Things I learned from watching Mandy

If you don't have enough movie to fill up two hours, there are some ways to stretch it out. Run a few scenes in slow motion. Very slow motion. Have the characters stare at each other a long time. Add a lot of scenes of characters slowly waking up and slowly walking.

Plot isn't important if you're confused about genre. Just put in lots of scenes with fire and spewing blood. Viewers will love that.

Don't be afraid to steal ideas (lots of them) from other writers and directors. Call it homage.

If you can't afford a decent score, just use a lot of loud synthesized fuzz guitars and drums.

Get rid of the film's best actor in the first hour so other actors will have a chance to look adequate.

Loggers have superhuman healing powers from stab and puncture wounds.

Nicholas Cage knows how to frown and open his eyes really wide, even when things seem to be normal.