You can do better than this -- Matt Walsh

It's hard to decide what's a sadder picture: the women who will go see the 50 Shades sequel this weekend while pretending that they're better than the sorts of dudes who frequent strip clubs and porn shops, or the henpecked men who will accompany their wives and girlfriends to the theater so that they may sit in obedient silence as their women fantasize about being sexually abused by a sociopathic millionaire for 2 hours. But I guess I need not decide between the two. Everyone involved is degrading themselves. The whole scene is disturbing. A bunch of adults sitting together in a room to watch bondage porn based on an erotic fanfic novel written at a third grade reading level. It's like something from Idiocracy, if Idiocracy were rated NC-17.

You can do better than this, folks. Hold yourself to a higher standard. Value your dignity and your intelligence just a little more. Don't line up like cattle to consume the inane, brain melting, soul numbing filth that Hollywood has cynically produced for you. Resist. Isn't that the trendy slogan these days? Resist. Yes, resist the urge to be as morally vacant and self-debasing as Hollywood expects you to be. Resist, I say.

If you're looking for a good date idea instead, may I suggest bowling? Or Lego Batman. That's what I'll be taking my son to this weekend, in fact. And I fully expect a film about plastic superheroes to be Citizen Kane in comparison to 50 Shades. I'm also guessing that the acting will be much more lifelike.