Sure it is, verbal bullying can scar a person for a long time. In fact I would say most bullying is verbal, having been a recipient of it myself. It can lead to suicide in some cases.
But physical abuse is a much,
much more of a traumatic scar.
I think psychologists greatly underestimate the impacts of physical abuse on children. Think about it...it's not just physical abuse. It's verbal, physical, and emotional all in one. You fear your parents (the very people who are supposed to be protecting you). You live in a perpetual state of fear.
How do caged and corned animals act? Apply this to a person.
As for authority figures failing Bender, I think you are deducing quite a bit from a two hour movie. You can only really go by how he acted in the movie. He picked on Brian, who was basically humble, how did he need to be taken down a peg? Granted he didn't do anything really bad to him but he was very condescending to him and basically contemptuous of him, mostly because he was jealous of Brian for having a normal home life. I can sympathize with Bender for having a bad home life, but not for tearing down others because they did not and acting like it was a bad thing.
The kid is still living in a home where he is abused; I'd say my statement is pretty accurate based on that alone. These days people call child services if a parent raises their voice in a shopping mall. Back then, most kids suffered silently. In Bender's case, even his peers did not believe him. Why would any of his teachers?
I'd also like to point out that Bender (from his own admission) suffered from not only physical abuse, but verbal abuse as well. (And emotional).
He also demeaned Claire sexually, and name called Andrew as well. He called him an idiot without even really knowing him. He toned that down once Andrew made him eat the floor and he realized he couldn't mouth off to him without consequences.
Victims often take on the role of abuser. That's usually a sign of someone who is deeply traumatized from an experience.
I say this as someone who suffered from extreme verbal abuse from my
own father. His father used to beat the living sht out of him when he was growing up. He took the brunt of his abuse because my father was trying to protect his mother and younger siblings. My dad's go to coping mechanism is to fly into violent rages. He smashed pretty much everything in the house except for our faces.
I'd say I am a much healthier person than he is, even if I do have scars. Scars which are easier to bear as I grow older. My dad's scars are permanently etched into his psyche, whereas mine become easier to deal with the older I get and understand myself. My problems can be worked through, talked through, and dealt with. My dad is a broken human being.
I'm not saying there were not things to sympathize with about Bender, but don't act like he was totally innocent. I know plenty of people that had bad home lives hat didn't act like Bender. I would venture to say Vernon's actions in the closet may have helped Bender in the long run, may have taken him down a peg and made him realize that demeaning people verbally was not the answer to his problems.
So your answer to stop others from demeaning people is to....demean them. Your cure for verbal abuse is to become verbally abusive.
I'm not acting like he's innocent, but I don't agree that Vernon's actions helped in
anyway. I think Vernon
thought his actions were helping him but, that's because he did
not understand the
bigger picture. Vernon's not a bad guy, he just doesn't know how to get through to a kid like Bender because
no one can.
A kid like Bender is
fundamentally broken and scarred for life. A verbal abuse victim, although scarred, is not
that far gone.
I say this as someone whose father was a Bender and as someone who was a victim of verbal abuse growing up.
I am not so traumatized that I can't make my way through the world as a decent person. Someone like Bender, or my dad, is so far gone that they've lost all sense of that.
You're welcome to disagree with me, I understand your perspective. I just don't agree with it from my own personal experience. Sorry.
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