This film grossed less than $1 million at the box office and would be totally forgotten if it weren't for interest sparked by pictures of Selma Blair's interracial sex scene.
Nice attempt to equate box office with quality. Unfortunately for you, many of the best films being made today make very little at the box office.
In addition, your theory about why the film is remembered kind of sucks. I had no idea that Selma Blair had a sex scene in the film and still rented it for the first time a few weeks ago. I've become a fan of Solondz and found this to be his most enjoyable film so far.
As for the "cruel treatment" of his characters - you may think that you may have delivered some sort of trump card with your "almost the whole family is killed at the end", but, well, you didn't. A director (or writer) can have immense sympathy and empathy for his or her characters and still allow cruel things to happen to them. The original quotation was that he is "never cruel in his treatment of the characters" - and that's true. Yes, the family members die, but it's not an act to be celebrated - he still treats the characters with respect. It's about the attitude towards the characters, not the events that happen to them. In fact, it's actually quite remarkable that he still manages to elicit sympathy for each of his characters - from the family to the professor to the maid - even when it depicts them doing terrible things.
There are many filmmakers who sometimes put their characters through the wringer and who allow cruel things to happen but who are, nonetheless, never cruel in their treatment (once again: it's not the events that occur that determine whether they "are cruel in their treatment", but rather their attitudes towards the characters.) Other filmmakers that allow bad things to happen to their characters but who nevertheless quite clearly have great empathy for their characters: Isao Takahata ("Grave of the Fireflies), Elem Klimov ("Come and See"), Mike Leigh ("Naked", "Vera Drake"), the Dardenne brothers ("Rosetta", "L'enfant", "Lorna's Silence"). Using your logic, one could argue that Lukas Moodysson's "Lilja 4-ever" shows the filmmaker's "cruelty" - as many, many terrible things happen to Lilja and Volodya, the two protagonists. However, such an argument would be ignoring the actual tone of the film and its attitudes towards the characters. It would also be ignoring the fact that Moodysson, at the time, was one of the most humane, empathic, and compassionate filmmakers in the world, and one who always treated his characters with great love (as also evidenced by the utterly beautiful "Together" and "Show Me Love".)
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
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