Another movie people only praise because of nostalgia and not because it is really that good

I'm Betting there isn't a movie on this site YOU DON'T BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT

When this movie came out, I saw the trailer and commercials and I thought, "The guy who gave us Halloween and Escape from NY and The Thing made this piece of crap?!" It just looked like a bad, dumb joke. I didn't go see it. I never heard anyone talk about it. I always figured Spielberg had 1941, Lucas had Howard the Duck, and Carpenter had Big Trouble Little China.

It was about 20 years ago the first time I heard someone say it was one of their favorites movies. And then maybe a couple years after that when I first noticed people describing it as a classic. I saw it for the first time 20 years ago, had absolutely no idea what those people were on about. I just re-watched it for the first time over the weekend, thinking maybe I'd 'get it' this time. It's not the worst movie in the world, but I have no idea how anyone could have strong feelings about it one way or the other. It was a mildly amusing/entertaining way to kill a couple of hours chilling on my couch eating ludicrously high priced takeout ('special combination' chow mein and deep fried shrimp.) Maybe in another 20 years I'll watch again to see if I finally get it.

It is great because it is not the movie that it appears to be.

The hero is not the hero.
The iconic lines are absolute nonsense that sound like deep thinking but aren't.
The actual hero is, frankly, a minor character who has barely a purpose other than wanting to marry a green eyed Chinese woman who is barely more than a mannequin.
Kim Catrell is playing a caricature of a caricature.
Random characters appear and then fade away for no purpose whatsoever. Just think to yourself, what's the name of the Chinese dude that helps them through the first half of the movie? No idea? Exactly. He drives the story forward, but leaves no traces.

The movie is everything that it isn't. That's what makes it better every time you watch it. Every time, it pretends to do something that should be cool in the 80's but falls completely flat, purposefully.