MovieChat Forums > Collateral Beauty (2016) Discussion > Here's the script for this movie.

Here's the script for this movie.


It's set after the events of "The pursuit of happiness".

Will Smith's character screws up on his sixth month on the job. He screws up big time. After having gained a reputation for being quick solving rubix cube's, his boss couldn't keep up with his antics.

He kept arriving late at the office dressed in sneakers and wearing jerseys of his favorite basketball team, the NY Knicks. He kept bringing Charles Oakley's jersey, which was odd because most people at the office figured that if anything he would be wearing Patrick Ewing's.

One day he arrived with a basketball and bounced the hell out of that ball, finally jumping through hoops and over the cubicles of his co-workers, shouting and yelling "WHAT YOU GONNA DO 'BOUT IT !?!?!?" while also screaming "IN YER FACE DUMBASS!" each time he mimecked a slam dunk.

Then Edward Norton character finds him downstairs crying in the building's lobby, and promises him to start a secret fight club so he can liberate some of the trapped energy he has inside.

Unfortunately, things don't fare well for him.

He takes a huge beating on his first fight and Ed Norton's character has to take Will to the hospital. After arriving back home, Kate Winslet (Ed's character's ex girlfriend) finds Ed's character washing and bathing Will's, pretty similar to how Eddie Murphy was being washed in the initial scene of "Coming to America" (remember "the royal penis is clean").

Ed tells him he's not gay and even if he was that is not her problem. So he locks himself in his room, while Kate resumes cleaning Will. She starts cleaning him, massaging his legs and all of a sudden little Will wakes up and gets real hard!

Kate sees that humoungous penis and needless to say she takes off her clothes immediately -as she likes to do in all her movies-, and reveals herself in all her glory -with her bush quite hairy-. Will is now impressed and his penis gets even harder. Kate sees that huge thing and surrenders herself to the magnanimous penis, blowing Will for over 30 minutes.

The noise of Will and Kate having sex prevents Ed's character from sleeping, but luckly his current girlfriend arrives (Keira Knightly) and gets in bed with her. Both of them have sweet sex and sleepover till the next day.

When Will and Ed's character wake up, they found that their respective sexual partners are gone, nowhere to be found. However, in the bathroom mirrors, they found a note written with red lipstick that says

"Welcome to the world of AIDS! :) "

Then the screen fades to black with the title of the film "Collateral Beauty"

The post credits scene features Kate and Keira joining forces in a swingers party, and in the background the faces of the US President and Vladimir Putin are revealed!

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That script is the best thing I've read in a while

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Pretty good. You had me going for the first paragraph or two.

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5.8 out of 10

Told you this was going to be a huge piece of crap

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