When I was in my 40s, I had so much happening that I feared it was Alzheimer's Disease. It kept getting worse. Then, a different problem ended with me in a wheelchair in the Emergency Room, waiting hours while test results came in. I knew it might be Lupus, but there were other problems.
I have what then was called Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome plus fibromyalgia. Toss in ADHD that I never knew I had. Eventually, this and more led to being declared disabled several years ago though I can't remember when it was. One step along the way was a session with a psychiatrist, during which he presented me with a variety of mental tests: spelling words backward, remembering six digits forwards and backwards, repeating a name and address, etc. Sadly, I couldn't do any of these things, and I admitted to him that I was aware my mental processing was deteriorating and was interfering with work. I also destroyed more than one teakettle when I'd forget it was on the stove. I understand her finding Dove shampoo in the refrigerator, as that has happened for years, including getting lost in a city I've lived in since 1961.
I count myself more fortunate than those with an Alzheimer's diagnosis. I understand forgetting, as I have problems with short-term memory, as well as loss of chunks of long-term memory.
My mother's younger sister was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease about a year ago, which is heartbreaking. Everyone on both sides of the family had remained alert and aware; this is a first for us. We have all sorts of health problems but, as far as we're aware, nothing like this till now.
I understand her fears when she can't find things, forget things and gets confused. It's terrifying! Then, you have people telling you, "Everyone forgets things!" They don't understand that it's every day and every night for years or what it feels like to panic because I set down an item then can't remember where it is or letting that kettle boil dry or feeling that I'm lost when I'm driving somewhere on a "cloudy brain" day.
I worry about my aunt a lot, wondering when she will go away from us. She still seems fine though she's dealing with many other health issues too and a husband who has cancer.
Sorry... I tend to babble. I always figure that people can ignore my posts, and sometimes I come back to delete them when I feel stupid about what I wrote.
(W)hat are we without our dreams?
Making sure our fantasies
Do not overpower our realities. ~ RC
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