Top 100 LoM Bits



Well a lot of other threads have this, so why not make one? And I know - a 100 might possibly be not enough for all the good ol' bits in LoM but lets see, anyway.

1. The Kiss - (finally!)


CM: Night gardening deserves... a quiet night.

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2. Episode 1: Sam waking up in the 1970s to the tune of Bowie. :)

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3. The Camberwick Green homage

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4) Sam waking up in the present to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".

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5) Gene's "armed bastards" quote.

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6) Sam going into a deep coma/passing out and watching the others on TV, switching channel.

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7) Gene phoning Sam and saying "I appear to have killed a man"

Arrogance is THINKING you're great
Egotism is KNOWING it

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8. The most politically incorrect Gene Hunt's rant

Gene: "Now. Yesterday's shooting. The dealers are all so scared we're more likely to get Helen Keller to talk. The Paki in a coma's about as lively as Liberace's dick when he's looking at a naked woman, all in all this investigation's going at the speed of a spastic in a magnet factory...What?"
Sam: "Think you might have missed out the Jews"

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The opening scene of episode 2 - Sam, Gene and the gang chasing after a suspect wearing nothing but Speedos!!

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10. "Don't move, you're surrounded by armed bastards!"
Oh, damn, I see now that that's already mentioned. Oh well, it's worth two nominations.

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11. Hunt: "She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot."


Love that one.

12. Vic Tyler: I have a little boy named Sam.
Gene Hunt: I have a pain in the arse named Sam!

13. Gene, Sam, Joni Newton and another girl dancing to Bowie’s "Jean Genie" in Warren’s club in S1 Ep4. Beautifully shot. Watched it over and over again as its one of the few times in S1 that Sam looked genuinely happy.

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12) you're as white as a ginger birds arse!

Another thing, does my signature look fat in these jeans?

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13) Gene's Lawyer.

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16) Ray sucker punching Sam but Sam winning the fight - Series 1, Episode 7 (I'm not a violent person, but Ray annoyed me so much I'd been waiting for Sam to take him on)

17) Gene sticking Sam in his trunk as punishment - after, presumably, beating him up, too - Series 2, Episode 2. (Sounds so mean on paper, hilarious on screen)

18) "I'm having hoops!" - Series 1, Episode 1


"I don't have to blow up everything I see. I just like to." - Kell Tainer

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19) Gene: So I'm right?
Sam: We're both right
Gene: as long as I am more right than you

20) Sam: I'm cheif negotiator
Gene: I'll make you a hat

21) Sam and Gene fighting in the hospital.

Ziggy Played Guitar

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22) When the boys are bugging the car dealer's place in season 2.
Chris/Ray?: The Law! The Law!
Gene: Get down you Div!
(The boys duck, pause, then Sam gets up.)
Sam: We ARE the law you bloody clowns! God help us.

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Sam: We ARE the law you bloody clowns! God help us.
Makes me laugh every single time

23. When Sam wakes up from the LSD-in-the-past/hospital-overdose-in-the-present induced scenario where he's watching everyone on the TV scree, his beautifully sweet smile when he sees Annie sitting there and then a big hug, too - just a nice, sweet moment that makes me smile, too.

24. In the very first episode, Sam and Gene simultaneously figuring out why the next-door neighbor "can't hear a thing now," and leaping over the desk together.

25. Gene getting so drunk he takes a swing at Sam, misses by a mile, and does a complete circle on his way down to the floor.


"I don't have to blow up everything I see. I just like to." - Kell Tainer

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26. When Gene and Sam pull up in the car, Gene jumps out and says to the children:
'See that car? Anything happens to it and I'll come round your house and stamp on all your toys! Got it? Good kids.

27. The part where Sam and Gene go undercover in the pub - some of the funniest stuff in the entire series.

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28. When Sam and Annie went undercover in series 2 episode 4 using the names Tony and Cheryl Blair. But the part I really love is when Gene bursted into the party and Sam introduced him as his friend Gordon Brown. I don’t know why, but that makes me laugh every time I think about it.

And the armed bastards bit, which deserves, in my opinion, another mention.

Burn down the disco...Hang the blessed DJ...

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29. Gene Hunt "He's got fingers in more pies than a leper at a cookery course"

30. The Gene Hunt Camberwick Green character waving at the camera

31. Gene Hunt "I'm not a religious man Mr Warren, but isn't there something in the Bible that says, thou shalt not suck off rent boys?"

& one more

32. Gene dancing in the disco

I am NOT a guy!!

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33. The Tony Blair one where they discover the dead girl and Chris says they got the info from the "inbred potty mouth girl" and Sam replies with "She's probably got Toutrtee's Sydrome"

(this may not be the exact quote but it goes along that line

34. When he wakes up in 1973 and the Bobby is there and it's not his ca

Sam:"This isn't my car....I've got a Jeep!"

Bobby/Policeman: "A militry vehicle?"

and then again with his Mobile and the booby says "Mobile what?"

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35. When Gene gets shot by the hostage taker in series 1 and they figure out the bullet got stopped by his hip flask. Someone says "what are the odds of that" and then he pulls out like 4 more hip flasks. And he had already had one taken away from him!

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36. The crossing guard sign. I want a crossing guard sign like that.

Cheesecake is delicious. Thought you might want to know...

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37. When Sam says (in series one) that the dead guy didn't have any serious injuries and Gene says, "Well he's dead. That's PRETTY serious."

38. When Sam says he thinks the attempted murder is a hate crime and Gene responds, "As opposed to one of those, I really, really like you sort of murders."

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39. In the second to last episode, when Sam and Gene are looking for evidence to clear Gene's name, and his only "disguise" is a pair of sunglasses. Sam makes fun of him, saying nobody will be fooled (obviously). Later on, when they're running from Chris and Ray, they burst into someone's office that Gene knows. The encounter goes something like:

Man: What do you want? Who are you?
(Gene removes sunglasses)
Man: Gene Hunt!

For some reason, the fact that the "disguise" actually worked just cracked me up.

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40. [Gene has just told Sam about his brother, who used to be addicted to drugs. I say used to, because he also 'used to' be alive, but we don't know that yet.]
Sam: ... You know, addiction usually indicates something else that's missing from your life.
Gene: But see that's the thing. Me and him were raised exactly the same! And I'm not addicted. [He takes a large swig of his flask. Sam raises an eyebrow.]

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LOVE this quote from series 2. Don't know why, but the droll is just puuuurrrrfect...

[just as Sam & Gene are about to enter the lift at the police station]

41. Gene Hunt: How do you think I spend my time here, Tyler?
[Sarcastically under his breath]
Sam Tyler: Building a Death Star?
Gene Hunt: You wha'?
Sam Tyler: Nothing...

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My favourite moment has to be in episode 5 of series 2, one that really shows how much Sam has become used to 1973:

42.
Ray: We've been eating out of cartons!
Sam: Ray, that's your life!
Ray: I haven't been to the pub in 36 hours!
Sam: *beep*

"It's Resistance is USELESS, you ****ing morons!"

- On the Cybermen/Borg argument

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43. Series 1, Episode 2 - After June is shot, the conversation between Sam and Gene in the street, standing over her blood. It's done so well, because you understand and feel for both sides - Gene's "we need to do whatever we can to keep people like this off the streets" position, as well as Sam's "regardless, you can't go around stitching people up all the time" stance

44. Series 1, Episode 6 - The countdown leading up to when the hostage-taker is supposed to shoot Sam - the recollection of his father, the whistling, and Sam's great big smile.

45. Series 2, Episode 6 - Chris shooting the bad guy and getting to save the day for once.


"I don't have to blow up everything I see. I just like to." - Kell Tainer

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46. Sam waking up hand-cuffed to his bed and the guys taking the piss out of him at the station - Phyllis walking in and saying the station is missing hand-cuffs.

47. Gene throwing coins at the little kids for guarding his car: "Excellent job ladies and gentlemen!"

48. Gene reversing through the dead end street with a sandwich in his mouth

49. Sam telling the guys doing clerical work to yell "we're winners!", and then "Now roar like lions! Nah I was just kidding there."

(haven't seend season two yet so those are just my picks thus far)
Hunting for hand-eating, yellow-bowtied seals with terminally ill cats since 2006.

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50. Already been mentioned but I gotta say it again.

"It's 1973, about dinner time. I'm having 'oops."



http://tinyurl.com/I-wonder-whats-in-the-lunchbox

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51. Series 1 Episode 5

Gene undercover pretending to be pi$$ed to befriend the football hooligans - then Gene actually so pi$$ed he falls off the table after an all night session with them

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52. The team undercover in an icecream van. When Genes just pops up and sticks two's up at that kid. I seriously laughed my head off.

53. Aniie :- Boss, there's a viscous yellow liquid in his ear...
Gene: No, that's the drip from my fried egg butty, love. Well done Miss Marple, that's why we need women detectives...



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Gene to Sam after Sam has expressed concern about the way they're doing things AGAIN: 'If I worried as much as you, I'd never fart for fear of *beep* meself'

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55: Can't remember it verbatim...

Sam: You're an overweight, nicotine-stained, racist, misogynist homophobe who's borderline alcoholic and has an unhealthy obsession with male bonding.

Gene: You say that like it's a bad thing.

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I really like the united/city episode especially at the end where Chris is talking to the killer about the football and he makes a reference to the 1989 Hillsborough football disaster.
The bit where they start arguing about who was right was hilarious, so was when he saw ray going to the match when he pulled a sickie lol!! "ray you skiving git" lol

Our future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams

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56.
When the PC's are doing the crime scene search:
"For Hands that do dishes can feel soft as your face with mild green fairy liquid."

Hilarious!

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This thread began over 8 months ago, and no one has mentioned my favourite moment:

57. The Flying Leap! Bowie's "Life On Mars?" was playing for the final time. (Oh, sorry! Not quite the final time. I've only seen episode 16 five times.) Sam was truly, deeply happy as he ran across that roof, smiling...Sheer Joy! It is fiction, after all.

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To lower the tone a bit, Gene on prison life...

58. Gene (to Sam): Look, you're not the one who's gonna have to knit himself a new a***hole after 25 years of aggressive male affection in prison showers!

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59. "There will never be a woman prime minister as long as I have a hole in my arse"

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Series 2 episode 6 had some classics for me

60. Sam: "Because i loved her"
Gene: "You great... soft... sissy... girlie... nancy... French... bender... Man United supporting POOF!"

61. Sam: "I think she's telling the truth"
Gene: "I think she's as fake as a tranny's fanny"

62. Gene: "I could murder an Indian"
Toolbox: " Me too"

63. Gene: "You said he was dead!"
Ray: "Well, he wasn't moving"
Gene: "Chris doesn't move, but he's not dead!"

64. Also from series 1 where Gene gets shot and it hits the hip flask "What are the chances of that" and he pulls out 3 more.

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Love 'em!!!

65. Gene (when he needs to go undercover in the pub): In a bizarre twist of fate, the landlord was arrested this afternoon on suspicion of cattle-rustling.

66. Gene: We're thinking inside the box.
Sam: Outside the box.
Gene: That an' all.

67. Sam: I don't think...
Gene: Keep it that way.

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68. Gene: You know that bloke in the Bible who wanted to stuff a camel through the eye of a needle?

Sam: That would be Jesus.
Gene: Yeah. He had nothing on Mrs Luckhurst.

69. When Sam asks Annie to spend the night with him. SIGH.

70. Gene's mixed metaphors about fishes and ladders.

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71. Gene talking about his brother, comparing him to Chris.
'Its like Chris. You try your hardest, but he'll still have that stupid grin on his face'.

72. Use of the insult 'Brain Donor'.

73. 'If you're wrong, you'll be more sorry than the time we found out that Plonk Doris Bangs was a name and not a guarantee!'

Make Poverty History

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74. When they're undercover in the ice cream van and Gene flips the kids off, the scandalized look the witness (with the hearing aid) gives him always cracks me up.

75. When Sam's looking in the window of the curry place and sees the reflection of modern-day Manchester and 'Toxic' is playing.

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74. I love that bit where Gene and Sam are fighting in Series One episode two in the hospital room and then Sam does that matrix thing and Gene's like 'You've got to be kidding' and when the nurse came and they both held up their police badges.

75. The ice cream truck bit. Gene was hilarious.

76.

Sam: He can't.
Gene: Why not
Sam: He died last year.
Gene: Damn the Man


Kristen's mafia#52
Proud to be a Krisbian.

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Gene: If I wanted a bollocking about my drinking, I'd've phoned the wife!

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You great big sissy girly nancy french bending man united supporting poof!!!!!!!!!!!

Experience is the name people give to their mistakes
Oscar Wilde said that and he was right!

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"Why have you put tapioca pudding on your burger?"
"...thought it was horse raddish"

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Has anyone mentioned Gene Hunt dressed up as that squirrel in Series 2 Episode 7, superb lol.

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Gene Hunt: Steven Warren is a bum bandit. Do you understand? A poof! A fairy! A queer! A queen! Fudge packer! Uphill Gardener! Fruit picking sodomite!
Sam Tyler: He's gay?
Gene Hunt: As a bloody Christmas Tree!

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