Chvy Chase is hard to find in this movie!

Chevy, where in this movie are you? I'd like to think your entrails are rotting away in the belly of the land shark (spoiler alert! the movie Landshark is about a landshark!) Maybe I am just projecting the thoughts of many of your former costars.

Chevy has made many enemies on his way up to the top and many on his way back down, and talking about that is much more interesting than talking about this movie. Chevy if you're reading this let's do lunch. I've got ideas to relaunch your career.

Can you imagine if they had made the SNL Landshark skit into a movie? Such a limited concept. It would probably result in 3 minutes of fun and 87 minutes of crap. So, it would have 3 minutes over THIS Landshark movie. The opening of this movie, if intended to get me on the side of the landshark, works perfectly. If not, well, don't open the door to this movie no matter what it claims to be!

Telegram. Flowers. Polonia Movie. Can I come in ma'm?
NO!