Every time something like this is promoted one of the very first questions they ask is if you have any problem with smoking.
Heather either totally lied to help her get the gig in the first place or is now using it as an excuse for not being attracted to Derek and looking for a way out.
Either way she was dishonest by not telling them NO SMOKERS allowed. Which is much easier than you think.
I am a smoker and know exactly what it is like to have someone that is supposed to be yours and only yours working against you at every step. It's not easy to quit smoking and like alcoholism it's easier to stop with support than with somebody trying to beat you up over it.
If somebody doesn't want to me to be myself then I'm not all that interested in her either.
K/H D
If there's a way to screw something up, the "O'Commie regime" will find it EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Only 155 more days left!
Clearly you also don't know what occasional means. Hint, it is not doing something every single day. It also remains how clear Derek was with the show. Odds that he clarified that is smoking weed and not tobacco seem pretty low.
"3: encountered, occurring, appearing, or taken at irregular or infrequent intervals"
Irregular/regular and infrequent/frequent are indefinite, subjective terms, as is occasional, and fixing them with an arbitrary precision can lead to absurdity.
Example: occasional “is not doing something every single day.”
1. I urinate every single day. 2. Hence, I do not urinate occasionally. 3. Hence, I do not urinate at infrequent intervals. 4. Therefore, I urinate at frequent intervals. 5. I suffer from frequent urination.
Or, parsing your definition formally, occasional “is not doing something every single day” is equivalent to stating that anything not done every single day is done occasionally. i.e. If you shop for food four days a week you shop for food occasionally, because you don’t do so every single day. In fact, the “every single day” condition is very strict and means, for example, that anything done every day except one – in an arbitrary time frame – would be classified as occasional. For instance, if you eat toast for breakfast every day of your life except for one day, by your definition you eat toast for breakfast occasionally.
Now, I am aware this is not at all what you meant, but that is my point. If you insist on universal definitions for imprecise terms you have to be very, very clear about what you do mean. The inconsistencies outlined arose from applying the definition you made. The alternative, of course, is the one that is in common practice, which is to leave the terms imprecise with the understanding that “occasional” misunderstandings will arise.
Someone who daily smokes, say, one cigarette with their coffee and one after dinner, could believe, in all sincerity that they smoke occasionally – especially if they used to smoke more. Someone else, just as honestly, might consider this frequent smoking.
If you’re unwilling to allow for such situations without assuming fault or bad faith on the part of either party, please be considerate in how you choose to start defining your terms.
I don’t want my recently diagnosed frequent urination to progress into something even more serious.
whjones, there is no use in trying to reason with witchaphrodite. She is a complete and utter man-hater and no matter WHAT goes on with anyone on this show she will always say the man is wrong. Regardless how completely dishonest, awful or wrong any woman on the show is, witchaphrodite will be there to defend her and say that the woman is not the problem, it's really the man.
Trying to explain your point of view to her or even presenting facts to her is an exercise in futility.
"Your petty vengeance fetish will have to do withOUT Mr. Groin!"
How come no one is saying perhaps Derek lied on the questionaire to say he smokes occasionally when apparently that's untrue. Maybe he's nervous or stressed so was smoking more but you'd also think he'd be on his best behavior and trying to impress his new partner. I really liked Derek and was rooting for him but didn't like his defensive reaction to their conversation. He got personal with Heather whereas she just wanted to focus on the issue at hand, the smoking, not the person. That said, I don't like Heather either and agree she wouldn't have been happy with anyone. She's a weirdo.
When asked what she thought about marrying a smoker she had the choice of absolutely NOT. That is the one she was supposed to give. She did not so she lied. Period.
K/H D
If there's a way to screw something up, the "O'Commie regime" will find it EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Only 155 more days left!
I completely agree. She did say she was attracted to him, but maybe that changed during the short time they've gotten to know each other. I tend to think she just really wanted a match, so she went a little liberal in her likes/dislikes. Now maybe she's not so sure and the smoking just really pisses her off. I'm not a smoker. I can't stand it. But my husband used to smoke before we met. If he picked it up again, it would absolutely suck and I'd encourage him to quit again. But since I'm committed to him, I wouldn't get a divorce just because he started smoking. I don't think Heather feels committed to Derek. Even if she does, she went about handling it entirely wrong.
Can everyone get it through their heads that heather's issue is that Derek smokes WEED NOT CIGARETTES?!? She not my favorite person by any means but he was a straight ass about it. He's one that will go for the jugular in a fight. I'd have torn his ass up for talking to me like that.
THANK YOU. I wondered if I was the only person who realized (slowly) that he's a pot smoker. Heather talks about him "not thinking straight" while they're supposed to be getting to know each other. Cigarettes don't do that! Derek also talked about how he can't do this when he's not on vacation and has to work. Again, you'd be allowed to smoke tobacco twice a day on your breaks; he wouldn't be so worried about it if they weren't talking about marijuana. Once I understood why Heather was upset about it, everything else made sense. Her saying she doesn't mind an "occasional smoker" (read: 420 friendly) is exactly the same as saying you're okay with a "social drinker." Getting high twice a day doesn't constitute "occasional"; it's like getting buzzed or dunk twice a day!
It was when Derek compared his "smoking" to drinking that I realized it wasn't tobacco. And then I suddenly saw Heather's side of things. Before that I was like the OP, thinking Heather was being totally unreasonable and had dug her own grave by saying "occasional is fine." But there's obviously a big difference between having a Marlboro twice a day vs toking up and being in an altered state twice a day (especially when you barely know each other!).
Derek plain old lied about smoking. I would go packing too if the person that was matched to me got up everyday and smoked pot. She said she would never date him more than once. I feel sorry for Heather.. He is not to be trusted. The experts were either played for fools or Heather was b/c they knew and opted for ratings.
I don't think it's pot he's on vacation in another country you think he would risk bringing pot into a international country or get arrested for buying it.
But I think its stupid that neither of them can't say cigarette, talk about a full scripted show.
I hate to be the buzz kill here but I have another news flash for some of you.
Another question they ask in situations like this is drug use. Especially something a serious a marriage they'd better get it right. Derek may have stated "occasional" use for getting high. That's something that the producers will NOT be letting out since Florida is NOT a recreational use state. The only SPECULTION about him being a drug user is by multiple people here on IMDB.
Once again, Heather had the same list as he did. If she had a problem with that she should have notified them. I suspect that she's just not into him and is looking for an excuse to get the hell out. However, the camera is a monumental influence on far too many people out there.
I'm not an expert but there no indication that Derek is a pothead. He sure doesn't seem like one to me.
K/H D
If there's a way to screw something up, the "O'Commie regime" will find it EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Only 154 more days left!
That is very naive thinking. It is clear from their conversation that they are talking about pot. And the reason you don't hear the word cigarette is because they are not saying it. The editing team is taking out the word pot or joint. The show is not going to waste time editing out the word cigarette. They didn't edit out the word cigar.
It doesn't matter what he is smoking the answers for the questions asked didn't match reality. She is looking for a way out and has found one. She's also acting like she wants to be the next Jamie. Why not? Jamie got herself a nice paying gig in front of the camera.
K/H D
If there's a way to screw something up, the "O'Commie regime" will find it EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Only 153 more days left!
Jamie the nurse who was not attracted to her husband at all in Season 1 got a "nice paying gig in front of the camera"? Really? Or is there a different Jamie?
Yep. Same one! Out there talking to the current contestants like everything went just fine for her. She never mentions that it took forever for her to give it up to Doug.
K/H D
If there's a way to screw something up, the "O'Commie regime" will find it EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Only 86 more days left!
A deal breaker is just what is says a deal breaker. It is not a starting point for negotiations. If someone does something that is a deal breaker, then you end things. I'm not sure why that is such a difficult concept for people.
So, you know how she filled out the application where she said smoking (ANYTHING) was a deal breaker? If she did why was she one of the three picked?
Again, both of those questions are asked on the application. If he smoked cigarettes he surely would have put YES on the paperwork. If it was pot then he might not have since it's illegal in Florida. There is no proof and only speculation that is what he was doing.
K/H D
If there's a way to screw something up, the "O'Commie regime" will find it EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Only 83 more days left!
You completely ignore that regardless of what the applicants put on their forms, who they are matched with is chosen for drama. They were probably asked about pets too. That didn't stop the experts from matching Sonia with her fear of dogs, with someone who had dogs.
So ultimately what was filled out on applications, doesn't matter much in the end.
WOW!!!! Unbelievable! Someone on here actually FINALLY made a good point.
Although I will say that making a "deal breaker" right out of the gate most likely wasn't what the experts were looking for. NON-Smoking is a pretty hard- core issue for most people that are against it. I know because I am a militant smoker.
I'll still stand by my "she's a phony" though.
K/H D
If there's a way to screw something up, the "O'Commie regime" will find it EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Only 82 more days left!
Heather and Derek are in Puerto Rico which is a US territory, no passport needed. Same laws as the mainland USA. I do think he is on pot though. They haven't matched people up good since S1 which I actually didn't see.
Since "occasionally" is such a subjective term she should have just said "no smokers". But I sense some serious desperation on her part so she probably was too scared to narrow the field.
Didn't she buy him cigars as a present before the wedding? So she can't be too bothered by tobacco smoking, although she did say she would not be joining in. So yes, it must be pot and they are censoring it because it is an illegal drug in most of the US states as well as according to federal law.
Somebody isn't reading everything that I put up here. I've already said this:
EVEN IF (SPECULATING the IF here) he was smoking pot. Heather would have gotten the question on the documentation if she objected to that. Thus they wouldn't have been matched if she had an issue with it. (assuming he did say he smoked it. Of course he could have been dishonest by saying no if he did.
That 79 in my chops is my High School graduation year (the PRIME use period for using the stuff) so I have a pretty good idea what a pothead looks like and he doesn't look like he's loaded when he's on camera or being interviewed.
K/H D
If there's a way to screw something up, the "O'Commie regime" will find it EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Only 84 more days left!