1.) Moran Atias can have you at the snap of her finger; despite the fact you're married. If she wants you, of course.
2.) The size of Moran's brain can be compared to her chest.
3.) Women should work for men bosses. Men should work for women bosses. And men working for men is okay too.
4.) Apparently, the coffee in the police station is terrible.
share*SPOILERS AHEAD* *MASSIVE GIGANTIC SPOILERS* *SEE THE MOVIE FIRST*
5.) If you find blood on your jacket, the first thing you should do is wash it out.
6.) Even Elizabeth Banks looks a bit rough in a prison uniform. Still gorgeous though, just like in Hunger Games.
7.) Don’t call your boss names.
8.) Whenever Moran comes up in the film, you’re like… who’s that?
9.) Telling your community college class the logic behind your thinking that you can pull this off is fine. (his literary analysis) They’ll never figure it out even after seeing the bruises on your face.
10.) Underutilizing Liam Neeson should be a crime.
11.) Thirty seconds is the ideal amount of time to brush your teeth.
12.) Watching Youtube videos about bump keys and breaking into cars on your home computer is a great idea.
13.) After all you did for her, Lara still thinks you would cheat with Nicole. Despite the fact that you just broke her out of prison. And how you were able to resist Moran’s advances years ago.
14.) If you are in a building containing a meth lab, you should set fire to it while you are still inside.
15.) A birthday invitation with wild animals all over it would never make you think it could be held at a zoo.
16.) Dangling out of the car is how you get your way.
17.) Blonde men are good at piecing scraps of paper together.
18.) Even though you have a bag full of money, whatever you do don't buy your wife a Penguins jacket and wig so she blends in to the crowd as well as you do. Make sure she's easy to spot instead.
And if one does what God does enough times, one will become as God is. - Hannibal Lecter
19)If you have a disagreement in the car with your wife, she will dangle herself out the car at high-speed because she isn't capable of working to solve a mutual problem.
20)If you bring a key you made to a prison they won't watch you carefully while you try it out in their elevator lock.
21)If a kid suddenly sees his mother who should be in jail he won't be surprised or say anything.
22) If you commit murder and get sentenced to life you stay in the county jail and never get sent to the state prison.
23) Ordinary men like her husband turn into street smart Supermen in a matter of days
24) Americans always change into Australians when they get mad. Or Australians turn into Americans when they are not.
25) A popped button, if found, can clear you of all murder charges.
26) It's really hard to pick an elevator lock with a bump key; But it's really easy to pick a van lock with a tennis ball.
27) Prison escape planners like to post every detail of their plans on one wall inside their home; And they don't own paper shredders.
Otterprods, to keep those aquatic Mustelidae in line.
24) Americans always change into Australians when they get mad. Or Australians turn into Americans when they are not.I don't get it. What are you referring to ? share
I noticed this.. the part where Crowe and Banks get into the elevator at the hospital and Crowe screams at the nurses inside to get out.. it was a very aussie accent he used
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
yep, you nailed it, and that is why this film wasn't nearly as good as it could have been
"the day I tried to live, I learned that I was alive"
Usually I enjoy these "What I learned from this movie...". This is just a list of self proclaimed factual errors in the movie.
Just goes to tell; You need a bad movie to make these threads funny.
What, exactly, is a "self proclaimed factual error"? If it's a factual error, does it matter who proclaims it? Do YOU think you could break into a van with a tennis ball?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ1jfhaL3Ec
Otterprods, to keep those aquatic Mustelidae in line.
28) Don't go into a dark alley to obtain fake passports or you'll get your ass kicked.
share29) Despite having stated that you would need money up front for a false passport, whereby you could take the money and run, instead the bad guys set up a scam involving Harv the Barman where you take the poor sap outside, beat the living daylights out of him THEN take his money.
30)If you try to spring a prisoner, the authorities will shut down the whole of a sprawling metropolis and airports within a 200 mile radius because it won't inconvenience anyone at all.
31) Black lesbian detectives can immediately name all the U.S. states within a 200 mile radius of Pittsburgh.
32)Pittsburgh detectives can locate where a child should be anywhere in the U.S. within 15-30 minutes
33) Pittsburgh subway systems have glass roofs to help identify fugitives.
34) Pittsburgh detectives are immediately able to suss an imminent jailbreak from finding a piece of Toyota Prius rear light lens at a crime scene.
35) Pittsburg six y.o. boys do EXACTLY as there told without question and never whine, moan, cry, act up or generally misbehave ever especially when they are dragged away from a birthday party early.
36)If the authorities are going to shut down a city in 35 minutes YOU MUST TRY TO GET OUT within those 35 minutes rather than hole up in the city somewhere and sneak out when the dust settles.
37) If you want advice from a serial jailbreaker, track him down and let him take all your money rather than just read his book about jailbreaking.
38) Don't ever vomit - it always raises suspicions amongst the feds
39) Pittsburgh detectives can run down subway trains
40) Diabetics don't need medication whilst on the run from the law.
40)And the weirdest one - husbands will risk everything to spring their wives rather than lapping up all the prime poon that is now available to him.
That's a feckin' jazz haircut!share
41) - Deaf passport/document forgers tend to hang out in bars, seeking out customers by lip reading, then following them with partner on motorbike for couple days before finally calling at said customer's home and closing the sale.
42) - Even after being beaten up and having your money stolen from you by someone promising to get u forged passport/documents, you should always trust the next person that makes the same promise, just so long as they have followed you and showed up at your home in the middle of the night.
[deleted]
The husband had the wife's insulin with him. It was the first thing he mentioned to her, right before she saw the green ring box with her wedding ring in it.
shareThanks for clearing that up, now the film is only 1% less ridiculous.
That's a feckin' jazz haircut!share
43.) If your wife is totally against you freeing her, just tell her to call your son and let him know ya'll are not coming. Despite her anger and distaste for the situation, she will immediately change her mind and come with you. It seems like someone with her personality would never agree to ridiculous decisions like trying to escape imprisonment. You know she would talk you out of it. But none of that matters if you tell her to make a phone call. Oh yeah, she'll come with you.
share44) You can tongue down your wife when you first see her at the county jail, but if she touches your face the guards will give you a warning.
45) Doctors can overrule police orders and allow a prisoners to have visitors in the hospital.
Haha I thought the saaame thing when the doctor told Crowe he could visit her. It was ridiculous.
share46) Apparently Venezuela is a long way to go with only a carry-on bag.
sharewhat bothered me was that she was already taking her prescribed dose of insulin, then when the forged medical report came through and she was taken to hospital they put her on a drip and gave her another 20 units of insulin. Too much insulin can kill you unless you eat to make the insulin do its job and leave your bloodstream, but I didn't see her so much as eat a mars bar from when Crowe sprung her out.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
40)And the weirdest one - husbands will risk everything to spring their wives rather than lapping up all the prime poon that is now available to him.if that's your rationale, why getting married in the first place ? share
40) Diabetics don't need medication whilst on the run from the law.
28)Of course its easy to sell a house with one wall entirely devoted to a prison escape plan.
29)Never a problem to pick up an old couple at a train station and drive them across the state.
30) Anybody wearing a doctor jacket can pose as a doctor and walk right into a room holding a convicted murderer despite police security.
I learned one big thing. Paul Haggis keeps an essentially slow-paced story going by keeping us in doubt about the stability of the main character. Is Paul really that dedicated to his wife, or is he compulsive and just about to go 'round the bend? It's a multi-themed movie, but the real engine isn't whether or not Lara is guilty; it's whether or not Paul is bonkers. Hint: the elder Mr. Brennan illustrates the kind of values that made Paul what he is.
shareIf a murderer bumps into you and gets blood on your jacket then you are soooo screwed.
Cindy
47) Apparently, it's hard to get past a toll booth with an APB out for a couple with a child, but it is possible to drive across the border into Ontario without a problem.
shareThe US justice system is completely corrupt with incompetent police officers, judges and lawyers.
48) If you can't edit your film down to include all the necessary plot points within two hours, just say 'ah to hell with it, I can't do it, lets just make it an hour longer!'
49) when you are deliberately selecting misleading evidence to plant at the scene, make it look like you're not thinking at all and only tidying up as quickly as you can whilst also making it look like your car is full so the last rubbish bag won't fit in.
50) When you go through the trauma of being asked a few questions by a nasty jail police man and also the trauma of being beaten up outside a bar.......you will then be able to hold up a meth lab, murder its proprietor, steal all his money, and dump a dead body under a bridge. No sweat and no sick, just a wee nap at your mommy's house and you'll be fine
51: Haiti is a viable option for people fleeing from the US, especially considering most sane people would voluntarily strap themselves to the electric chair rather than resort to that alternative.
52: Venezuela is not the first, most obvious and closest option for escape, since it is the only free Western Hemisphere country diametrically opposed to the US.
53: Airport cops get winded and testy after searching one plane.
54: The security who let them through, plus all the others who processed them, cannot be asked trace the footsteps to which plane they got on
55: It takes 3 years for detectives to feel like putting in any effort to solve a case.
57: Don't get the kid hidden far away first to avoid complications
58. Airport attendants have enough time on their hands and concern to be asking if you're carrying enough clothes
"what is your major malfunction numbnuts?!!"
59: Hospitals in Pittsburgh administer insulin without first checking the patient's blood sugar level.
60: Cities surrounded by bridges and tunnels are a pain in the ass.
61: If you take out a meth lab and put the operators out of commission, don't expect a medal.
62: If your coat gets covered in blood, you won't notice it when you remove your coat at the restaurant, nor will you or your husband notice when you put it back on again after the meal. when you do notice it, it will be at exactly the time the Police are entering your home.
share63. After learning how to escape from an expert, also listen to his further advice on how not to get caught. Pay no attention to the fact that he had to escape 7 times because he kept getting caught. 7 is in fact considered a lucky number, as whatever advice he now gives becomes suddenly relevant.
share64. When reviewing surveillance camera footage, suspects are kindly asked to self-identify themselves on the tape.
share[deleted]