MovieChat Forums > Yeopgijeogin geunyeo (2001) Discussion > No kissing

No kissing

posted 18 years ago by PunchB
41 replies | jump to latest

Ok, I have a question. Is it normal in Korea to be going out for 4+ months, calling yourselves girlfriend and boyfriend, and still not kiss once, let alone do anything else? What kind of definition of girlfriend/boyfriend is that? It's no different from just being friends.

I find it very hard to believe that a guy would be willing to go through all that abuse from his girlfriend if she wouldn't even let him kiss her.

It actually somewhat hurt the movie for me, it's supposed to be romantic but it never really got there.

Another romantic movie without kissing is Kitano Takeshi's A Scene at the Sea. But that's such a minimalist movie, only a few scenes are shown - so it's entirely possible that they did kiss when they were alone (since it's often not usual to kiss in public in Japan). But in My Sassy Girl it's apparent that they never did kiss.

[–] richard_and_jeff 17 years ago

Also just to note! She wasn't ready, remember? She was still swaying with the time capsule. Then the movie stopped when they met again. Of course, they couldn't kiss right in front of his aunt, and if they did, his aunt might think weirdly even with the explanation. Also, if the story continued to show them kissing, I feel that it would rather destroy the movie since it has an awkward plot. I think the no kissing is more romantic as a relationship. It's like saving for the best.

[–] justa_bunny 17 years ago

*SLIGHT SPOILER*

I just have to bump this thread and say that I loved the fact that they didn't kiss. The whole friends with unrequited love angle is refreshingly realistic and presents a different, but commonly experienced side of love. (Of course, in the American version I forsee some cheesy kissing scene in the rain or something along those lines.)

Besides it being based on a true story, when you take a look at the two characters and their relationship it makes more sense for them not to kiss...

*SPOILER ALERT*
Anyway, I think it makes the ending much more romantic. Because they've done nothing intimate they have everything to look forward to.

[–] HeiseiGameraFan 17 years ago

My best friend has been going out with a girl for two years and they haven't kissed...and that's in Canada. And yes, I know 100% for sure he hasn't kissed her.

Today people make such a big fuss over things like that. I don't quite get it. Love is not a race to get into bed...love is about emotion. Lust is about the rush to get into bed.

The fact they did not kiss in the film helped demonstrate that the movie is truly about love and not lust. The guy (being a guy) obviously wanted to kiss her at times (as well as do other stuff when she was passed out in bed) but because he loved her he did not force it upon her. That is true love.

It’s ironic that in this age of “tolerance” we are the most afraid of offending people.

[–] emikojung 17 years ago

It took us 8 months to kiss alright
we're from Thailand lol

[–] ankmiike 16 years ago

Not just Korea this situation I think can happen anywhere. I wouldn't have believed it myself but I have a friend who is in love with a girl who also tags along with him n to the outsiders they look a couple. This has been going on for around 6+ months n still surprisingly they haven't kissed. The reason I think is the girl just keeps him around for his companionship. She isn't interested in a real relationship.

*#Possible Spoilers#*(but nothing serious)
I think same is the case with the movie. She actually still loves her dead guy and just keeps him around to make him do all that her 'ex' did for her, just to remind herself of him. Poor guy she was using him all this time.

It is only towards the end of the movie that she actually develops any real feelings for him.

As for your other questions weather a relation ship can go on for a long time without kissing. Yeah. There are some conservative, maybe from a conservative family, girls that wouldn't let the guy "touch" her until he agrees to marry her or actually does marry her.

There are answers to most of your questions, I think.
Happy kissing :)

And all the w**ores and politicians will look up and shout “save us!”… And I’ll look down and whisper “no.”

[–] yoonhyung81 16 years ago

Its not a cultural thing as it is more of a public image thing..... Its true that koreans date differently than americans do, but it would be silly to think that koreans do not engage in physical intimacy early in their relationships. The film portrayed a distinct and complex romance where there really was not a need for kissing scenes. Also the whole korean media is more tame in comparison to american media in respect to sex. I remember just a few years ago korean drama rarely went farther than intimate hugging. Either way this movie was so good that I didnt even realize they never kissed.

[–] dao_moon 16 years ago

That's because most asian cultures refer to respect rather than kissing and making out in public.

>_> 4months *cough*I waited more*cough*

However, you should really understand that it was more of her saying "your my boyfriend" than him agreeing ^^. Also, why do you need kissing for it to be a romantic movie? Just becuase in USA everything is sex and foul language related doesn't mean the whole world is. (Yes, I live in the usa and I am able to compare other cultural differences).

Another movie that I can think of (not korean) is Fly Me To Polaris. Based on a blind guy, can't give up the rest of the story. But also very touching and moving, no kissing.

[–] PunchB 16 years ago

I specifically said that it wasn't about kissing IN PUBLIC. The impression I got was that they didn't kiss AT ALL. I even mentioned a movie with no kissing shown that I had no problem with.

And why is it disrespectful to kiss? That sound really frakked up.

I "need" them to kiss because without that there's no difference between girlfriend/boyfriend and just friends. A movie about two friends is not a romantic movie.

[–] kliu-1 16 years ago

My 2c.

If you see a guy and girl holding hands, or with arms hooked together, would you tend to think they're dating? I would. Gyeon-Woo and the girl did those things. Like some have said, to make kissing part of the definition of "dating" is probably a Western thing, but it could also be a thing the couple has decided for or against.

To complicate things further:
In the scene after she pushes him into the water, one of Gyeon-Woo's friends asks him whether he has kissed her yet. So the film itself suggests that their non-kissing was *not* due to culture.

How to explain it then?
I agree with an earlier post that mentioned a tension. For example, on her birthday, when the soldier asks how the two are related, he says "just friends". And I didn't think that was inaccurate - I couldn't really say at that point whether they were really dating. But then after the fireworks go off, she scolds him and says "what? just friends?" At that point at least she thinks they're dating. But Gyeon-Woo only acknowledges the fact at the first meeting with her parents. And then again, does a couple break up when the two stop calling each other for long enough? And when after she walks out on the blind date, they don't officially acknowledge that they're dating again. All of this indicates that this was no ordinary relationship, and I think the writers deliberately made it ambiguous until the 10 rules scene. Also notice that the two are very non-verbal about their relationship. Neither ever says that they love the other - I'm not sure if this is a cultural thing, but it also added to the tension and the mystery, ie each doesn't really know how romantically the other feels toward the other. I think it was an effective plot device.

[–] MaxX089 16 years ago

That's not something to brag about brah.

No kissing == Just Friends. lulz

[–] le_jouvanceau 16 years ago

i don't believe the "no-kiss" is part of the real story and i certainly don't think that koreans don"t kiss at an early stage of the relationship, 4 months is too long for that anywhere you go.

there is obviously the fact that the screenwriter chose that way to build tension, but i have another explanation. A great part of the sreenplay was written before he met her with his aunt, The writer probably didn't want to disclose intimate details about her specialy in a conservative society like korea. the writter is claiming that this is true and based on his own diary, i don't think this girl and specialy her family would appreciate if he shows a scene where they kissed or had sex, it would be very wrong and embarassing. for all these arguments it was decided to not include anything physical, it'll add a beauty to the story, a certain tension, and respect of their intimacy.

[–] wasi99 16 years ago

well, i don't know much about the cultural situation...

but what concerns the original diary (translated e.g. in another post in this board), it says that *they didn't kiss also in real*. but i mean, it's anyway kind of obvious they did have a sort of strange relationship.

what's more, while the movie is quite truthful in the beginning, it gets more and more made up until the end: in real (as far as i know), he didn't meet her with his aunt anymore, as in the movie. (unfortunately, but of course; it would be an impossible coincidence)

[–] raven101010 13 years ago

Dunno if this has been answered yet, correctly anyways, but I'm not going to go through every post and look. But the reason there was no kissing is because Jun Ji-hyun is a very conservative actress. She refuses to do any nudity in her movies, she won't even go as far as a kissing scene. Or that's what I've read about her.