MovieChat Forums > The Touch of Satan (1971) Discussion > Quotes from the MST3K version

Quotes from the MST3K version

posted 18 years ago by rudeboy8080
14 replies | jump to latest

Mike: You know he's Satan. He didn't signal his turn!
[After Lucinda kills the police officer]
Tom: Can't they just call Harvey Keitel over to fix things?

Mike: Crow, I am putting you on Clu Gullager alert.
Crow: THERE HE IS! CLU GULLAGER! Oh, it's Monte Markham. I should resign my post.
Mike: This is very 70's. I am guessing Anthony Zerbe is in this.
Mike: They hand cuffed him to the meat loaf!

[Lucinda kills a farmer and the editor dissolves to Melissa and her "parents" eating dinner, talking, and laughing]
Crow: ...and then he died!

Luthor Strickland: I sometimes put peanuts in it...
Crow: I am glad he said 'peanuts'.

Tom: Emby Melley? That's not a name. That's a bad Scabble hand!
Angry mob: BURN THE WITCH! BURN THE WITCH!
Mike: GO PACKERS, but mostly BURN THE WITCH!

Mike: I am not going back, Jim!
Tom: A nice private place to practice "streaking"!

[–] KillerKane 18 years ago

I damn near died laughing when I heard these lines:

"Sightsee on your own time, Beelzebub!"
"Get off the road, mangoat!"

[–] margocarpenter 17 years ago

"Who's got it goin' on? Me, that's who."

I'm a self-hating

[–] WVUer21 16 years ago

"You took too many porkchops."

"Mooninites unite!"
"Lock in!"

[–] poorlittleteacher 16 years ago

Store Clerk (in the middle of telling a joke to customers and giggling): "One...two...three..."
Mike (mocking giggling): "...and get this...FOUR!"

Servo as Melissa when Jodie saves her after they made love: (Paraphrasing) "So you gave your soul up to the devil so you could have SECONDS?!"

Servo as Melissa's "dad": "I love the Yelling Channel."

[–] XNSuper 13 years ago

when luther came into the room all fast

"the walnuts are uprising!"

[–] mike_the_bloody 13 years ago

Mike: David Spade as Satan
Crow: That's good casting

Crow: (as Jodie) So can you tell me how to get your daughter in the sack?

Servo: Those walnuts are tearing through the hay!

Crow: (as Jodie) This is where my tongue lives

Servo: (as Jodie) Did a plucked turkey in a wig just talk to me?

Servo: There's a delightful scene later in the film where the old woman raps

Mike: (as Jodie) I've said "Zah!" in better towns than this

Servo: (as Deputy Mason) Obviousaly a herd of Grandmas came through here

Crow: Killer Grandma got back!

Crow: (as Grandma) Where's my bike?! I reported it stolen 80 years ago!

Mike: Look at that smoke. Everyone must be burning their Grandmas today

"I'm just a happy camper! Rockin' and a-rollin'!" - Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

[–] Rene_Sens 12 years ago

Servo (singing nicely during opening credits): When there's just a touch of Satan in your heart...

Crow (a policeman's standing by the door): DIE, DIE, DIE!! I mean - hello!

Servo (singing the Amazing Grace theme): This song is in public domain. That's why we used it twice.

[–] JimD1701 11 years ago

Mike, as the farmer in the beginning: "Hello, pile of dung."

Jodie: "Nice looking town you have here."
Crow, as gas station attendant: "You can't pay, can you."

Wake up, America!www.Apathetic-USA.com

[–] lenmchast 11 years ago

Mike (as Melissa): "Goodnight, fish!"
Tom (as the fish in the pond [Kevin Murphy making the underwater voice by flicking his finger over his lips]): "Goodnight, kids!!"

[–] bobbyp1966 11 years ago

The reference to Rush's "The Trees", singing a few bars of it...

[–] lenmchast 11 years ago

Tom (as Luther is baleing hay): Boy, the walnuts are tearing into that hay!