maxine was ridiculous. i did try my best to try and like her but she was a pretty ignorant person.
i was so angry when she tried to invite herself to india. i dont care what your culture is that way to personal for her to be invited to. also did anyone else think she was a hypocrite when she said "you guys cant stay with your mom forever". doesnt she basically live with her parents?
I find your opinion so offensive that I'm not even sure I can explain it. Your comment encapsulates almost all of the world's problems. To claim that Maxine's desire to go to India is either rude or ignorant shows your hang-ups and not Maxine's. There was nothing wrong with wanting to go, and if there was then for you to be angry with her is the real issue. Why should she not be allowed to go? Don't you get it? We are all the same. We are all connected. We are all family and your hiding behind culture is what causes problems. I wish I could explain it better, but shame on you.
shareit seemed that Maxine represented an ugly consequence of the new American way: she acts very entitled and important. Gogol hits the nail on the head at the funeral (when she's upset about him saying she can't come to India) by saying that it's not about her. she wasn't an evil person, but we are raising generations of self-important kids who feel their goal in life is to make every room they enter more interesting. in Gogol's case, he learned that he was part of a bigger thing (his family) that he had become proud of. these two life views can't mix. they aren't a good fit. Gogol takes blame for the heart break, though, also. he was working so hard for so long to alienate who he was and become something else that when he changed his mind about what was important he had to betray this woman that he had built a certain kind of life with -unless she got instantly on board.
i actually know so many women like Max, and they can be infuriating.. but also very nice people.
I really disliked Gogol in the film and I actually really liked Maxine.
Basically he tried to be the furthest possible thing from Indian - he was Americanised, and he and Maxine had a lot in common.
All of the sudden, he becomes very interested in his culture (ever since his dad died and he has a guilt trip) and finds some pathetic excuse that he can't date her because they are 'of two different worlds'.
I thought that the point of the film was that he ditched his soulmate (Maxine) for Moushimi just because she was Bengali like him and he decided to stick to his family's culture.
In the end, Moushimi tells him something really important - that things don't necessarily work out just because they are both Bengali.
Gogol deserved that slap in the face - he dumped a great girl like Maxine (who was only trying to help when she offered to come to his dad's funeral) just so he could pay a sort of 'penance' for not being observant of his father and his culture.
"Basically he tried to be the furthest possible thing from Indian - he was Americanised, and he and Maxine had a lot in common. "
I don't think enough people realize that Maxine acted the way she did because Gogol wanted her to be that way. He was also that way in being a selfish Americanized guy which was the furthest thing from a traditional Indian guy. So when his dad died he had tons of guilt and tried to be the head of his family, which he wanted no part of in the time before when he was with Max.
Interestingly enough, Gogol obviously had the ability to become Mr Traditional Indian son at the drop of a hat, like when he invited Max over for dinner, which was a side that Max never knew and wasn't able to adapt to. Then when his dad died he went all the way Traditional, and Max was left behind.
He went so far Traditional that he didn't even bother to get back with Max after he got back from India. Even his mother saw he was becoming different and told him to try to call up Max, instead he just went right onto Moushimi for the fact she was Indian and sorta sexy.
This is for Allah... and it's going way out there sucka...
lumosnight and cdz6969, I agree with both of your comments about Gogol and Maxine. I'm surprised that so many on this thread don't get it.
A Fact Of Life...
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F....
Greenbanazanas you need to step into the real world. In the real world race always matters. Maxine was I think a bit of a racist she was insensitive to Gogol when his father died. Maxine did not understand that the South Asian culture grieves a death differently than WASP culture. I think there was obviously a cultural difference between them that Maxine did not want to admit. Maxine made the assumption that her white cultural values were similar to South Asian culture.
shareSo by offering to come to your boyfriend's father's funeral you are insensitive? Wow, what kind of a culture do you live in?
Ok maybe she wasn't introduced properly to South Asian culture. But Gogol called himself a proud American, he didn't want to be a traditional South Asian at all. In that way, he fooled Maxine into believing that he thinks like her. He even celebrated Christmas with Maxine's family and other what you would call 'WASP' culture (which every single Christian celebrates, regardless if you are 'WASP' or not).
So when his dad dies, he turns 180 degrees and becomes this traditional guy who wants to marry a Bengali girl and reject the love of his life (Maxine). It seems that the values of freedom he has been taught in America all went down the drain.
Maxine behaved in the way she thought would be polite to do in her culture. Perhaps that isn't acceptable in South Asian culture but she had good intentions. You don't have to suddenly behave in accordance with you bf's culture (I mean, if your bf was Muslim would you wear a headscarf? I don't think so).
And I find the fact you call Maxine a 'WASP' is very racist and offensive. Does that mean Anglo-Saxon people cannot comprehend South Asian culture? Nope, it's Gogol who suddenly decided to go all 'traditional'.
"Ok maybe she wasn't introduced properly to South Asian culture. But Gogol called himself a proud American, he didn't want to be a traditional South Asian at all. In that way, he fooled Maxine into believing that he thinks like her. "
Exactly.. someone finally gets it.. She acted that way because Gogol made her believe he was a ultra modern guy with no traditional values. Then he does a complete 180 without any explanation and she's becomes lost and thus acts stupid in the eyes of many. It was really Gogol's fault...
This is for Allah... and it's going way out there sucka...
No Anglo Saxon people cannot comprehend Indian culture.
They are mostly barbarians who have only been civilized for less than two millenia. Indian civilization has been around for 7,000 years.
Yea modern India is so much more civilized with their arranged marriages and how they treat their untouchables in the caste system.
This is for Allah... and it's going way out there sucka...
Yes, Western civilisation is so barbaric, I mean they invented stuff such as electricity, antibiotics and computers which the Indians didn't think of in their entire 7000 years of civilisation. Shame on Western civilisation on creating actual foolproof medicine and a way of connecting people worldwide!
shareAh I believe a Scottish person created the original anti-botic but then that is what's wrong with Western Civilization. Westerners think they are the center of the universe and all things originated from them. Hench, the stupid things they say, like, So when did you move here?...Ah, I was born here...you idiot.
shareMaxine was a typical American white girl who thought she was liberal simply because she was dating a brown person but was still very racist, ignorant and insensitive to other people's cultures.
White girls are spoiled, are used to being catered to simply because they are white (especially if they are a blonde), they have major entitlement issues and are very needy because they are used to white privilege and white girl entitlement. Their world falls apart if no one is catering to them and their benevolent white girlness.
There was nothing far-fetched about her portrayal. I see this type of behavior all the time among white pseudo-liberals--especially white women. It's annoying really. Like nails on a chalk board.
"We are all the same. We are all connected. We are all family and your hiding behind culture is what causes problems."
I agree with this quote by an earlier poster. I feel that many people use their culture as a point of distinction - they use it to separate themselves from others of different cultures, feeling that by isolating themselves from deep interaction with those of other cultures, they are protecting the integrity of their own culture. If we assert that those of other cultures could never possibly understand us or the struggles of our particular culture, it is we who are flawed in our thinking because it is we who are lionizing our own cultures above others', believing that other cultures may taint our own precious culture.
We should embrace and accept one another's cultural differences so that we may share them with other cultures, but we need to recognize that at the heart of it all there are no real differences between us as human beings. There is no biological basis in culture; it is a social construct. Hence, the assertion that Maxine just didn't understand Gogol is a weak one. Maybe Maxine didn't understand Indian funeral customs or family values, but Gogol could have enlightened her, and asked for some time for himself to gather his thoughts after his father passed away. She understood that he was feeling pain, and she attempted to empathize with his pain and stay involved. It is Gogol who distanced himself from her, believing his precious culture was more than anything Max could have ever understood. It is that flawed thinking that ended the relationship. We need to educate others' about our cultures - not simply call each other ignorant and leave it at that. We need to strive to see one another's similarities, because there are so many.
Interesting different point of views and interpretations of the relationship between Gogol and Maxine.
The following however was the best post here:
by pinkearmufs (Sat Nov 20 2010 22:50:58)
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"We are all the same. We are all connected. We are all family and your hiding behind culture is what causes problems."
I agree with this quote by an earlier poster. I feel that many people use their culture as a point of distinction - they use it to separate themselves from others of different cultures, feeling that by isolating themselves from deep interaction with those of other cultures, they are protecting the integrity of their own culture. If we assert that those of other cultures could never possibly understand us or the struggles of our particular culture, it is we who are flawed in our thinking because it is we who are lionizing our own cultures above others', believing that other cultures may taint our own precious culture.
We should embrace and accept one another's cultural differences so that we may share them with other cultures, but we need to recognize that at the heart of it all there are no real differences between us as human beings. There is no biological basis in culture; it is a social construct. Hence, the assertion that Maxine just didn't understand Gogol is a weak one. Maybe Maxine didn't understand Indian funeral customs or family values, but Gogol could have enlightened her, and asked for some time for himself to gather his thoughts after his father passed away. She understood that he was feeling pain, and she attempted to empathize with his pain and stay involved. It is Gogol who distanced himself from her, believing his precious culture was more than anything Max could have ever understood. It is that flawed thinking that ended the relationship. We need to educate others' about our cultures - not simply call each other ignorant and leave it at that. We need to strive to see one another's similarities, because there are so many.
Wow...racist much?
share[deleted]
Ok maybe she wasn't introduced properly to South Asian culture. But Gogol called himself a proud American, he didn't want to be a traditional South Asian at all. In that way, he fooled Maxine into believing that he thinks like her. He even celebrated Christmas with Maxine's family and other what you would call 'WASP' culture (which every single Christian celebrates, regardless if you are 'WASP' or not).
So when his dad dies, he turns 180 degrees and becomes this traditional guy who wants to marry a Bengali girl and reject the love of his life (Maxine). It seems that the values of freedom he has been taught in America all went down the drain.
Maxine behaved in the way she thought would be polite to do in her culture. Perhaps that isn't acceptable in South Asian culture but she had good intentions. You don't have to suddenly behave in accordance with you bf's culture (I mean, if your bf was Muslim would you wear a headscarf? I don't think so).
She's not part of his family. It would be inappropriate, not to mention she probably would have done something offensive like...oh...Idk...wearing black to an Indian funeral? Besides that, it was quite clear she wanted to go for her own vapid reasons, NOT to support him. She just wanted to go to India. Period.
shareAs an American with foreign born parents, I have to disagree with you. The problem was not Maxine. The problem was Gogol. She wanted to go with him because she considered him family (as she said during that scene) and wanted to support him in his time of need. When she said she didn't understand what she was supposed to do, that wasn't an "it's about me" it was a "what can I do for you to make you happy?" moment. And as others have said, he suddenly changed and started practicing traditions out of guilt.
Going to India would have been too personal if they were dating casually, but if he was indeed in love with her and felt as strongly about her as she obviously did about him it is not too personal at all.
I understand that such people exist, but I do take offence with the type of "young white ignorant woman" that Nair seems to like. She uses the same stereotype for the re-modelling of Erica in the Reluctant Fundamentalist. Maxine didn't know, but she was trying to learn, failing miserably. Gogol was refusing to let her in as he was trying to be as American as possible. Yet, she is the cartoon and he is the hero. What's wrong with this picture?
shareI think what was 'wrong' with Maxine was the fact that she didn't take the time to understand or respect his culture. Even if he was Americanized and very integrated into American society, she should have had respect enough for him to at least make herself aware with how his family was, especially if she foresaw a future with him.
I speak as a wife of a man from another culture not very different from the Indian culture in many ways, had I watched this flick without my frame of reference I may have thought that he kind of being a big jerk to her...but I see clearly what he saw at the end. Even during the 'meet the parents' day, he warned her about physical acts of affection and I couldn't tell if she didn't remember (two or three times) or if she just didn't care.
Then again, I loved the parallel that the movie illustrated where he ended up marrying another Americanized Indian girl...possibly thinking he would make his mother happy and fulfill what his father would have wanted.....and they would understand each other. That wasn't anything guaranteed, was it? She certainly understood his culture and ways and she also had very little respect for him.
I think the movie illustrated very well how children of immigrants must feel, torn between two cultures, a bit lost if the parents don't have the tools to properly guide the children in such a situation. Shame about Maxine really, as an American I can tell she was probably a pretty nice girl, even if her thoughtless, 'you can't stay here forever' comment at her father's FUNERAL was tacky....I guess they both had a lot of growing up to do.
-LeLu
She was pretty much a horrible stereotype of an American girl that doesn't understand Indian culture. I mean I've met non-Indians who date/marry Indians, it seems that they would have done a better job of respecting the family than Maxine did.
Gogal even points out that the whole kissing thing is inappropriate for their Bengali family, but she does it anyway.
Even with that, I tried to like her. But after Ashoke dies I pretty much could not stand her. I know she wanted to go to India with Ashoke's ashes, but it seemed to be for the wrong reason. She seemed so intent on ignoring the fact that his family is a part of his life, like "You can't stay with them forever". And then she turned the whole thing into a pity party for herself. It's his dad's funeral and she's crying about herself?
http://i.imgur.com/Tx58L.gif