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Serioulsy-- why does it make men mad if a woman weighs more than 125lbs?

posted 9 years ago by Jupiter555555
196 replies | jump to latest

This is a genuine question. I've encountered it many times (online only), and I want to know why.

Is it because men think we owe it to them to look a certain way for them? And if we drop the ball, we're somehow disrespecting them personally?

Is it transference from some deeply lamented physical flaw that they have and they want to make sure others feel the same pain relating to insecurity? Or like a, "how dare YOU not be consumed with the obsession to look a certain way that I am? How dare you be that carefree!" I mean..I'm at a loss here, what is it?

Or maybe it's women masked as men who are like, "I worked so hard to get down to 118, now if bigger women start becoming acceptable, it was all a waste!" Because honestly I don't encounter this anti-chubby sentiment in real life, only online. I say anti-chubby because really the weight they're targeting doesn't even rise to the level of obesity.

I can understand morbidly obese people being a drain on economics, if it is or was at one point within their control to prevent..that could elicit some political anger..but 145-180 just isn't that big of a deal. Why the hostility and range????

---- Edit: 9 months after original post-----
I believe I've solved the puzzle. Often the word "lazy" comes up which is weird... why do you care if someone else is lazy when it isn't affecting you? Well, what they mean is, "If you wanted to change your appearance and be what I want you to be, you would! The fact that you're not doing it means you don't care about my assessment of your body!!" And there lays the problem: When women defiantly continue to eat and maintain a bigger weight that some men find unacceptable, it is a reminder of their insignificance. These women don't care what these men think or say about them..and they take issue with that.

I also think it has to do with guys who are maybe shorter or social recluses who feel they don't have the pick of the litter when it comes to dating... so they feel they can bully their options into becoming skinnier (not considering the fact that if they were skinnier, they'd probably diet and exercise their way right out of the guy's league.)

Thanks for a rousing debate, everyone! I'm sure it'll continue for years to come... 

[–] Sutanrei 9 years ago

Chubs are unattractive. I'm in good physical shape and I won't take a woman who is any less. 125 or bust.

[–] snny_d 8 years ago

it's a healthy weight for the height of the average woman, around 5'5". it's not weird for someone to desire to be with somebody who knows how to stay healthy, through healthy eating and exercise. If someone is irresponsible about their health, it likely leads to irresponsibility in other areas. It's just common sense. Go vegan and go jogging from time to time. It's not rocket science to stay in shape.

[–] snny_d 8 years ago

it's a healthy weight for the height of the average woman, around 5'4". it's not weird for someone to desire to be with somebody who knows how to stay healthy, through healthy eating and exercise. If someone is irresponsible about their health, it likely leads to irresponsibility in other areas. It's just common sense. Go vegan and go jogging from time to time. It's not rocket science to stay in shape.

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Jupiter555555 8 years ago

So you're taking your short aggression out on fat girls. Got it, Napoleon. Thanks.

[–] dl4060 (58) 5 years ago

And you are taking out your issues with being fat on short men. Thanks.

[–] mdonln 8 years ago

maxchickens says > As men we get judged on traits we cannot control like our height. A women is fat due to her bad eating habits and lack of self discipline. We're allowed to judge fat women.

Or, put another way, we all have our own preferences and we get to decide who we will or will not date. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

There are online sites that cater solely to 'beautiful' people. They actively block out anyone they don't think are up to their standards. There are sites that cater to tall people, particular ethnic groups and lifestyles.

Some people get very offended by these exclusive groups of people. I never understand why that is. We all know there are shallow people in the world who only see people skin deep. They want to be seen with the 'right' type of person. It may be to bolster their egos, personal preference, societal norms, etc.

Who cares, really? I just wonder why anyone would want to be bothered with someone who doesn't want to be with them. Why do bald men want to 'prove' their worthiness to women who doesn't like baldness? Why should a fat girl want to be with a guy who judges her as lazy or unattractive?

I think the problem is a lack of self-acceptance. We seem to pay more attention to the people who reject us than the ones who embrace us. Just be yourself, love yourself and be whoever you are. If you don't like it, change it but don't blame someone else because you're not their ideal. In the scheme of things I think people who have very specific checklists may lose out on finding true and lasting love but maybe that's not what they're looking for.

Woman, man! That's the way it should be Tarzan. [Tarzan and his mate]

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] mdonln 8 years ago

maxchickens says > Its bigotry to judge people on traits they cannot control. Sorry ladies.

It's not the same as judging someone for something generic like a job. We're talking about attraction.

I don't have specific physical traits that I look for but I know what I like when I see it. Beyond that, the guy has to have personal characteristics that match his physical attributes. By that I mean he has to be a good person and comfortable in his own skin. If I have to constantly reassure him that I like him or if he's jealous of every other guy, he's definitely not for me.

Whatever he looks like, if he's anything like the main character in this movie, I'm out. Conversely, he has to be attracted to me. If he's always trying to change me to fit some mold, we can forget it.

Woman, man! That's the way it should be Tarzan. [Tarzan and his mate]

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

It doesn't make me mad at all.

[–] blue1981 (8017) a year ago

If a woman can make a demand a guy has to be over 6ft tall than he had a right to say he's not interested in women who are of a heavier body type. I'm 6'2" and glad I can have options not limitations. I don't care as long as any woman I'm interested in is at a healthy weight.

[–] BrandNewPoster (10996) a year ago

It doesn't. Men are not picky and do not care how much a woman weighs. An overweight woman has a much better chance at picking up a man than an overweight man does of picking up a woman.

[–] TrentnQuarantino (9381) a year ago

It makes us feel week when we cannot toss a sexy woman around like a Fleshlite!

(just kidding)