MovieChat Forums > Hello, My Name Is Doris (2016) Discussion > stop with the finger wagging

stop with the finger wagging

posted 9 years ago by marfrie56
4 replies | jump to latest

So you think Sally Field doesn't look hot, or does look hot, or the male lead (name escapes me) is hot, isn't hot, or wtf is a 60something year old doing, fantasizing and pursuing a 30something year old.
These actors are people, and their fictional characters are people within the confines of the story. They weren't made for you. There are billions of people in the world - each with his/her own story, also not made for you. You have your own story, and have done things in your life that someone else might wag their finger at and declare, "inappropriate!"
(and if not you've had an incredibly boring life and it's time to get out there and get one)

Go ahead and make these judgments if you must. You're not the ultimate judge of what's hot and what's not, what's appropriate and what's cringe-worthy.
Part of the "lesson" of the movie turned out to be that such prejudices can interfere with living a full life and prevent you from exploring all the avenues that may present themselvs to you.

Wife and I enjoyed the movie very much.

Doris reminded me of my own mom, who was "hot" and effervescent, and who was named, Doris.
I went to see it for that very reason, and I was rewarded by a beautiful and interesting movie, with many other aspects beyond whether the characters were hot and whether their behavior was age-appropriate.

[–] PacificHeights 9 years ago

There is so much more to it than what you're portraying. Is it appropriate for a seventy year old woman to destroy the relationship of a thirty year old young man because she was jealous of the girlfriend and her relationship with John. On what planet would that be considered a morally just thing to do. If the seventy year old had been a man and the person being stabbed in the back had been a woman, you wouldn't be excusing his behavior or lecturing about " being judgmental".

You've set up a case on gender double-standards based on your own Doris. Take a look at that. She was more than a harmless old lady. John wanted to be her friend and she repayed him by stabbing him in the back. The movie was dressed-up as cute and quirky, but there are major integrity issues that were either glossed over or ignored.

[–] marfrie56 9 years ago

She crossed a line there but she had no bad intentions and had no concept of social media posting.
I don't know how you know what I would or wouldn't do in a different situation if say, Doris was a male.
She created a fictitious character to view the man's FB page and it went wrong. I'm not excusing it but I'm offering that we don't always know the ramifications when we act, especially in unfamiliar territory.
Gee - people can literally destroy other people's lives in movies - by killing them, for example, and still catch a break - be called a hero. Usually they are males. How's THAT for a gender double standard?

You're right about my own Doris, though. I love her and miss her so much that I'm willing to forgive this movie Doris for her transgression.

[–] PacificHeights 9 years ago

Fair enough.

[–] gbennett5 9 years ago

Uh, NOT fair enough. You both are missing Marfrie56's point that
it is NOT "wrong" for people of different ages to date. At all. It
happens. And I think it's great that older women are now feeling
comfortable pursuing younger men. As long as both people are of
age.

Of course what Doris did was wrong (and I feel one of the film's
weaknesses is that Doris doesn't make good and contact Brooklyn
to tell her the truth). But that wasn't the point that was made.
People are "uncomfortable" or "annoyed" that a 60-something
woman would still desire sex and want to at least approach a 30-
something guy who just might be interested.

Let's put it this way: Had Doris not had the mental health issues
she did, and looked like Sally Field does, I'd wager John Fremont
might've been interested.

Get over it.