On tonight's new episode, Mike had every right to say what he said about not having a dinner ready. I am a woman and I agree. And not because I believe in gender roles. I understand Molly is writing a novel, but she is the one at home all day. And if I am not mistaken, she has no other job that takes her out of the house. She is the one at home, so she could have some dinner ready. Not to mention Mike has a draining and dangerous job. I mean how hard is it to at least put on a pot of canned soup and make a sandwich.
That episode annoyed me so much, which is a shame because it looks like that was last one. I completely agree, it's not sexist in the least that he expected Molly to cook and clean while he was at work all day, especially since she's not doing anything else. If the roles were reversed, it would be the same situation.
I think she would have been more diplomatic about it though. Him telling her in front of everyone that she shouldn't have gone out but should instead been home putting dinner on the table for her husband was ridiculous and of course she got angry.
It wasn't though about that. If he had said it like that I'm sure that Molly would have been fine with it. He started saying that it was her job and chastising her for being out when she should instead have a hot meal on the table for her husband when he came home. I'm sorry but that is just sexist and inconsiderate. And I love that Molly got angry with him.
I agree. Then she did it again and when complained about having to eat an old can of soup her remark about he could have had beets and peanuts, that really annoyed me. I would have thrown that soup at her and go out and get something better to eat. She needs to get a real job and forget about being a novelist. Glad he took advantage of her perfect housewife act.
Why shouldn't she? She was doing nothing all day, everyday. So I guess it would be ok with you if you worked all day and came home to your husband doing nothing all day but lounging around and hanging with his friends at the bar? I'm sure.
So what if she was doing nothing? It's not her job to cook his food. It's not like she was asking him to cook her food. No it was only his food, she had already eaten. So why was it too much for him to cook his own food?
If he was single would he just have starved because he couldn't cook for himself after work?
Because that is marriage. At the very least she could have let him know she was going out and not cooking dinner so he could have picked up something on the way home. Why should he have to work all day then have to come home and cook? She was doing nothing. Same goes if it were him home all day. He could cook. When both work, who ever got home first cooks and the other cleans up. If get home at the same time cook together or take turns. If she had been on a roll and writing all day, then not having dinner ready would be understandable.
No that is not marriage. She was not expecting him to cook her food, she had already eaten. So it was just his food. So why wasn't he able to cook his own food? Because he's married?
Yes, this wasn't about gender but about Molly being lazy and not being thoughtful. They also, as shows sometimes do, copied from the Jeffersons's episode in which Florence was giving George a taste of the maid he thought he'd wanted.
Good lord, this thread made me check my calendar. Some of these posts had me thinking I had somehow traveled back to 1950. What is with grown ass men who can't cook for themselves? A wife is not your mother nor your maid. Learn how to do things for yourself and stop whining about a woman not taking care of you. As for the person who asked who changes their own oil...plenty of people do! It's not difficult and it's kind of ridiculous to pay someone to do something that can so easily be done at home as long as you have the space, tools, and ability to do it yourself. This board always seems to attract so many feminist bashers. Do you people even understand what feminism is? Why are you so threatened by a woman who views herself as your equal instead of being a meek, obedient little housewife who never talks back or challenges you? Only insecure "men" want that type of woman. Thank goodness my parents raised my sister and me to be independent and capable of taking care of ourselves. And we were both smart enough to marry real men, who don't think our purpose in life is to cater to them nor to be chained to the kitchen and the bedroom.
Molly was home all day doing nothing, well sometimes drinking. Mike was working and then had to find time to cook his dinner, do his laundry, and such. If it cut into his sleep time then that could be an issue since he's a cop and carries a gun.
This isn't about feminism and many of the posts show that. It's about one not doing their part as a couple. He was out making the money so she could quit her job.
He could then pay for someone from a cleaning service if he didn't have to support Molly. He was not only supporting her after she quit her job but he inherited her the debt she had prior to their marriage. Molly's spending addiction was often mentioned.
She wasn't, at that time, doing anything constructive. Feminism isn't about being better or worse but having the same opportunities. Sometimes the man will still be the one going to work and the woman staying at home. It's the choice of those in the relationship. They both though should give something and not only take.
Exactly! This is just nonsense. Would he just sit there, weeping and soiling himself like an infant until a woman comes along to cook his food and fix him a plate? Does she need to cut it up and feed it to him as well? I just don't understand all of this disgust over a grown man having to cook his own food.
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A couple of you are just being sexist. He was out working to support the both of them. She wasn't working, even at home, so she should have been doing what had needed to be done there. It would have been different if she'd been working while at home and was busy. She though wasn't, she was then scared to write so partied.
Not many, man or woman, would want to work all day and have to do housework when they come home because they're supporting another who is doing nothing.
She wasn't expecting him to cook her dinner or clean her clothes or do dishes or vacuum the floor. All the man had to do was cook his own dinner. Is that too much for a grown man? Really?
I don't remember exactly but I believe the laundry was also an issue. it doesn't though matter as long as she was doing something rather than loafing.
The point though, as previously mentioned, was that he was out earning a living for the both of them while she did nothing to contribute. They were okay, except her debt and spending, before she quit her job. A relationship is a partnership. Both parties need to contribute something. If she didn't want to make dinner, then she could have done something else. She later spent her time actually writing.
She wasn't loafing. Her not cooking food for her husband is not loafing. The man is a grown up. He can make his own food.
And it doesn't matter that he was out earning a living. That doesn't make him entitled to someone cooking his food for him.
Edit: And I would like to add that it's not like he's working all that hard anyway. He seems to spend most of his time sitting on his ass in a squad car chatting with Carl or sitting on his ass eating at Abe's again chatting with Carl.
She was loafing because she wasn't doing anything but partying. Again, the dinner realy didn't have anything to do with it. He was working while she was doing nothing. You know that.
People aren't busy every minute they are working. I hope you know that, or at least not always busy at school. He and Carl though were out of the house, driving along as cops do, and on call during and sometimes even off his shift. Abe's is shown during their lunch break.
I believe you're trolling so you can have it. I'll place you on my ignore list. Have fun as you seem to be.
No I'm not trolling but it's clear that you can't handle the fact that people disagree with you. That's your problem. Not mine.
And just because someone is out of the house and earning money doesn't mean that they a)are automatically working hard and b) deserve someone cooking them dinner at home. Mike is not someone that works hard. He's a slacker (him and Carl). So why shouldn't he be able to cook his own dinner when he gets home? It's not like he's been out digging ditches. the man seems to barely walk during the day.
And besides, no man should ever say to a woman that she shouldn't have been out but should instead have been home putting dinner on the table for her husband. That's something that should never be uttered by a man ever.
Edit: And I would like to add that it's not like he's working all that hard anyway. He seems to spend most of his time sitting on his ass in a squad car chatting with Carl or sitting on his ass eating at Abe's again chatting with Carl.
Agree with you yet again. Mike has been shown having breakfast at Abe's, lunch at Abe's, and an evening meal at Abe's. I would think he could fend for himself for a couple of hours while his wife is out "loafing." This board is hilarious. She was hanging out having fun with her mom and sister. Some of these people act like she's hanging in the streets in the middle of the night, leaving her poor helpless husband all alone to starve to death. And if I recall correctly, Molly told Mike rather early in their relationship that she didn't really cook. Only for special occasions like Thanksgiving or something. But I guess since she decided to stop teaching then some folks think the "wifely" thing for her to do was to start behaving like June Cleaver, even though she was never that kind of woman before.
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To add to your comment. Writers need experiences to give them inspiration. That was why Molly got together with her mother-in-law for the second book. If she were to stay inside and tend to the house, what could she write of interest?
Yes it was all about gender. Mike made it about gender when he said that she shouldn't have been out but should instead have been home putting dinner on the table for her husband.
yes it was about gender. he specifically used the words "your husband". He also barked this at her when she was just happy talking to her family. yeah good timing.
She cooked chili at his apartment. She was complaining that he only had one pot and one working burner. She's made/helped to make Thanksgiving dinners. They cooked for each other after a trip to the farmer's market when they had the house alone for a weekend.
Mike & Carl not only have to drive around and be on the look out but have to be on call. They've also worked overtime. We've seen Molly during her down time when she was teaching. She was often shown talking to coworkers.
It isn't about gender. Some silly posters just enjoy the arguments. The one not working, which Molly wasn't during this episode, should be the one to take care of the household chores. She wasn't on vacation but between jobs.
This show has a few similarities with The King of Queens. The exterior house, the male lead being the heavier one, the female lead having an airhead younger sister (though Carrie's disappeared after a few episodes), the female lead having a shopping addiction, they live in a house with extended family, having difficulty having a baby, deciding to adopt, the male lead's coworker being his best friend, the male lead having another friend who is socially awkward and lives with his mother, and the episodes in which the female leads are between jobs and loaf.
This was of course about gender. Mike made it about gender by saying that she shouldn't have been out but should instead have been home putting food on the table for her husband. That is making it about gender.
And just because Mike & Carl drive around doesn't mean that they work hard. They are slackers.
Excuse me for interfering although clearly you're set on that opinion BUT, by season 6 episode 6 that this whole thing happens, Molly has written 2 books, for both of which she has earned a generous advance and I only assume that she got her cut from the sales. The second one she shared with Mike's mom but anyway HENCE, it's not only Mike working and providing, it's Molly too earning some sort of money and contributing to the couple's finances. The fact that she doesn't have a 9 to 5 work schedule doesn't mean that she doesn't work. To be exact, writing and all kinds of art related jobs require mental work even if they don't seem like it. Thinking to grasp an idea and depict it either in written words or a painting, or a poem or whatnot is still work. So tbh to me it seems like Molly works as much as Mike does..afterall he's on a ridealong all day chatting with his bestie, or eating at Samuel's place. In any case, since the fact that bothers you is that she's "in the house all day, she should have made dinner", may I remind you that none of us is born to serve anyone, and nothing in the household should be taken for granted. If Mike on his spare time can go to a baseball/basketball game, or hang out with his friends at a bar, or visit his mom, or go hang out at Carl and Samuel's apartment, or whatever he does, then Molly also is entitled to go out with her mom and sister in her spare time. And since writing can be done day noon or night, and it is a creative process which takes place anywhere, I don't see why she's bashed so hard for going out. On the other hand, Mike as everyone else here pointed out, is a grown man. Yes he can cook his own meals, yes he's supposed to be doing stuff around the house (which we haven't seen him doing ever, except maybe the remodeling of the basement and the cleaning out the gutters with Vince)as much as Molly does, and the rest of the gang, afterall they all live in the same house. Now, I'm gonna take it you felt sorry for the poor bastard coming back dead tired from driving around with Carl and he finds no food in the house to eat and boohoo he has to eat cold can soup. No, he doesn't need to eat the soup, he doesn't even need to cook. Technology gave us the phone to make a call and order delivery. Why is that such a big deal?
And more importantly, why in the year 2016 and (let's say) gender equality, do we expect that a guy will move from his mom's care, to his wife's care? He's not a baby, he's an adult in a relationship among equals. If Molly wants to slack she has the right to slack and Mike has to find an alternative to cooked dinner, and if Mike wants to slack he's allowed to slack and Molly should cook for herself (as she usually does) or order in, or go out or whatever. A relationship is a partnership yes, but that doesn't mean that people act at your own schedule or desires always. And this whole thing has nothing to do with feminism, or sexism or whatever you wanna call it. It's basic human decency. We aren't born to be servants to anyone. We can offer and they can take, they can offer and we can take but keeping score on who does what is what leads to ruined relationships. Sorry for the rant peeps.
I agree with the others that said this topic is ridiculous. Molly had left her teaching job and wanted to write but was afraid of rejection when this incident happened. Molly went out and wasn't taking care of the home. The one at home, either male or female, should do the bulk of the housework. We see Mike during his downtime. Sitting in the car with one's partner and taking time out for lunch is part of the job. He couldn't just leave patrolling and go home to do what needed to be done. Molly was there.
No one said he was helpless. He did do some things for himself. The point was, at that time, she wasn't doing much of anything. The relationship isn't supposed to be equal. This is not a sexism issue. It would be the same if the woman went out to work and the man stayed home and for same sex couples.
Well I disagree. Despite of what someone does for a living, a relationship should be always among equals. If you don't believe that, then you should be living in an era like 50-60 years ago that it was unthinkable or even a shame if a woman worked and she was supposed to be a breeding machine, a maid, and a cook while the guy coming back from work would require his sleepers put on his feet by his wife while drinking beer and smoking.
I also disagree that the fact that one works from home and the other just barely leaves the house to go sit in a car doesn't imply same physical tiredness, therefore on someone's free time things need to be done. The way you put it, it's like saying that since Molly happened to have a writer's block and not work the day the incident happened, she's not allowed to consider this time her free time and go out. And as you said, we see Mike's downtime..he's either watching TV, or going out. We however have never seen him do something in the house EXCEPT for once cleaning the gutters (during which he spent most of his time holding a bag, drinking beer, and slacking with his friends on the roof while Vince was picking up the garbage from inside the gutters), and one basement remodelling. What else has he done? If we're supposed to either work OR tend to others and nothing else then tell me now so I can kill myself cause I certainly don't wanna live in a world that that's considered even remotely ok. And as others pointed out, we've seen Molly clean, tidy up, we've seen Molly cook and serve dinner or breakfast, or lunch or whatnot. Except for one failed barbequed turkey (where Mike invited a bunch of people thus adding to Molly's workload that would include cooking the turkey which was pure luck that didn't fit in the oven and passed on Mike's hands), one successful overdose of barbequed meat, and one bowl of chilly in 6 seasons what have we seen Mike cook? And may I also reming you, Mike used to live alone too. Hence he knows better than waiting things to be done for him when he comes back home since when he lived alone he had to come up with his own food, clean his own place (if he cleaned it) and tidy up himself. You don't just marry someone to have these things done without lifting a finger, you take what u've been doing by yourself into the relationship hence he should be pulling his own weight in the household.
And as I watched this episode yesterday, I'm quite positive that this incident happened in season 6 episode 6. So by that time Molly had quit her job, attended the writer's workshop, published 2 books and was working on a third. Others pointed out, creative processes take time and experiences to complete. You don't just sit on a chair and start writing, you need ideas, and interaction to come up with something to write. And that happens with ALL creative professions, you can't just rush things or pressure yourself into creating something.
I'm not one to keep going bakc and forth with super long posts. Please condense
Molly had a spending problem. It was covered during a few episodes. Molly made on average 50, 000 a year teaching and that's with holidays and the summers as vacation. She was living in her mother's house and still had significant credit debit and had borrowed money from her mother. She then left that job to write. She was afraid of rejection so spent time doing nothing productive. She used the book money to buy an expensive car, a toy. They needed their own home and more.
You're just being ridiculous and want to argue. Policemen have to be on patrol. They're on call. The show wasn't about Mike's work so much as the interaction it brought about. Molly was the one at home and thus should have been doing her part. She wasn't doing it all.
Ah, sorry that I made your eyes tired with my super long post, but I do tend to break down my way of thinking in order to be understood. If I wanted to argue I would just say that your way of thinking is stupid and start up a flame. I'm not. And I don't want to argue, I'm sharing my way of thinking as I thought that was the point of a message board, if I wanted to just spit out things and expect no comeback I'd be on twitter.
In the point though, I disagree with the fact that you say she was doing nothing productive since she left her job and on. She was productive, she wrote 1 book by herself and one with Mike's mom. The fact that she was on a chair and he was on patrol has nothing to do with it. If you value productive work on how much someone moves, then more than half of this planet that is on desk job is useless and deserves to be chained in the house and do chores and never ever go out in the sunlight.
And I still disagree that the fact that in order for her to work as a writer happens to keep her at home, it means that "she's doing nothing" so she has to do chores. That means that when she was a school teacher and had to work both at school and then grade papers at home, the work she put on while at home isn't work cause she was at home. We saw Mike go hungry once, and we see Molly cook and do stuff around the house often. One day off isn't a big deal, and his reaction was that of a spoiled brat expecting everything at arm's length.
I could keep going with examples, but I don't wanna tire your eyes with my long posts.
Why not then break it down and then edit before you post? There's middle ground between Twitter and a pamphlet.
The point of the episode is that she went partying when things weren't done. She wasn't writing that day. When she was writing at home, the appliances could be doing the chores while she wrote. She was out of the house when writing with Peggy. She even did Peggy's household chores while there.
Writer's work. I never stated "she's doing nothing" while writing and thus working. Even if she had stayed home to work instead of going out for recreation, the machines could have been doing the work while she worked. People who work at home do those things because they are in the vicinity.
The point was that one episode so of course we only saw a bit of it. It's on which this discussion is based.
And I told you again, the fact that she wasn't working that day could be taken as a day off work, as Mike has a couple of times a week and he just sits there or go out. I don't understand why Molly should either work on her book OR do the chores and gets bashed for spending time out.
And now you add that while working she could be doing chores at the same time cause appliances do the work for her. Ok for the laundry, no danger there..what happens if while working she gets in the zone again, and burns the food? Then I guess Mike would have to whine about it too?
And about my writing style, can't accomodate all kinds of eyes, and if that bothers you nothing keeps you obligated to read. I write as I write, I reread what I write and make sure what I write makes sense, I'm not a novelist to build a page to people's convenience, nor do I care if something is very long for someone to read.
Not when things weren't done. It's more than just dinner. People write books and have other responsibilities. Some are parents. They don't just put their children on a shelf until the book is finished. Some work for someone else and write in their spare time. They can't tell their employers they're writing instead of doing their work and then go out for recreation anyway. Molly had vacations and summers off as a teacher so she could have even written then.
Oh please, what happens if she's "in the zone" and the baby cries and/or she goes into labor? Does she put both babies on hold? She is there and so can do a few chores. Mike can't do the laundry in the police car. If the show continued I guess some would have expected him to take the baby to work with him so the woman who is at home anyway wouldn't have to care for the child. I don't believe cops are permitted to do that. it's not sexism, it's about one being at home.
I just skim it. I'm only viewing it because you're replying to me. I doubt many other posters would read every bit of several long posts. These are informal message boards. Most of us read books when not on this website.
Yeah I know, I read and write and I'm a painter, but despite most of my work being done at home, tonight I did go out without having to feel guilty for not bringing in the washing, I can do it tomorrow. So basically that's what I'm talking about, didn't think I would have to chew it down to this. We're talking about ONE day that Molly went out without cooking, and that could be her free time. Same as if Mike had the day off work he would go out with Carl and Samuel instead of staying in to do chores, and even when we see him staying in he's watching TV. What I'm trying to break down as much as possible is that all chores are both people's responsibilities despite the vicinity, same as both of them have the right to go out and not having the other nagging them, same as when they become parents they both have to sacrifice time for their kids. Now that they have their babies, she has to cut down on going out, but so does Mike. And what you seem to not understand - still- is that the fact that she's being at home doesn't mean that she's playing with her thumbs. While she's writing she's at home but that doesn't mean that she can multitask and do the vacuuming while typing. And to put a personal experience in the whole thing that might explain a bit my process of thinking, when I paint I can't do anything else. I can't stop and do the cooking before I reach a point that I'm happy with what I've done. And when I want to take a break from painting, that's when I put the food on the stove, wait for it to be done for the next day, and then resume my work. For an outsider, the fact that I'm up all night painting, and sleep during the day, not knowing that I'm up all night working they would call me a pig for not being up and being the perfect little housemaid someone would expect of a woman that stays at home BUT, I've been working same hours as anyone, and when I don't work and don't feel like doing the chores at that point, I go out. I will do chores eventually, but that's what I expect from the other people in the house too. In any case, I'm probably too much of a "feminist" as people here like to call it, but I want to believe that my time is as valued as anyone elses time and that has to be respected. I won't be replying anymore, cause I'll just be repeating myself with even more simplified ways to explain what I mean, and that leads to huge posts that nobody reads (and I'm just fine with that). Have fun and take care!
One day wouldn't matter much if things weren't piled up but it's regular Molly. Mike was living on his own without debt when he met her. She wanted to stay living at her mother's because she didn't have to pay rent, could use her credit cards to the limits, and borrow money from her mother. Joyce should have made her move out years before. She enabled her. Mike could have paid for a housekeeper for Joyce's home if he didn't have to pay Molly's bills which were a result of her shopping addiction.
The episodes which showed Peggy babying Mike were silly because she usually made a point that Jim was most important to her. It was a barrier she had to protect herself but still.
I'm a feminist too but fair is fair. It's about equality and not being spoiled.