Best parts in the hobbit book

"And then Sauron captured Gandalf and put him in a cage. The End. Seriously, that's the end. For Sauron did not need any intelligence from Gandalf, as Gandalf did not know anything Sauron was not already aware of. Yet, Sauron did not slay his long-time foe. Most likely because he knew that if he slew him, decades later Gandalf would come back and defeat Sauron and all his well-laid plans. For you see, Sauron hated himself and wanted his plans to fail. If Gandalf was gone, the odds of him succeeding were almost guarenteed. Thus, with great wisdom to achieve his own failure, Sauron kept Gandalf alive and did nothing to him, awaiting those who would rescue Gandalf and eventually ruin all his plans. He was just that smart."

How about the scene with the Goblin King?

"The Great Goblin appeared in front of the group out of nowhere. Scowling at them with his giant scrotum beard waving about. His fearsome cry of "What are you going to do now, wizard?" terrified the group. Gandalf was at a total loss. Here he was, one of the most powerful beings in all of Middle Earth, armed with one of the most renowned blades in history, the bane of all goblins, and what was he going to do? I mean, the great goblin wasn't defending himself at all, and was alone, practically unarmed. Oh, what to do, what to do? Then Gandalf had an idea: he had killed goblins before by swinging his ultra powerful sword at them. So he tried it out again, not sure if it would actually work. It did."

And the dwarves went out of the river and were discussing what to do next when a grimm-faced man approached man, on his hands a bow and an arrow were prepared. When they noticed, Dwalin raised a cane for him to defend, but the man threw an arrow to its centre and, before anyone noticed, he had another arrow prepared that took a stone from Kili's hands harming no one.

Peter Jackson must be laughing about how blindly his fans behave on these boards.

"And then Radagast, with glorious bird poo matting his hair, told Gandalf that he would lead the orcs away from the company. He then proceeded to do everything in his power to not lead the orcs away from the company and expose them to the enemy. It was like a Benny Hill sketch, but those hadn't been invented yet. Because Radagast was a complete moron. It made Gandalf wonder which of them was the bigger fool: Radagast, or Gandalf for trusting Radagast."

LOL!

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