IMO, he handled himself well, even afterwards, saying he wished her no ill and wanted people to leave her alone.
If I were he, I wouldn't have told her my apartment number either, and would have been POed at being challenged to enter my own building, which she several times referred to as *her* building, when the fact was it was his as well. As far as he knew, who the h*ll was she to challenge him? No one. Still, he handled it without any overt hostility and was as polite as he could be considering the circumstances.
As far as if she challenged him because he was black, as you say, only she knows that for certain. Maybe yes, maybe no.
But as MissMargo said, if I were concerned that someone was entering the building where I lived with ill intent, I certainly would *not* get into an elevator with him, get into his face like she did, and follow him all the way to his door.
I don't know what happened prior to his turning on his phone and recording all of this. Was she just going out the building to walk her dog and encountered him coming in? Did he not use the security keypad most people use? What, exactly, if anything, happened to make her so suspicious, or was she suspicious of him merely because he's black? Don't know.
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ProductionNow (1072)
6 years ago
I'd say she had a sense self-importance about her, as "managers" often do. They often dont' know where to draw the line on how important they are and/or have an arrogant personality, not that being a manager isn't important.
Does anyone know what he looked like? If a white man who looked shabby and homeless, for example, was trying to enter the building, she would have reacted differently than a white man dressed in a suit; that's how people are in general. But, for her to follow him to his door and get into the elevator with him, she must have either been facing her fear which takes guts, or was dense to not be fearful (as you and Miss Margo said). However, (based on tradition) it doesn't occur to many women that a man is going to assault them, instead of 2 men--and even then, men will select who to physically confront based on how tough/passive the other man looks.
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Catbookss (13664)
6 years ago
Could be she did have a sense of self-importance, as a manager. She never told him she was a manager there, which might have made the situation somewhat better as far as his understanding of her behaviour. Or not.
I saw him in one of the videos. He was well dressed and well groomed. There was nothing about his appearance that warranted her behaviour towards him.
Many if not most women have concerns that men who strike them as suspicious in some way might assault them, especially in an enclosed area such as an elevator. Which is why it doesn't make sense that if she genuinely thought he posed some sort of danger, she got into the elevator with him, continued to aggressively confront him, and follow him all the way to his door.
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ProductionNow (1072)
6 years ago
You said "Many if not most women have concerns that men who strike them as suspicious in some way might assault them", which I didn't' quite get. Do you mean women who have been assaulted by men before would be suspicious? Ironically, we may have answered our own question: since he was dressed nicely and well-mannered, that could have made her feel safe that he was not a physical threat. (or she's plain dense)
Not having seen the video completely, I don't know if the whole tape is shown where she may have said she was the manager immediately, since he would have no reason to tape until the altercation started.
So, when she calls the police ( who have better things to do than investigate a person feeling uneasy about another), I wonder what she said, and what they asked her, to make it seem so vital that they come. I don't know, police in a big city need a strong reason to make a visit. Any exaggerated over-dramatic info she may have told the police would be reason to fire her.
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Catbookss (13664)
6 years ago
Most women are aware that most men are physically stronger than they are, so there's always the possibility of being physically assaulted, whether or not they themselves have been assaulted. Not that paranoia is the way to go, but awareness and some degree of caution is only common sense.
As I said earlier, I don't know what happened prior to his feeling it was a good idea to record this event on his phone. Was there something that gave this woman reasonable reason to be wary of him, or not? We don't know. But based on what was shown, and his demeanor, coupled with her willingness to get into the elevator alone with him, I have to question that she had any real reason to be fearful of him. If she had, the most sensible thing to do was go to her own apartment and call the police.
In the video I saw, and I watched several of them, she didn't tell him she was the manager at all.
Nor did I see anything that said she did call the police. That's just what I saw; maybe she did, but I didn't see that in any of the videos I saw.
Based only on what I saw, I understand this man's annoyance, and think he responded very well to her. Without knowing what happened prior to his recording it, I can't comment on things from this woman's perspective, except it appears he got in without using a security key and that's why she challenged him to begin with, although it may also have to do with the fact that he's black. I can only comment on what I saw in the video.
Overall, this strikes me as something of a storm in a teacup.
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ProductionNow (1072)
6 years ago
Even though women are certainly aware that men could assault them, it wasn't the head-space she was coming from. That's why I pointed out the fact of him being well-dressed and well-mannered, which would likely make her less fearful of him using violence. Or if that wasn't the case, she was being brave, which is foolish. It would be comparable to a woman fighting a man over her purse being snatched when the safest thing would be to protect herself, since she would never know what weapons the perpetrator has on him, nor would she be a physical-match to fight him off.
With 2 men, I believe the fear of being assaulted by a stranger is more overt and comes more forth to their consciousness (the testosterone-thing). You may have to be a man to understand, since men have the unfortunate experience of dealing with this in trivial situations. Women are more likely to be assaulted and battered by someone they know (husband, boyfriend)
In other words, this woman may have been relying ( however, subconsciously) on the "a man doesn't ever strike a woman" that we were raised to uphold, and instilled in us.
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