MovieChat Forums > Grey Gardens (2009) Discussion > Cannot believe this.... absolutely appal...

Cannot believe this.... absolutely appalling!!!!

posted 16 years ago by Nicholletta
44 replies | jump to latest

I have seen this movie many times since its original airing and I can not digest how those women (either real life or cinema created) could have lived in such filth!!! I mean wouldn't it have occured to them to clean up once in a while?!?!? Good lord!!! They pratcially destoyed their only home and did not give a damn. Even after Jackie O. came and paid for it to be all cleaned up, they still trashed the house again. Geez, give me a break. I know that they were society flowers. But even they could not see that they had wilted beyond repair and please don't get me started on keeping that many cats. The house was not fit for human habitation after that and they still stayed. Both obviously had some mental issues and just sunk further into them as time went on. It's deplorable and revolting. Enough said.

You'll have loads to talk about while you're here.

[–] lilypad183 16 years ago

there must be something there that keeps you watching.

[–] geoh777 15 years ago

Maybe they are a projectionist or theatre usher.

[–] Ronvalder 16 years ago

Other peoples lives can seem appalling if you've never walked in their shoes.

[–] j_ess 16 years ago

Sometimes when your home, your money, your life deteriorates so does your mind. It's the only way a person can adjust to the living conditions.

[–] jjamison-2 15 years ago

Yes, a person can adjust to anything. These women were used to being waited on by a staff of people and when they were finally left alone, they had no housekeeping skills to fall back on. But it was obvious early on that they, and especially little Edie, were not totaly mentally mature. Her actions, the way she let her mother (also immature) talk her into coming back to Grey Gardens, all show a dependency of someone who is basically a child mentally. Little Edie and her mother were dependant on each other, and Big Edie was dependant on the house. The house was almost as much a charactor and Barrymore and Lange. I watched this last night, and this morning I still have a depressed feeling about it. Not a movie you can watch and forget easily.

[–] gmjm56 15 years ago

Wow, I am so glad you posted this.....so true. There definitely was some sort of sick dependence that little Edie had on her mother. As she puts it at the end of the movie: I certainly could have left plenty of times. Consider this: I think both characters were living in the past. The mother probably felt that her best days were behind her and figured she was going to spend the rest of her days at GG. Little Edie, however, was a grown woman who could have ventured out on her own. Which bring me back to my original statement of her having a sick dependence on her mother. Very interesting and every time I watch it, it makes me a little sad.

[–] thatguy_78757 14 years ago

whoah JJ

you nailed it!

[–] brockmeeks 11 years ago

I can't believe Lily doesn't/can't/won't see these people as hoarders or even possibly mentally unstable.

The whole thing is just too much. So sad. I'm going back to reading about the Boiviers and the Kennedys.

[–] treetoad 16 years ago

"It's very difficult to keep the line between the past and the present. You know what I mean? It's awfully difficult."

I think they would get so wrapped up talking about the past that they often didn't see what was around them. Being that they were "society flowers" I don't think they had one clue how to fend for themselves properly.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: Whoo hoo!! What a ride!

[–] the-scout-enigma 16 years ago

well, the best way i can imagine them not doing anything about the mess is to make a simple analogy...

ever notice how if you dont wash the dished immediately the sink piles up and before you notice it you have no forks? maybe they just never really paid it any attention...

these women never had to clean, polish, fix or really do anything except be beautiful and be seen... they certainly weren't groomed to do any of these things, so maybe they felt they didnt have too...

i think the fictional edie in this film sums it up best with her line:

"well, things do tend to accumulate after labour day"

i thought that was wonderfully witty and apropos.

[–] yesimgonnabeastar 16 years ago

I love that line! "Things DO tend to accumulate after Labor Day!" She was not having any of their BS that day, LOL! The movie did a very good job of portraying Suffolk County as non-villainous villains just doing their job but at the same time destroying whatever little dignity was left in the house. I have to remember though, if it wasn't for the negative publicity and threat of evacuation/the Onassis rescue, we would have never known these staunch characters.

[–] quesabrosa 16 years ago

I think you answered your own question(s) when you said "Both obviously has some mental issues..." Oftentimes, people with mental illnesses do or don't do things that us rational-minded people can't seem to fathom. I read an article that mentioned that Big Edie slumped into a depression after everyone had left her all alone at Grey Gardens and after Major Bouvier cut her out of his will. Judging by the condition of her environs, this was a clinical depression that was left untreated.

I have a friend who was diagnosed with a form of depression so debilitating that he couldn't even drag himself out of bed and wash himself up. The condition of his house was deplorable -- stacks of used dishes all over the counters, tabletops and even on the floor, trash overflowing, bottles and cans all over the carpet, sink and tub caked with mildew, and the refrigerator... <ugh!> Once when I suggested that he straighten up, he confessed to me that he beats himself up each day for letting his house get that way, but that he just couldn't bring himself to clean up. It wasn't that he was lazy, he just felt that he had lost control of his home, and the abominable condition of it overwhelmed him to the point that he felt powerless to do anything about it. Now, you and me would probably say, "Just pick up a broom and dustpan and start from there" but to a person with mental illness, it's easier said than done. I suspect that this is what it was like for Big Edie, coupled with the fact that she no longer had a cleaning staff to do the housekeeping. My friend, btw, has been on Remeron for several years, and now he's obsessed with keeping his house tidy!

[–] moviewatcher42 15 years ago

quesabrosa nailed it. My wife goes through bouts of depression and at times has difficulty with things like doing the dishes and cleaning up. There was a time when she, too, found it difficult or impossible to even get out of bed.

It's easy to assume a person is lazy or slothful when you don't have any personal experience with mental illness. Big Edie and Little Edie were both seriously mentally ill, neither was treated and they both simply spiraled out of control. Little Edie in particular (at least in the movie) came across as an excentric yet amusing woman. My guess is that in reality she wasn't always so entertaining to be around.

Wonderful movie with great performances. Makes me want to see the original documentary.

[–] BeansOnToast 15 years ago

Quesabrosa, I think you hit the nail on the head. Also, Big Edie became more and more bedridden over the years due to failing health, and after the late 1960s she was afraid to leave her house because there was a robbery while she was out at a party. (I don't think she left the house again until she was hospitalized right before her death in 1977; she was also worried about losing her legal right to reenter the house if she left it at any time.) So if you compound her failing physical health and fear with any untreated depression, that could have made it worse.
As a general response to this thread: Their house was too messy for most of us to live in, but the interesting thing is that they didn't see to care. They were such interesting people and had so much to occupy their minds that it was not a number-one priority at all. If it was, they wouldn't have fed the raccoons, had so many cats, etc. You have to get past the cats, raccoons, and mess to see what their focus really was: they wanted to be themselves. They gave up wealth, incomes, etc., because they didn't want to prostitute themselves in unhappy marriages; Big Edie didn't have the opportunities to do much else (we have to remember how few opportunities really existed for women of her generation from any income background, as well as people past 40 looking for any kind of work in those days), and Little Edie didn't have the self-confidence or drive, which is just how some people are (we all know people like that). Of course, it doesn't make them bad or crazy. So, like a lot of their fans, I applaud "the Edies" for what they did accomplish: unique and memorable lives as staunch characters!

[–] ChristmasStan 16 years ago

You need to see what your eyes can not.

[–] amishcowboy 16 years ago

there's a word for it: folie a deux

at least they didn't hurt anyone.... see the movie "Heavenly Creatures" to see an example that did

[–] Moon_and_New_York_City 16 years ago

with mental illness - and depression in particular - there often comes with it a debillitating lethargy, an inability to move or get out of bed or do anything except sleep and eat - most of us snap out of it over time with some help; they apparently never did.