But I also knew there was the possibility that she'd be so embarrassed, she felt she had no option but to dig in her heels, and not budge an inch.

What I DIDN'T foresee is she'd take this to such extremes, demanding that he not only not help me get somewhere to fix the phone and GPS so I'd have a safe journey home, but to not be in any kind of contact with me again. That … wow. I'd never stand for this from a spouse. I'd *never* want to be married to someone who would make demands like this. If she'd gotten drunk and acted like an ass, and then cleaned up the mess she made the next day, that I could get. But NOT this.

I have to assume he's not going to break his word to her. Best to assume that and then if he does reach out to me and *profusely* apologises, that will be a pleasant surprise. But could I ever trust him again? I don't know. He is, as I said, like a brother to me, like family. I could forgive him, but I just don't know if I could have him in my life again.

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This is just a sad situation all ways round.
Especially with somebody who've you known for so long.

Demands, regret, anger. These don't add up to a marriage.
Saving your marriage is one thing but at what cost? His friend, his
self respect and dignity. Whatever is going on he's allowing it to happen.
She might have started it but it's now all on him. At this point he's the only
one who can help himself.

I really wish I could tell you something that would help or at least make you
understand and feel better. This whole situation is just so strange.
Try not to dwell on it too much.
Were you at least able to have any kind of fun ?

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Yes, it is very sad all the way around. Everyone involved here is in pain, including his Debil Spawn wife. She'd never behave this way if she weren't. And that's fine and I get it, and I feel empathy for her about it, but this is all so wrong.

I agree, marriage *should* be important, one's spouse *should* be important, but what if the spouse is demanding something so unreasonable that it's at great cost to the other spouse -- and even herself, her (or his) own soul? Both people, actually. One is abusing power and the other enabling it at the expense of his or her self respect. It's damaging to both.

Thanks, I really do appreciate it. I do think I understand well enough at this point, although it still doesn't make sense to me because it is very far out of the range of normalcy. He may very well continue his life until the end being this way. I hope not, but it's nothing within my control, and yet it still hurts.

I did have a little fun! The day we went out looking at houses and driving around various (mostly beautiful) neighborhoods, that was fun.

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I think it will hurt for a little while at least.
Knowing him for so long or at least thinking you knew him.
At the very least I would think he owes you an explanation.

It might be a little weird if you did move there or would you move
someplace different than where you went.
What if you ran into them?

Time will help. You're a very strong smart person.
There might be some tears but in the end you'll overcome this.
It may not be much but we're here for you.
Be safe !

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I think so too, although upon reflection within the past 48 hours, I realise I should have known better. He's a good person (well, I used to think so for all these years, but to leave me stranded this way, what truly good person would do that?), but he's weak. He hates confrontation so much, he caves, even when he has to know it's wrong. We all have our faults, and this is his.

If I decide I really do want to move there and that's where I belong, I don't give a flying fvck if I run into them. My side of the plate is clean; theirs isn't. I'd move to wherever I could afford, like, and the property and house, and neighborhood have what I want. Of course if that were next door or just down the street from them, then NO, lol! But I don't even like their cookie cutter neighbourhood, so that would never happen.

Thus far, no tears shed. Probably I'm still in shock of some sort. I am coming to grips with the reality of this, slowly but surely. After all, all I can do is accept and move on. I realise he's an emotionally weak person, and his 2nd wife is ultimately no better than his first, except she seems to make him less miserable. He has a high tolerance for it, and so be it. It's his choice.

Thanks for saying I'm a strong and smart person. Maybe that's the up side of this experience, realising that, having now proven it to myself.

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I just began to follow this thread--for what have to be (to me) very mysterious reasons. I've never followed Moviechat's General Discussion thread. Swear to God, reading this and other threads I searched this board for, started by you, I thought you were a family member! The I-40, the misery of entering humidity, the arrival at a destination where unanticipated difficulties come out of left field. Jesus. The similarities "read" like a novel.

First, I'm very sorry to hear this development. Second, I want to recommend an exact--EXACT--story of a young guy who moved from California to NC... I use ellipses because there's a sequel. I live in Pennsylvania and could not adapt to the California climate when I tried in the 90's. You sincerely (oh, honey, believe me) *sincerely* might not be able to adapt to eastern humidity. Autumn is a deceptive season here; first, because as John Donne said, and I'm paraphrasing very badly, "October is the closest thing to heaven we'll know here on earth." The days will become less humid and the colors heartbreaking in their beauty. But.

But the humidity will return. The winters are b*sta*ds. Personally? I love the dead of winter, and I love it inversely to my age. Most older adults fear winter. Not me. No time of year gives an older person more of an excuse in their free time to stay glued to the internet or DVDs or--whatever.

PLEASE feel free to contact me here or at the email address (@yahoo.com) that followed my IMDB user name (trust me, we know each other from the Forsyte Saga board--but please do NOT write that name here in public). I did not go by this Moviechat screen name on IMDB.

Reading into what you wrote, there's a possibility that jealousy is in play. Not good. Exact same issue my family member had to deal with out of the blue. Anyway, honey, take care. Keep us posted. God bless.

[EDIT: Can't find the blogger who did the CA to NC move but will keep looking for it.]

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Of course I remember you and am so glad you found your way here! I suppose in ways we are like family members :)

Yeah, entering Oklahoma and then Tennessee from the I-40, it was very hot (mid 90s) and very humid (unknown %, but high) and a bit tough to deal with. Once I entered NC, it was only slightly hot and humid. I'd wanted to arrive here when it was still hot and humid to see if I could deal with it or no. I know it'll return in summer, but it *can't* be worse than what I experienced in OK and TN. Everyone has said so, and even so this is very unusual for OK and TN in September.

From what I understand Western NC is never extreme. It does get cold in winter, the leaves of most of the trees fall and they're bare. I have to expect that, and if I do decide to move here, I'll be moving in the worst season of the year. Spring is wonderful. Hell, even in So. Cal. spring is beautiful -- IMO the *only* season of the year in SoCal that is beautiful! But then I love green, and it's the only time of the year SoCal has that.

You may very well be right that this is a matter of jealousy and insecurity. I'm still so shocked by it all, there's a lot for me to process. All I know is I did and do *not* deserve to be treated this way. I understand his marriage is important to him, but to leave me so high and dry, in a place I don't know at all, without either phone or GPS, after having done *nothing* wrong except in his crazy wife's head (and I still don't even get what that is!) is unconscionable. I was just very lucky that the real estate agent I met a few days ago and liked very much wanted to meet with me today and was willing to come find me wherever the hell I was, let me follow him back to his office, talk a bit, and locate a motel and give me clear directions to get here.

Thank you so much, Diggory, for responding here, your support, and your PM. I got your PM first BTW, and I know who you are :)

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Hmm, just posted a response to you and got the message my post had no content? That's never happened before. Anyway, to recap,

[heart], and you know what I mean. More tomorrow, provided I land somewhere where there's decent enough Wifi. While this motel sucks in most ways, it does have the best Wifi I've encountered so far. If I can, I'll write more. If not, well, you know.

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Hopefully, you'll be crossing the great divide...the great divide that is between gray-and-gloomy back into nice sunshine.

But what idiot ever said it wasn't the destination, but the journey that counts? :) Not until I they invent and I can afford a self-driving car.

Happy Motoring!!!

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If you mean literal grey and gloom, it's been pretty sunny most of the time here. If you mean metaphorical grey and gloom, which I suspect you do, yes, the sunshine will be VERY welcome!

… Computer and connection are being very slow this morning.

Thanks for the happy motoring wishes!

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@Cat

What in the sam hill (never could figure out that expression) caused your friend's wife to go nutso? Jealously perhaps? So many spouses are not too keen about having an old time friend being a part of the other's life. How uncomfortable you must have felt. I would have gathered my belongings and made a gracious exit. Having an excuse blaming it on your companion's separation anxiety by her thinking you were going to leave her there!
If you move to NC I would be planning on not seeing your oldest friend that often. In fact with your independence being a part of your persona, I would settle several miles away w/o thoughts of him being a part of your life. Sure, it's nice to know someone in the area where you relocate, but there is a potential problem here.
I still feel the hurt from 40 yrs ago when we visited Dallas to see my large extended family. The vacation was great, always doing things together. I thought why not move there from FL? Cost of living was much lower, a new beautiful large brick home could be had for far less than the selling price of our cracker box home in Fl. We both gave up terrific jobs and made the plunge. It's always been said if you can't find good employment in TX there's something wrong with you! He found a fantastic position within 3 weeks!
Our moving van belongings were being stored in a relative's garage. I found an apartment. On moving day to the apartment several of my male relatives were to assist in our move. One showed up! And he was a relative by marriage. That was the first red flag. The larger red flag came at Thanksgiving. My delusions of grandeur in thinking we were going to enjoy large family get togethers soon slapped me in the face. Reality set in on Thanksgiving day my husband, my kids and I ended up eating dinner in a restaurant! The rest of the families were having the turkey dinner together. Was it illogical for me to think we would be invited...to be a part? We lasted seven yrs., packed & moved back to FL.

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Hey, Ksp,

It's been 24 hours later now, and I still don't understand what happened, or why. The worst of it is, as I said in earlier posts on this thread, is that I've always felt like he was family to me, like a brother, and now he says we can no longer have ANY contact at all, not even if I decide to move here. No phone calls, no texts, no anything. This hurts me more than I can express. I understand that his marriage is very important to him, as it should be, but this is wrong! I haven't *done* anything wrong, nothing to warrant this.

He *has* to know it. And yet, he's choosing to back up his irrational wife, who, ironically, was the person who was all for my moving here, and was the one who suggested it in the first place! I think she's embarrassed, that she knows she got too drunk last night and said what she said as a result of that and her own insecurities, but obviously he's choosing to pander to these things, and screw me. This isn't love. I really did think he loved me and always would, just as I loved him and always would, although it was no romance and never would be. My mom always used to say "___ will always be there for you." I knew she loved him just like a son. But she was wrong. He's far from being there for me.

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[deleted]

I've never heard that expression before, Dazed, and am not entirely sure I understand it, except perhaps it means basically everyone is weird in their own way?

I'm not friends with my friend's wife. This is the first time I've met her, but I *thought* they had a good relationship and marriage and was happy for him. I expressed this both to him and his wife. I knew his previous wife and she was a nightmare. He was so unhappy, and he's a good guy and deserves to be treated well. He used to drive up and talk to me for HOURS about how miserable he was, and I hated it. I thought this wife was it, someone who finally appreciated him and treated him well. But now …

He *should* have told me about this problem so I could anticipate it, but I was blindsided. It's true, I don't know if his email and texts were written by him or by her, but at the end of the day, the buck stops with him, not her. I did call him back, but it went to voicemail, and then I read his email and he said there would be NO MORE contact between us, period. It's all so shocking and, well, very unhealthy, but there's nothing more I can do about it. It's all up to him. Either he grows a set and doesn't pander to her, or not. He HAS to know this is fvcked up and wrong.

Anyhow, maybe I'll move here anyway. It is breathtakingly beautiful, and I also know there are down sides to it. The question is, can I live with the down sides? I don't know. It is friendly though, and I love that.

Starting the journey back home tomorrow. With, granted, a heavy heart, but will do my best to enjoy it, with my boo girl. Thank god I have her with me, and that she's okay! I love her pretty bad :]

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Nooo! Catbookss, I'm posting this publicly because I think it may benefit other people, especially women of a certain age traveling solo.

Several years ago, I moved IN NOVEMBER to far Northern Maine, north of Caribou. The closest thing to my house was the border crossing. I didn't travel to meet a friend, like you. The first thing to hit me was the property owner's lie about the home's location. I sent Google an email about its messed up maps; Google sent me two "Thank You's." The second thing: I did not know how huge an issue drugs are in the state, but the Acadians with whom I shared the building behavior scared me stiff. I was three hours away from the U.S.--yes, the U.S., because northern Maine--is not southern Maine.

My formerly perfect older car froze almost to death. Local merchants lied through their teeth to me (and certainly some were quite nice.) My point is that although after the inclement place eventually made me flee in the middle of a winter night, by sticking it out, when I returned to my starting-place, I knew IN MY BONES, I'd "bloom where I was planted."

There is a great future ahead of anyone--especially any woman--who has the guts to go it alone on a road trip to a place called Who Knows? But you did it! You did it, girl! You're younger by far than you were when you set out because youth of spirit has to be earned.

Reading what you wrote above is so reminiscent of what my family member went through--the punch-drunk shock, the need to howl, How could you! I will never forget hearing, halfway from LA, halfway to Pennsylvania, my relative's numb, "I don't understand. I don't understand." Well, here's what it is: THEIR encroaching senility. THEIR dread of life. THEIR wish to displace THEIR pain on someone, anyone, any*thing*--like vampires. They knew what you would go through, and your dog along with you. Forget them, and please, please, stay long enough to remember them only as potholes you had to avoid. God bless.

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Wow, Diggory, that's quite the cautionary tale. From where were you moving when you moved to Maine's virtual North Pole?

I'm surprised to hear drugs are a big issue there, but then I was surprised to learn there is a *lot* of drug trafficking (mostly meth) from here to across the country on the I-40.

Yep, I did it! I wanted very much to call the whole thing off, but I did it anyway. Thanks for the acknowledgement :). So, now I've been on a drive, solo, virtually across the entire country, although I have to say, especially after the debacle, I'm very, very glad to have had my girlie's soothing company. Plus, you know what? With the exception of ONE person (aside from my oldest friend's debil spawn of a wife), every.single.person I've met along the way has been as friendly as could be. I've loved meeting all these people!

Isn't it bizarre that your family member went through such a similar ordeal? Yeah, me too with the "I don't understand, I don't understand." In this case I don't think it's impending senility, but I do think it was her displacing her pain and insecurity onto me. I had to leave anyway, so that's okay. But I'll do my best to enjoy the rest of the trip :). Thank you for your support!

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[deleted]

"It reminded me of the dinner party from hell,with my lecherous 70 year old landlord and his plastic-surgeried wife.They both drank steadily whilst regaling us with just about every damn thing that ever happened to them.Beforehand I'd worried to my husband about what would we say if the conversation became stilted! I needn't have worried,we didn't get a word in edgeways."

Too funny! I'll bet you two were relieved when you could finally escape.

Yep, it was like that. I like hearing people's stories, so for a while I didn't mind. Wish there were some way for me to tally up how many people's names they mentioned. And I don't mean people like her son and ex husband. Of course she'd tell me people's names who were important to her. But friends (not close friends), acquaintances, and their spouses's names too. Enough! I was having a hard enough time retaining the names of the towns around there that sounded promising, plus freeways, streets.

Funny thing is she complained about someone (another name!) who did the exact same thing, and how she didn't like it.

I hope I will laugh about this someday. Meanwhile, I want to enjoy the rest of this trip as much as possible, and yes, get home safely.

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I'm sorry that things worked out the way they did with your family in Dallas. That sucks :(

Very soon I'm going to be in the same position, except sans spouse. Let me tell you, I'm hardly looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas in particular. It'll be me and my dog, and I doubt I'll even get a text from my brother, and for certain not my oldest friend.

I am glad you packed up and moved back to FL. God bless you both.

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@Cat
Well, wasn't that just hunky-dorey? You drive all those many miles to visit "friends" at their invite, to stay at their house only to be treated like a pariah! Seriously I would not have stayed another night. You seemed to have fallen in love with the state, so my suggestion would be to check out the Blue Ridge area. Go home, check out the towns & cities, talk to realtors, etc. Find a place to rent until you get your bearings. I purchased this lot via Google. I walked & drove the streets. The first day we saw it was the day we drove in from FL with plans to close.

I know one damn thing, if I were you I would never contact them again. As I wrote before, I would settle many, many miles from them. They wouldn't know I was there. When you do find that special place, remember the wise adage: "Good fences make good neighbors!"

Inquisitive minds need to know all what occurred. What was she talking about during that last evening to set her off and did he offer any further explanation? I'm sure you were dumbfounded and deeply hurt. Another good thing about NC, people from the south like to visit there. Your friend in Tampa would be much closer and you all could visit back and forth.

Apparently you are estranged from your brother. So am I. I haven't seen him in over 30 yrs. I think he lives in San Diego. Our oldest grandson also lives there without each one being aware of the other. I'll never see either one again....sad, isn't it?

Be safe in your journey back and Godspeed!

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Just about heading out. Have to break down computer. Will write from wherever I land tonight, if I can get decent enough Wifi!

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Luckily the Wifi in this (otherwise sucky) motel ROCKS! It's lightning fast and they don't even charge extra for it. Woman at the desk was very nice, but the place is right off the highway, and it's ugly. I'm in Cooksville, TN. Wanted to make it to the other side of Nashville, but I am TIRED. It was only around 3:00 PM and I was worried I might fall asleep at the wheel. So, Cooksville it is.

I had to stay that night. It was very late, and trying to pack up and navigate my way to a hotel at that hour with no phone and no GPS, well, SCREW the b!tch wife. It was her fault anyway, so if she was "inconvenienced" by feeling she had to get out of the house until I could pack up and leave, instead of acting like a GROWN UP and apologising, tough luck.

I found my realtor! He's a buyer's agent too, and is absolutely wonderful. But, I still have some processing to do before deciding if I really do want to move there or not at this point. A big draw for me was my "brother" being there. He was going to introduce me to his friends, and that would have helped too. But, oh well.

I'm with you on not ever contacting them. NO WAY would I contact Debil Spawn Wife; she's toxic. My friend? Nope, not contacting him either. TBH, I'd thought by now he'd have contacted me, even if just to apologise, but no.

I DON'T KNOW what she was talking about, or that I was, when she went off on me, and the only explanation he offered was asking me if she'd been drinking. When I said yes (honestly I had been drinking wine along with her), he said this has been a problem in their marriage and to let him handle it. So I thought he would. Yep, exactly right, dumbfounded and hurt. Still am. I imagine it's going to take a while for this to settle.

I would LOVE it if I moved there and my Lakeland friend, who is a very, very good friend, would come visit. At least we'd finally be in the same time zone, if nothing else :)

It sucks being estranged from your sibling. (out of space, con'td)

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@Cat,

"It was her fault anyway, so if she was "inconvenienced" by feeling she had to get out of the house until I could pack up and leave, instead of acting like a GROWN UP and apologising, tough luck."

How many nights did you spend with them & did you sense anything amiss before that evening? This occurance is strange to say the least! Did your friend not respond when you informed him, other than to inquire if his whacked wife was drinking. You knew the visit definitely had went downhill when she remarked she couldn't be in the same house with you while you packed. OMGosh! How utterly horrible!

You stated it was her idea or she welcomed the visit? I touched on something briefly in a prior post, but the more I think about it maybe my thought would have some merit. Was she aware before your visit that you were looking to relocate? Or, was it after you arrived you informed them you would like to move there? If it was the latter, maybe the "Green Eyed Monster" also came to visit and wifey saw you as a threat.

Which brings up another thought. NC is a big state. There are plenty of places to choose from without them ever knowing you had moved to the state. And, Lakeland is a one day drive or a straight through flight to Charlotte.

You mention about being alone except for having "Sweet Girl". Hmm? Sweet Girl....From now on that is my name for her! Anyhow, do you have anyone where you currently live to share Thanksgiving & Christmas. If not, go for the move, but go closer to the Blue Ridge area.

Sad to say, but my brother is someone I used to know. I hardly think of him.

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I can relate to the problem of an estranged brother. I got word two weeks ago, mine had committed suicide. I went through a range of emotions trying to process it and I'm still doing so. It also still feels somewhat surreal.

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How tragic! I suppose we all go through life with "what ifs" in our thoughts and actions. May God grant you peace and no guilt.

I also have not seen or talked to my oldest daughter in 11 years even though for most of those years we lived less than 20 miles apart. She wrote me off...I don't exist.

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Yes, the end result for me has been a sense of closure and justice because I was also unjustly demonized and ostracized by certain family members.

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I am so sorry, Db. What an awful, heartbreaking thing for you. I hardly know what to say, except my heart goes out to you.

What a terrible, shocking loss. Of course it still feels surreal to you. I wish you all the best.

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I appreciate your empathy, Cat and while there's been some sadness, it's not as if I'm grief stricken. I only brought this up because I was able to relate to both you and kspkap and it seemed like a timely coincidence. He turned on me inexplicably 25 years ago as yours appears to have done and caused me a lot of turmoil and misery ever since then.

And I wish you a safe trip home and encourage you to sample some good truck stop food while you still have the opportunity. 😉

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It's such a strange thing when a family member inexplicably turns on you like this. But, nothing we can do except deal with it as best we can.

Ah, I TRIED to find some good truck stop food places on the way. The I-40 is a serious trucking route, so you'd think these places would be everywhere. Nope! Found one that was sort of kind of that. The most I've seen anyway. But the food sucked.

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Something's weird on MC tonight. I wrote a response to Diggery and first got that my post had no content. 2nd attempt it only posted half of what I wrote, and I've gotten no notification you responded.

ANYhow, I spent I think 5 nights there, and while I didn't feel she and I had any great connection, and after a day or two of it, grew weary of being "the good listener," I didn't particularly sense anything amiss. I did tell my friend, when we were alone the 2nd night that while I didn't mind listening to his many stories (many of which involved the names of people I didn't know nor am I ever likely to know them, ditto his wife's stories), things were out of balance, and I needed it to be more of a give and take thing. Many times I felt like I could hardly get a word in edgewise, with both of them. Which is why it was so ironic that she flipped out and accused me of interrupting and not listening to her! Occasionally she did listen, but most of the time she was off and running about her own stories after all I could get out was a sentence. If that.

My old friend, on the other hand, did hear me and adjusted accordingly.

No, all he did was ask if she'd been drinking, and when I said yes, said this has been a problem in their marriage. That's all I know.

Somewhere around 4-4:30 AM, while I was upstairs, I heard her screaming at him. No idea what she was saying, didn't even try to hear, nor did I care. All I knew was it sucked, no matter what she was saying. But I really did think it was likely by the following morning she'd sober up and realise how much she'd overreacted. Yeah, I was wrong. (Running out of space, cont'd in next post)

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Yes, it was originally HER idea that I move there, which makes all of this even more bizarre than it already is. Yes, she knew I was looking to relocate. That was the point of me coming to visit, because there was NO WAY I could move somewhere I'd never been to before, no matter how much he and she loved it.

I'd only want to move to Asheville or its surrounds, not NC in general. But, it's a sizable city, much bigger than I'd thought, and should I run into them if I decide to move there, so the eff what. That'd be their problem, not mine.

Funny, a one-day drive, before this trip, sounded like an undoable eternity, but now? It sounds doable and not all that bad.

Sweet Girl is an entirely appropriate name for her. Nope, no one to spend either T-Day or Christmas with anymore. Sad, because I truly love those holidays, but, it is what it is. I can do T-Day alone okay because I like to spend the day being reflective and thankful. But Christmas, to me, is a family holiday. Except now I have no more family. I'm so sorry things got so bad with your brother, Ksp. I'm glad you hardly think of him anymore, but it's still very sad.

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Without rereading your prior posts, I think I recall this was your first time meeting the wife. Situations and lives change through the years. Your friend could have been attempting to cover his wife's rudeness by blaming the drink. I think what you found out is the fact you no longer have things in common.....the repetitive boring tales in which you weren't involved and didn't enjoy hearing. You three ran out of things to say to each other. Instead of being a close friend, almost family, to the guy you instead became a guest. An old saying comes to mind...."you have to tolerate family, but guests are like fish after three days."

Something you could do at Thanksgiving which I was going to do the year I was here by myself. That being to serve Thanksgiving dinner at one of the food banks or wherever those dinners are served. I had moved here alone in Nov. 2009. I checked around, but not knowing the area or any people to join with I let it slide. I pretty much sheltered in place other than interviewing builders and going down the road to Wally World.

Yes, after your cross country trip, a drive to Lakeland would be a piece of cake. There is much to see and do between NC and Florida.

Christmas could be a time to renew old friendships (except for the ones you just left). Your friend in Lakeland...you could visit her or vice versa. Also to make new ones. Also, maybe volunteer at the local animal shelter. The ones which have a no-kill policy.

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Oh no, there was no lack of topics to talk about, LOL! He and I have kept in touch over the years, so it's not that either. Since his first question was to ask if she'd been drinking, and he said this has been a problem in their marriage, I believe him.

It is a good idea about Thanksgiving. I might do that.

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This is a new thing with my brother and me, unlike with you, which is even sadder. (Over 30 years?!) My brother and I had always had an overall great relationship. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought what's happened between us would happen. At one point, 2-3 months ago, I actually had to call the sheriff on him! Jesus H Christ. My mom would be turning over in her grave.

Things were escalating, and it went from his screaming at me to coming *very* close to his being physically violent to me. I had to protect myself. (As if I hadn't already been through effing enough as it was!) I feared he really would assault me if there were a next time, and I wanted it on record with the police. I also wanted them to call and talk to him, so he'd know how serious this was and to prevent him from going further.

Bizarrely, he never mentioned it to me! So I didn't know if they'd called and spoken to him or not, until I finally mentioned it. To give him some credit, he said I'd done the right thing by calling the sheriff on him.

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"I had to cross a ginormous bridge..." That was the Great Mississippi River you crossed, Madam. Tom Sawyer's river.

"NO thanks to the GPS, which got me more lost than I've ever been in my entire life,"

OMGosh! Talk about freaking out! You can't completely trust the apps for GPS. That's why I have purchased several Garmins through the years with free lifetime updates. Currently I own the largest screen Garmin makes....7in. Garmin also permits you to make alerts to road changes. I was aware a new road had been constructed in my home town; part of my property was seized via eminent domain for the road which was completed in 2013. In 2014 the road was not shown in the Garmin maps. I e-mailed Garmin with the info. As a result the map for the area was completely changed. A new update brought the road into view.

You would have done better finding the "(awful)" motel using Google maps! In case you've never seen the Grade C movie, "College Road Trip" 2008, it's worth a look to see how lost you can get using a GPS. Very funny, but don't expect much more in substance...Donny Osmond is part of the cast. What can I say?

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I had no idea that was the Mississippi! It was too dark, and I wasn't even sure there was a river or a stream or anything else below that very big bridge.

So I found out, that you can't trust the GPS. Memphis was the WORST! All the other cities I've been able to deal with, but not Memphis. The motel there, actually Lakeland, just beyond Memphis, had THE WORST motel clerk that night, it took me forever to get any kind of Wifi, clerk was surly and extremely unhelpful (clerk in the morning was fine) and was impossible in the morning which meant I had no way to book anything the next day, or even know where I was going, beyond heading on the I-40 east. NO WAY will I stay at that place on the way back home.

Google Maps, BTW, was no more helpful than the app Waze, which is supposed to be the best one. Meanwhile my 4-month old phone/battery went belly-up, with flashing red light and black screen, for no reason I could figure out. Thanks to YouTube, it said to remove battery for a brief time and then reboot to fix that, but it did the same the next day. Am going to have to figure this out before I head back home. At least I know it's the I-40 back, until I hit somewhere around LA and can probably figure it out from that point on.

Christ, what a journey. I will say it's absolutely beautiful here and there's a 99% chance of me moving there.

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What a journey you did make. You don't know how much credit I give you for undertaking it. To top it off, driving at night in an unfamiliar area. Why didn't you stop before dark? How did your pooch do? Poor thing. I hope she finally realized a car trip doesn't mean a drop off. I never asked you why her back legs are in such bad shape. Is it do to age or something else? Take your phone to a corporate store...it may be the phone. You don't want to start out for the trip back w/o a phone. Pick up an auto charger to keep it charged.

Next big question. What area of NC? Maybe the Blueridge? I wanted to move there and build a log home, husband said to cold. The state is one of the most beautiful. A lot of half-backs move there. They are yankees who move to Florida, decide they don't like the heat & bugs so they go half back ending up in NC.

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Thank you, Ksp. I think I really do need to give myself credit here, because the fact is there were times when it was f'ing scary.

The worst was going through Memphis, without question. I HATE going through downtown LA and this was worse than that because it was just as big, 5 lanes going either way, but I hadn't a clue where I was going. Motel clerk was surly when I called and although she told me the number of the exit, I didn't know if I'd already passed it or had to go farther, and she obviously couldn't give a sh!t. Plus once I finally got there, she was just as bad, the room was filthy, and I hated the whole experience. The only thing that saved it was the morning clerk was nice. NO WAY will I stay there on the way home, or ever again.

Tomorrow my old friend will take me to a store to figure out WTH is up with my phone so (hopefully) I won't be stranded again. Good thing this trip to and fro is all on the I-40 else I'd have been royally scr3wed. It was bad enough as it was with all the exchanges, but I did eventually make it.

Not enough time or energy to explain about my dog now. She's ok, but I'm still worried about her injured hind legs due to all the in and out of the car, and up and down the stairs here. Have to lift her (she's 70 pounds!) in and out of the car, I discovered, and it's hard, but as long as my back can take it, I'll do it because I'd rather that than further injure her legs.

Asheville, NC, which I've discovered is a MUCH bigger area than I'd realised. There are pluses and minuses to that. I'd love to buy either a 1920s-40s craftsman house or a log cabin house, with some land. Doesn't have to be a lot, just more than a few acres, and with a stream or creek, and wooded.

Haven't yet been on the Blue Ridge Mountain road, but I will go on it. Not this trip, because I don't have enough time. It's not cold here. There are no extremes in temperature. It only snows a few days a year, if that, and melts by the following day.

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There are lots of Floridians here, so I hear. Also folks from NY and CA. I hear those who move from NY to FL and then to NC are called "halfbacks" because they move from FL to NC, which is half the way back to NY :)

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Oh, wow! Did you have to have your card frozen, or was it still okay?

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Had to cancel the card, which is a bummer as I used it to auto-pay a few payments, and am not able to get a replacement because there's no branch within 300 miles of here, and you have to go into a branch to get a replacement.

Ended up having to write a check for cash so I had something on me. Better than nothing!

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Sorry that you had so much trouble, Catbookss.

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@mplo

I think you were asking Cat about her card being frozen, but somehow your question ended up in my notifications.

I'm going back to addressing the person I'm replying to by using the @ sign with the person's ID. This format is too confusing. I wish Jim would reformat the site to make it more user friendly....like...ahem, gulp...IMDB.

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Sorry about that, kspkap. Thank you for correcting me. My bad.

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@mplo
No problem! You didn't have a "bad".:) 🤗Your reply could have pertained to me also; as you will see if you read my post further up. In fact I thought you were replying to me until I read your following reply with Catbookss included in the reply. This format is confusing. Sometimes when I reply, I have to search to see who I replied to because the post and my reply are so far apart! 😳This is why I'm going to start using the @ sign again.
Have a good one!

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Okay. Thanks, kspkap.

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There is no In-n-out Burger in NC. Turn around before it's too late!

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I'm now (FINALLY, after being completely and utterly lost in downtown Memphis) somewhere outside of Memphis. But, you say there's no In-N-Out Burger in NC? I'm heading back home, NOW!

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Just what in the heck is a In-N-Out Burger? I'm still looking for a Red Robin which advertises in areas where there isn't one!

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They are a great burger chain, only located in the west/southwest and Texas. Very simple menu - just burgers, fries, milkshakes and sodas, but everything is fresh and carefully prepared.

Red Robin is pretty good too. Now I'm hungry! 🍔 🍟

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Me, too! I wish the South would get good burger chains. Now I'll go get my Greek yogurt....😟

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Jack's right, In-N-Out has a very short, simple menu, but dayum, what they do serve is excellent. It almost doesn't feel like fast food.

You can watch them take big spuds and put them into a thing that makes fries out of them, then into the frier, and then directly to you if that's part of your order. Their fries are great, but I rarely order them, just the burger, which has actual fresh tomato and green lettuce, plus a slice of fresh onion if you want it, and sauce.

Much as I love Asheville, there's NO WAY I'm willing to trade it for Waffles Houses and the ubiquitous Subways & McDonalds, although I have to say I had a guacamole and pico burger on a sesame bun from McDonald's that was pretty darned good.

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I've driven long distances on the road, so I'm no stranger to that. As a woman driving long distances alone, however, I make it a point not to drive really late at night, and, when I go to bed down for the night, not to pull into a place that looks questionable, or that is too far off of the beaten path, if one gets the drift. I've been making the reservations for my stopovers in advance, which helps, a great deal, too.

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Thanks, Mplo.

I've made reservations when possible, although that's not always possible, and have avoided driving at night whenever that's possible, particularly from dusk to dark, and when the road winds up or down mountains.

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Hi, Catbookss.

You're welcome. Glad your trip worked out for you. From what I read/heard about the weather, it sounds like you did the best and the smartest thing by postponing your trip. Glad you enjoyed yourself, and enjoyed seeing your old friend, as well.

I drive early in the evening, sometimes even when it's already dark, but I won't drive during really late hours. Since I've been an AAA member for the past 25 years, I always order a Trip-Tix, which gives me the most direct routes out there and back. It pays to do that, as well. I also have a smart-phone, in which I've downloaded the Waze app, so I can also use it as a GPS. It's got a voice that gives directions, as well, so I don't have to take my eyes off the road to look at it. I've used it to get to places I'm not familiar with, plus it's saved me wear and tear on my nerves during rush-hour, which can be really hellacious in the Boston area, because it often routes me onto the back roads, thus enabling me to avoid the worst of the rush-hour traffic. It's cool.

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Hi Mplo,

Turned out the weather was bad here during Irma, although obviously nowhere near as bad as it was in FL, or even GA or SNC. The whole thing wasn't, thankfully, anywhere near as bad as anticipated! But I'm very glad I waited before traveling.

Waze is the app the guy at the car rental agency installed on my phone and he said it was the best, but it went out on me when I hit Memphis, and I still don't know why, or how to prevent it from happening again. For some reason I don't understand, the voice directions stopped before I even got on the freeway, yet worked up until that point.

I'm glad it's worked so well for you and has saved you a lot of stress.

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Sorry that you had such a problem with Waze, Catbookss. I wonder if the weather might've had at least something to do with it, however.

I remember taking a road trip up to Portsmouth, NH (which is roughly an hour north of the Bay State), for a screening of the film West Side Story, using both Route 1 and Route I-95 to get there, and having no trouble. Maybe the fact that it was a nice, bright and sunny spring day helped a great deal. Who knows?

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Boy, yes, it was EXTREMELY stressful. But, we finally made it on the road late Monday afternoon! It took TEN HOURS to get from my starting point to the first stop, in Arizona, which was only supposed to take 8 hours tops, but the traffic through LA and surrounds was insane.

Anyway, who cares. This is night #2. I'm exhausted. Only got 3 hours of sleep last night because I got in at 2:00 AM. Should have a *very* good night's sleep tonight. Powered through 600 miles today anyway. Tonight's hotel room is a zillion times better than last night's, which was more expensive, smaller, didn't have a mini fridge or microwave, and was vaguely creepy, but doable.

It's fun to meet other people who are on the road, going one way or the other, most of them also with their dogs. First leg was beautiful to begin with, but then got dark all too soon so I didn't see anything of the places I traveled through. Today I did! That made a world of difference. Some was boring, but some was visually stunning.

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[deleted]

It's such a big relief to FINALLY be on this trip! Honestly, if I'd had a choice, I'd have called it off, but I didn't. Now I'm glad though. Today, while being scarily tired to drive such a distance, parts of it were so beautiful.

My girly is still very afraid I'm going to abandon her in a motel room, but is slowly becoming less so, thankfully. I'm learning how to lift her in and out of the car so her hind legs aren't further injured. I agree, the main thing for her is that I'm with her, and WILL NOT leave her. Ever. I think she'll come to realise that, eventually.

Ick, the overly ornamented hotel rooms, with the creepy paintings. Luckily this one has very minimal of both.

Not sure when I'll be able to hook this thing up and respond again. In the meantime, if I can't, you and everyone else, be well :)

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You did the wise thing by re-scheduling your trip to visit your friend who lives near Tampa, FL. Here's hoping you had a good time visiting your friend, when you finally did get to go.

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Thanks. So far, so good. Not visiting my friend near Tampa (that's another dear friend), but one who's in Asheville, NC. Turned out Irma hit here too, although obviously noy nearly as bad as it did in FL, so I'm very glad I called off the trip and even more glad that Irma wasn't anywhere *near* as destructive and deadly as had been anticipated.

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Again, you're welcome, Catbookss. It's good that you called off the trip, and visited your friend in Asheville, NC, where Irma's fury wasn't as destructive.

The fact that Florida is totally surrounded by water is what makes it so vulnerable to being totally inundated when hurricanes and other natural disasters hit.

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On our way from somewhere just east of Little Rock to Amarillo. Google says that's just over 8 hours, so I'm expecting it to be more like 9 or maybe (gulp) 10. I'M SO FREAKING SICK OF DRIVING!

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Take a break,then...

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@cat,

Driving does get old, doesn't it?

If you're not on a time schedule, except for the rental car, take a break. Oklahoma City is about half way between Little Rock & Amarillo. Spend the night in OK City and visit the Federal Bldg Memorial built to honor those affected by the. bombing on April 19, 1995.

"The Oklahoma City National Memorial is a memorial in the United States that honors the victims, survivors, rescuers, and all who were affected by the Oklahoma City bombing on April 19, 1995. Wikipedia"

https://www.google.com/search?q=oklahoma+city+memorial&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari#fpstate=lie

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@ catbookss--

You should be singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" somewhere along this stretch.

Put a Tiger in Your Tank!

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@DiggoryVenn

Very good!🤠 But, from the sound of it, Cat doesn't seem to be in the mood for singing songs from "Oklahoma"!!

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Well, it might lift her spirits to sing songs about every state she passes through...although I personally can't think of any about New Mexico 🇲🇽 🇺🇸😀

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@DiggoryVenn

Ahem...."O, Fair New Mexico"😟 Let's all sing together now:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iRxwk0wphK0

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:) How--o, how--could I forget "O, Fair New Mexico?"

I doff my old Maine Elmer Fudd hat--and also my miner's helmet--to this lovely song.

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@DiggoryVenn

BTW, she's unable to sing the US national anthem. Why not?🤔 She's driving and cannot get down on her knee! 😔😪

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Yes, it certainly does, Ksp. And I feel very bad for Sweet Girl, as I can see all of these hours in the car are taking a toll on her. She still has very little appetite, she's panting a lot, even with the air conditioning on all the time and the car stays cool.

I rented the car by the week, which is why I got a good rate. The woman told me they don't prorate and I'll end up paying a good amount if I don't return it by Tuesday. Tomorrow and going to call and ask HOW MUCH is a lot, because the reality is, I simply cannot make it back there by Tuesday.

I'm in Sayre, OK, which isn't too far from the TX border. I give one H3LL of a lot of credit for me getting this far, and having a motel room, and also not killing myself by attempting to drive us all the way to Amarillo, to Diggory!!! YOU, my friend, are an angel I'll never forget.

BTW, when I entered OK going east, I did sing a few bars of "Oh What A Beautiful Morning!"

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@Cat
How long has Sweet Girl been a part of your life? I think I recall you fostered her before adopting. I have a feeling she had a very unsettled life before you became her mama. Is it possible she continues to associate "the car" with abandonment? If so, she will never be comfortable being in one. You will never know what she through in her life, but the separation anxiety disorder apparently manifests itself inside the vehicle.

When my daughter & family acquired (actually rescued) their terrier mix little one, it was impossible for anyone to leave the house without him going crazy. He would attempt to block them from the door...all ten lbs. of him! I think he was about 4 yrs when he became a part of their family. They got him from a private owner with a kid who, from what we could see, teased the little one unmercifully while keeping him penned....then they would leave the house. Leaving him alone all day. We don't know the full story, but we don't think it was a good one.

I became the mama of a 1 1/2 lb. yorkie who lived in a bathroom for the first 3 yrs. of her life while the owner was away all day. When I arrived home I sat her down on the floor and she danced...she was free and she wasn't alone any longer. But, the separation anxiety became apparent the next morning as my husband opened the door to leave for work. She was not going to tolerate anyone leaving her again! That itty-bitty thing started biting his shoes and barking as loud as that little body would let her. She tried to stop him and continued to try every morning for the one year we had the precious little thing. Another story for another time.😭😭😭😭

I believe Sweet Girl will become settled once you arrive home and realizes she can relax. No more cars, strange places each night with strange people,etc. Wouldn't it be great if they could tell us why they are behaving out of sorts? But, then again....maybe they are.

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3.5 years now, and yes I fostered her before adopting. She had a very, very settled live prior to me, which is why all the disruption and abandonment was so hard on her. I'd never seen a dog with this high a level of fear of abandonment, but I know how to rehab, so gradually she got over that. Until we had to move, then I had to kind of start the process over again, but it didn't take nearly as long as the first time.

She doesn't mind the car, but a very long trip is something different and I know she's never been on one before. Right now she's lying and relaxing outside the motel room door, which is open. But yes, I know she'll be VERY glad to be home, where everything is normal and expected again.

Poor little 10 lb terrier, being teased unmercifully, then penned and being left alone all day! Likewise poor little Yorkie, left locked in a bathroom all day for the first 3 years of her life!

I don't blame either of them for acting that way, nor do I blame Sweet Girl. They had it tough.

Oh god YES, thousands of times I've wished they could tell us what they're feeling, and why, and we could explain things to them.

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You're getting closer to In-n-Out Burger country now. Things will get better from this point on.

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:) I wonder where the nearest one is. Will check tonight once I'm in the hotel and wired up again.

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