MovieChat Forums > Donnie Brasco (1997) Discussion > Wife was annoying, ungrateful, selfish, ...

Wife was annoying, ungrateful, selfish, etc.

posted 14 years ago by chillyacademic
27 replies | jump to latest

I don't understand how she can complain about domestic issues while he is putting his life on the line infiltrating a dangerous criminal society, severely conflicted by both his job and his conscience.

I get that she doesn't see him anymore but she really had to take a step back and put it all in perspective. Donnie said something to this effect in that counseling scene, he was absolutely right.

What an ungrateful wife.
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[–] Little_Korean 14 years ago

Well, it's a bit more complex than that - after all, he was so barely around that she started telling people she was a widow just to avoid embarassment. The whole point of that subplot was to show the stress of the operation on the people around Pistone as well as on Pistone himself, although the actress playing the wife (forgot her name) played her too shrilly so she did come off as seriously annoying.

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[–] Rufusifer 14 years ago

I couldnt agree more. She showed no support for him knowing full well how dangerous and confidential his job could be. I couldnt stand how negative and naggy she was during their only interactions where they should have treasured their minimal time together. The only annoying part of an otherwise quality movie.

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] nek-5 14 years ago

yeah, i got that vibe too. but where there's also the secrecy of the whole operation that you need to take into account, there was obviously also more going on behind the scenes. i chalk it up to the movie's failure to develop the strain on the marriage better, not necessarily faults of her character.

[–] mustsilm 14 years ago

One thing you need to understand is that it was a huge operation and a long one...wikipedia says that operation Donnie Brasco was 5 years long.

I think the movie failed to recognize that, i didnt feel that they were doing it for 5 years.

But 5 years is too long for any relationship, and no wonder Donnie was almost becoming one of "them".

You can read about the actual events from wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_D._Pistone

5 YEARS!!!!

[–] eyeforaneye2002 14 years ago

He was away from his family for months at a time. He missed many of his daughters events, such as birthdays and school events. It was hard on his family, because they had no idea where he was or wheather he was dead. The danger was ever present.

[–] MuchToBeGratefulFor 13 years ago

And as she said in their Christmas scene, he told her it would be a 3-month situation, and it had now dragged on two years.

You must be the change you seek in the world. -- Gandhi

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] matt605 13 years ago

Yes, some people spend their entire lives in different worlds, regardless of how close in proximity they are.

That said, it was Maggie who really blew Joe's cover in the counseling session. She mocked him about the way he was talking and that she did not marry a man who spoke that way. And yet we are to believe that Joe successfully deceived all the wiseguys into believing that he was not a college-educated, FBI agent.

[–] Avwillfan89 13 years ago

I don't understand why they made Pistone's wife such an arrogent selfish bitch in this film. In real life she wasn't like that. She supported her husband through thick and thin and understood what his job required him to do.

Pistone said to her in the beginning that he would have never taken the job if he knew she couldn't handle it. So why was she acting so horrible, taking him to marriage counseling and seeking a divorce and nagging him all the time? She knew perfectly well what the job was all about, and then she complains about it.

[–] vhs1999 13 years ago

thanks to whoever posted this as i now dont have to....and forgive me if some of this has been raised before....

pistone was out there puting his life on the line and earning a living so that his wife and kids could grow up in a nice home with nice clothes and able to have food on the table each night....and all she could do is wine about how her life was tough. i mean isnt it ment to be that when your in a relationship of any sort that your suppose to love each other not matter what and accept each other no matter what.

i actualy thought she deserved that slap in the face because obviously she doesnt know were her place in the scheme of things. in a household the man is in charge and the wife and children must do as the man says. the man goes out to work and earns a living while the wife stays at home and looks after the kids. ive seen this more often than you think and especialy in real life were the man is out earning a living and all the wife does is wine about how tough she has got things.

i mean when will women get there act togethor.

[–] lavenderspirit2005 12 years ago

i actualy thought she deserved that slap in the face because obviously she doesnt know were her place in the scheme of things. in a household the man is in charge and the wife and children must do as the man says. the man goes out to work and earns a living while the wife stays at home and looks after the kids. ive seen this more often than you think and especialy in real life were the man is out earning a living and all the wife does is wine about how tough she has got things.

i mean when will women get there act togethor.

You lost everyone there, bucko, and completely invalidated whatever "point" you wanted to make.

If it was reversed, the wife being an undercover agent and the husband making annoying demands, my opinion would remain the same.

It's not about a delusional sense of what a "woman's place" is, but a man and wife having mutual respect for each other.

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[–] RandBall 13 years ago

I thought Lefty's wife seemed more committed and adoring of her husband.

[–] charlesdusk 12 years ago

The character was basically a cliche. If you watch a lot of Hollywood films, this kind of character and plot point appears all the time.

As for Lefty's wife: she was clearly weak willed. Not really supportive.

[–] Vashramana 12 years ago

Well what about military wives who don't see their husbands for very long periods of time? She should understand what he is going through to support his family. She doesn't have to like the situation, but it is what it is. She should not be mad at him at all, he is doing everything he can in a very hard situation. It's not like he can just say "screw this I quit".

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] lavenderspirit2005 12 years ago

It seems like that that's become a 'stock character" in so many crime and cop movies...the whining, nagging wife putting pressure on the hard-working husband. I found her annoying myself, and yes, if I had been her, I would have darn well put everything into perspective. It would be my husband's line of work, he would be risking his life to put dangerous men behind bars---it's a pretty honorable career. Why carp about trivial issues like whether he's there for Christmas or not? It's all about the bigger picture, in my opinion. Now because of what Agent Pistone did, putting his life on the line, he's renown as a legend of law enforcement and he did a great thing for the city of NY along with the country in general.

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[–] knifeparty2004 11 years ago

I can´t stand the annoying wife character, they seem to put one in every single movie, the annoying wife, or the annoying girlfriend. I don´t know why they include these scenes repeatedly, they are not entertaining, I thought it significantly brought down an otherwise good movie.

[–] AfroGeek 12 years ago

I've seen this sort of thing a lot as an army brat. Lots of wives hate being "single parents" while their husbands are off fighting. It doesn't matter what he's doing, all they know is they're the ones shoveling snow and chasing after 3 kids with no help.

Amy: I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!