A man is taking an early flight.
The attendant comes by with breakfast service.
"Good morning, if you are hungry, we have cereal or bagels to choose from."
He responds, "Thanks, can I get a poppy seed bagel with cream cheese?"
The attendant shoots him a disapproving, shocked expression.
"Sir, this is a professional airline. We only serve plane bagels."
*rimshot*
Why did the pig quit sunbathing?
He was bacon in the heat.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's not a racist joke, it's a pun. The answer is: [spoiler]Juan[/spoiler]
Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep. π
This is so baaaaaad.
There were some big floods in the area,so a truly believer take shelter on the roof of his house
The water is almost to the roof when the first chopper appears
* Come on,climb on * says someone in that chopper
* No, thanks.I pray to God and he will save me* then the chopper leaves
The water is almost to his chest when the second chopper appears
*What are you doing, let's go!*
*No,thanks.I pray to god and he will help me!*
The water is almost to his neck when the third chopper appears
*You're about to die,climb this ladder*
*No,thanks.I pray to God and he will help me*
The chopper leaves and he dies
Arrived in heaven he ask God
*Why didn't you helped me?*
*I did sent you three choppers, didn't I?*
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
shareWhat is a fowl move?
Publishing someone's duck tape.