MovieChat Forums > Yeopgijeogin geunyeo (2001) Discussion > No kissing

No kissing

posted 18 years ago by PunchB
41 replies | jump to latest

Ok, I have a question. Is it normal in Korea to be going out for 4+ months, calling yourselves girlfriend and boyfriend, and still not kiss once, let alone do anything else? What kind of definition of girlfriend/boyfriend is that? It's no different from just being friends.

I find it very hard to believe that a guy would be willing to go through all that abuse from his girlfriend if she wouldn't even let him kiss her.

It actually somewhat hurt the movie for me, it's supposed to be romantic but it never really got there.

Another romantic movie without kissing is Kitano Takeshi's A Scene at the Sea. But that's such a minimalist movie, only a few scenes are shown - so it's entirely possible that they did kiss when they were alone (since it's often not usual to kiss in public in Japan). But in My Sassy Girl it's apparent that they never did kiss.

[–] lkwon21 18 years ago

I don't know if you're korean or not, but the way relationships develop in korean culture is so different than how they develop in some other places, the USA, for example [which is where I live]. So living in the USA, and also coming from a korean cultural background, I can see and understand the differences between the two.

[–] aznguy0103 18 years ago

naww its not a culture thing. Its the same thing in every country, girlfriends and boyfriends kiss.

but this is just simply an extraordinarily weird relationship. That simply just took place in Korea.

gawwd this movie was hilarious

[–] HULK-SMASH 18 years ago

It's not normal for them to not kiss, no. They'd be goin' at it like hotcakes on an oily fry pan the minute they got up the courage to hold hands and rent a room.

...................
It's a movie, people! It's not, nor is it meant to be, real life!

[–] fancyunicorn 18 years ago

shows just how awesome this romance film is. I was in a relationship sorta like that. We didn't kiss until her birthday, which was about two weeks after we started going out. i guess we didn't need it

[–] themisfit 18 years ago

But that made this film different from other romantic comedies, I mean it was barely melodramatic.

[–] richard_and_jeff 17 years ago

This movie is based on a true story...

[–] holdek01 12 years ago

naww its not a culture thing. Its the same thing in every country, girlfriends and boyfriends kiss.

Not Muslim countries.

[–] viciouszeroender 18 years ago

a romantic movie without a kiss? and it's still good?
that tells u something doesn't it?

[–] fancyunicorn 18 years ago

It's not just a good romantic movie. It's a good movie in general

[–] otip_cris 18 years ago

Most Asian countries i think are more conservative when it comes to relationships. So more often than not, it was reflected in their films. I live in the Philippines, and I can still say that we're still conservative. Kissing isn't really neccessary for a girl-boy relationship. It's just "One" of the ways to show you love someone. What matters the most is that when the one you love needs you, you're always there for her, just like what Gyun-Woo did. Personally, me watching that film without seeing a kissing scene just added sincerity to it.

[–] yourfd 16 years ago

True that. This posting had changed my mindset about this movie, really.

At the beginnin I was curious to watch the remake.
Today I'm watching it (at the very moment), and I felt like Hollywood murdering "My Sassy Girl" somewhat, because everything I understand because I've seen the original and it's an almost pure copy even the script sounds like subtitles from the original!! Not really natural American daily conversation..
BUT, as far as the love story goes and the no kissing/ sex thing, it's a pretty good movie for Hollywood. It's almost UNSEEN nowadays for American theatrical to see a movie without sex or at least kiss, because this is the perception of "romantic" but that's not true.. a kiss is one of many ways to show affection...

and just to answer the question.. maybe it's odd for some western cultures, but YES, some EASTERN (Asian in general i guess) families who STILL holds traditional values (which is getting less and less nowadays), it's common to not kiss between these couples.. and they both have no objection cuz they felt (from what they were taught) it's really WRONG thing to do/taboo to have sex before marriage, just like it's wrong to steal from a beggar.. well, u get the idea. But then again, it's 2008.. morals are dropped among youngsters. :)

[–] sokkenmakers 16 years ago

morals change, they're not dropped.

[–] Desertman84 16 years ago

If you want to watch a Korean movie with a sexy scene,try "Happy End"

[–] PunchB 18 years ago

OP here. Lots of contradicting answers. Can someone who's actually from Korea answer? (And of course I'm not from Korea, or I wouldn't be asking this question.)

And before you say it's normal to not kiss, is it also normal to not kiss for 4+ months?

[–] bumfromkorea 18 years ago

Considering how liberalized Korea has become, for a boyfriend/girlfriend to not to kiss for four months is not normal (but not THAT shocking either).

However, consider that Gyunwoo and "The Girl" never declared themselves as a couple. Sure, considering all aspects of their relationship, they were more or less in such relationship, but at least on the outside they were not.

[–] rainwaterdrought 18 years ago

Let me tell you that it is more conservative in South Korea when it comes down to relationships. When I visited my cousin in Korea, the first thing he asked me when I told him I had a girlfriend was "Have you kissed her?". I thought it was extremely weird, considering we were in Junior year of High School and that many of my friends had already had sex by then. If I were back in the states, my friends would ask me "Have you had sex with her?" instead of have i kissed her or not. Anyways, I don't know if this is just my cousin's case, but when you court someone in South Korea, you save your kiss for someone special. My cousin actually went out with this girl multiple times, but they never kissed. I asked him why and he plainly told me that she wasn't the one. Having said that, I think it's a little unusual the characters in My Sassy Girl didn't kiss for 4+ months. By that time, my cousin would have either kissed her months ago or dumped her.

But of course, there are people who still kiss on the first date and also do raunchy things (from what my cousin tells me at least). Anyways, genuine relationships aren't supposed to be rushed and I think my cousin is just looking for someone to have a relationship with, not someone who he could satisfy his male urges with.

I think that the fact that they didn't kiss for 4+ months just shows how genuine and real their relationship was (probably what the director intended to convey).

[–] PunchB 18 years ago

Thanks for that.
I actually agree with the viewpoint that genuine relationships shouldn't be rushed, and I don't think kissing on the first date is necessarily such a great thing. When you know it isn't the one, I think it's great that you don't kiss. However, when you actually see yourself as girlfriend and boyfriend, I think kissing is "in order." :)

[–] aznbaby42 18 years ago

Yeah I'm from Korea. Basically, Korea is more conservative than the US. I mean, not a lot of ppl in Korea will have a one night stand. (But I'm not saying there won't be. It's just more frowned upon.) And it depends on the relationship. There's weird ones everywhere, you know? But for 4+ months.... maybe. But like I said, the reason it was made into a movie was because it was an abnormal relationship. ^__^

[–] honey_stars89 17 years ago

just cos western society only know how to show 'love' through sex and making out doesn't mean asians do that.

[–] prom778 17 years ago

just cos western society only know how to show 'love' through sex and making out doesn't mean asians do that.

The reason is Asian-Americans are becoming more and more White-washed, fitting in like White people. Eastern cultures tend to express love through emotions and caring for one another - Western culture express love through trying to gett "laid."

"Life is great...without it...you'll be dead!" - Gummo

[–] rainbowsix1990 17 years ago

Are you insane?

[–] bee1010 17 years ago

Although this move is based on a true story, i don't think everything was extremely accurate. Maybe in real life they did kiss, but the director decided not to incorporate it into the movie.

[–] Gaysian_Lloyd 16 years ago

no thats just hollywood. And asia is a little bit more conservative. I have lived and travelled throughout asia and dating is pretty similar but they just dont flaunt their love as much. Thats not true either in some places ive been like japan, thailand, and parts of china where it is far more prevalent than in the west

"God is not merciful to he who is not merciful to people"- Prophet Muhammad

[–] omega_dragonmaster 18 years ago

Asians in general don't do well with physical affection. That's probably pretty normal.

I love that they have a "silent love" type thing... like you know they care about each other without them having to do much to show it.

[–] vparitosh 18 years ago

Made sense.

No problems....

[–] grkszz 18 years ago

ITS BETTER THAN A DAMN AFFECTATION KISS(USALLY A FILM FROM USA)!

[–] godfarter 17 years ago

Just my thoughts :)

firstly, i think the fact that there is no kiss throughout the film adds a deliberate tension throughout - as evidenced by reactions of you guys.

The "first kiss" in popular culture between 2 people in a romance (as opposed to a sexual relationship)is supposed to be sweet,memorable,etc,etc and signal a change in direction to something more serious. I think at anytime in the movie if that kiss happened, the 'feel' of the story/relationship would have been very different.

I don't think its an issue of Koreans or Asians not being as open to putting out. Probably the writers' way of preserving a heady purity of two people being in love within such a fantastical storyline.

Also he did try to kiss her when he walked her home in the rain outside her house but was foiled when the klutz ruined his moment when he pressed the doorbell.

PunchB
I find it very hard to believe that a guy would be willing to go through all that abuse from his girlfriend if she wouldn't even let him kiss her

i'm not one myself, but i think BDSM couples/players are a good example of how this is possible as there might not be any actual sex/intimacy involved.

Thing is all the fuss over whether they should have kissed or that its impossible that they didn't is not important at all.

Kissing is OVER-RATED! (And could have spoiled the movie!)

Here's a list off the top of my head where after the kiss, things go downhill:

1) Titanic - Jack & Rose. Ship sinks. Jack dies.
2) Romeo + Juliet - After "My lips, to blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss..." their families find out about their relationship, the star-crossed lovers end up killing themselves.
3) Judas Iscariot - betrays Jesus with kiss. Jesus gets crucified.

Oh i hope they don't ruin this movie in the hollywood remake. Although elisha cuthbert does have very kissable lips by the look of things :P

[–] 17 years ago

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